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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23562841">How Many Times Can I Say?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/FivePips/pseuds/FivePips'>FivePips</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennandblitz/pseuds/jennandblitz'>jennandblitz</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Rock 'n' Pole [19]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Arguing, Asexual Character, Asexual Remus Lupin, Asexuality Spectrum, Depression, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Sirius Black, Genderfluid Teddy Lupin, Other, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Teenagers, Transphobia, mentions past child abuse, parenting, transphobic language</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:48:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>50,993</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23562841</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/FivePips/pseuds/FivePips, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennandblitz/pseuds/jennandblitz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jordan's parents reaction to Teddy and their relationship, causes a shake up in the Lupin-Black household. It reopens old wounds that Remus and Sirius thought were closed for good.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Teddy Lupin/Original Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Rock 'n' Pole [19]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1452979</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>213</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>111</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>please keep an eye on the tags! Also the first few chapters are short because we were trying to keep it short but then it got out of hand. We will be posting two times a day and there are two parts to this story arch.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sirius bounced Connor on their knee, grinning as he grabbed at their fingers. Regulus was sat on the sofa next to them, watching his son and sibling with a huge smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dadada!” Connor giggled as Remus came out into the living room with a cider and two beers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s getting so big. Remember when Teddy was this small? Now they’re making out with their boyfriend and causing queer punk havoc.” Remus settled onto the sofa next to them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so proud,” Sirius said with a wistful sigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Connor, you’re gonna stay a baby forever, aren’t you?” Regulus ran a hand through his hair, smiling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No he’s not. No matter how hard you try.” Remus took a sip of his beer. “Teddy’s running late it seems. Dinner’s nearly done.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’ll be fine, maybe the bus is just caught in traffic or something. Or she’s missed it saying goodbye to Jordan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Regulus laughed, shaking his head. “Connor is not dating until he’s thirty, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“NO!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius laughed, taking a drink of their cider. “That’s what we said about Teddy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Try thirty divided in half.” He held his hands out for Connor. “Come see Uncle Moony.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yaaaa!” Connor squealed as Sirius handed him over, turning in their seat a little. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you doing, Reg? Besides deciding he’s not dating until he’s thirty.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really well, we’re really settling into the house.” Reg, Ben, and Hestia had recently moved just a few houses down from Remus and Sirius.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good. What are Hes and Ben doing tonight?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Something romantic. I think dinner and a show,” Regulus said as the front door swung open. “Teddy!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius jumped a mile as the front door slammed shut and Teddy gave a scream of frustration. They stood up and hurried to the doorway, surprised to see both Teddy and Jordan in the entryway, both looking upset.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey you two. What’s happened?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy bit her lip before bursting into tears. “Stupid arseholes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus was suddenly next to Sirius, without Connor. “Who? What’s going on?” He wrapped his arms around her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My fucking parents,” Jordan said, slumping against the wall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius rubbed Teddy’s back as they put an arm around Jordan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about them? Are you okay?” Remus furrowed his brow before kissing the top of Teddy’s head. “You’re home now, you’re safe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They came home early from fucking tennis club or something,” Teddy said, sniffling as she hugged Remus then looked up to Jordan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go sit down, okay?” Remus sounded surprisingly calm for the situation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Jordan rubbed his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius bit their lip, trying not to jump to conclusions or fly off the handle or get upset. Their child was upset though, and this kid they’d come to care about over the past few months. They followed Remus, Teddy and Jordan through to the living room, where Reggie was sitting with Connor, looking concerned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, here, sit.” Remus gestured to the loveseat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy and Jordan sat down. Teddy was biting her lip still, and wiping away her tears as Jordan was staring at his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi Uncle Reggie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, kid, what’s happened?” Regulus frowned at his niece before setting Connor on the playmat he had brought with them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius stayed standing, chewing their lip as they watched.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We… we were upstairs, and they came home and walked in and they were </span>
  <em>
    <span>so mad</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Jordan said, staring at his own lap still.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m assuming you weren’t just sitting there watching TV or playing a game or something.” Remus looked to Sirius. “What did they do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, we were… making out,” Teddy said, sniffling still.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They were awful. Said all these horrible things about being disappointed in me and making bad decisions and whether this was just another rebellious phase thing.” Jordan scrubbed a hand over his face before taking Teddy’s hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius bit their lip harder, shifting their weight from one foot to the other. They could feel themselves getting upset and angry and were trying not to see red and make things worse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not -- you’re being you. There’s nothing wrong with it.” Remus assured Jordan. “Did they kick you out or did you leave?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bastards,” Regulus said under his breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t… I don’t know. Dad threatened that and so I walked out before he did. I don’t know if they’ll let me back in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy shook her head. “I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius paced a little before turning back to them. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh hell no</span>
  </em>
  <span>. They didn’t trust themselves to speak. Remus looked to them, a mix of </span>
  <em>
    <span>please, relax </span>
  </em>
  <span>and </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m about to lose it too</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not your fault.” Jordan frowned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s not your fault Teddy. You two -- you didn’t do anything wrong by just kissing.” Remus waved a hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy let out a shaky breath, nodding. “They called me </span>
  <em>
    <span>it.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Remus was sure that he was only keeping a level head because Sirius was angry. </span>
  <em>
    <span>So</span>
  </em>
  <span> angry. The angriest that Remus had ever seen, even when they had punched Fenrir. He couldn’t blame them at all because at the moment he wanted to go burn down the Spinnet home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They… they did that? You’re--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They did </span>
  <em>
    <span>WHAT?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Sirius </span>
  <em>
    <span>shouted</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Remus wasn’t sure he’d ever heard them shout. Their jaw was set, fists clenched as they straightened up to look at Teddy and Jordan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sirius,” Remus tried in a calm tone, even though his own blood was boiling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So when are we going to kill them?” Regulus scoffed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>Sirius</span>
  </em>
  <span> me, I’m going to fucking kill them!” Sirius threw a hand up. “Teddy, piccolina. You are not an </span>
  <em>
    <span>it</span>
  </em>
  <span>. You don’t let anyone ever talk to you like that, you tell them to fuck off. I swear to god--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Sirius</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” He tried a little sterner because he knew this wasn’t helping Teddy or Jordan right now. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Later</span>
  </em>
  <span> Remus would rage on about the dicks who had done this and maybe plot some revenge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius threw their other hand up and paced away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy bit her lip, looking to Remus. “They were so mean.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, and I want to fucking punch them both in the face, but that’s not going to help right now.” He put a hand on Teddy’s shoulder. “What matters is that you’re both safe right now. I’m sorry they were terrible. But you’re going to be okay here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jordan rubbed his eyes, sniffing back his own tears. “I knew they weren’t very accepting… but I didn’t think they would be this bad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry I can’t fix that, what can I do? What do you two need right now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… I don’t know. What if I… What if they have kicked me out?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>From the corner of his eye, Remus saw Regulus getting up from the sofa and striding to the door. A second later he heard the jingle of their car keys.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If they -- What are you two doing?” He yelped, turning towards the entryway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius didn’t answer, shrugging on their jacket. Regulus looked only slightly less furious than his sibling. Old wounds for the both were no doubt being prodded at.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If they kicked you out, we’re here. Give me one second to make sure Sirius and Regulus don’t get arrested.” He pointed towards Connor. “Play with the baby.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy nodded, glancing to the entryway and back to Remus. “I’m sorry we upset you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not your fault, Teddy,” Jordan said, taking her hand again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You -- this isn’t your fault.” Remus went for the door, feeling terrible. He couldn’t help both Teddy and Sirius at the same time. Right now, the most important thing was making sure that Sirius and Reggie didn’t end up in jail for murdering two people that didn’t deserve their energy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius was just about to shut the driver’s door of the car, looking the most furious Remus had ever seen them. He managed to catch the door before it closed, yanking it back open. “Regulus, go inside.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Remus--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your son is inside, go inside.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius looked up at him, their eyes bright. “Let me shut the fucking door, Remus.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus heard the passenger door open and close, and saw Regulus heading for the front door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why, what are you going to do?” He put himself between the door and car, so Sirius couldn’t shut it. That didn’t stop them from trying though.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Going to tell those two wastes of space that they made a huge fucking mistake speaking to my child like that,” Sirius said through their teeth, yanking the door again. “Get out of the way, Remus.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. I’m not moving. You can start driving and drag me along, I’m not moving because you’re not going anywhere. Do you think going over there is going to change these two idiots?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius yanked the door again, hard. He was going to have some bruises on his legs and back later, but it didn’t matter right now.  “I don’t give a fuck. They fucking deserve it. How dare they?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to burn the house down, but that’s not what I need to be doing right now.” He reached for the keys.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well it’s what I need to be doing. So either get in the car or get out of the fucking way.” They snatched the keys out of his reach. “I am going to tear them to pieces.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then what? Get arrested? Be taken away from your family? Not be here to help Jordan and Teddy?” He tried to grab for their wrist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius shoved his arm with their other hand. “I don’t care. Homophobic, transphobic bastards.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.” Remus gritted his teeth, wondering if he could climb into the seat with Sirius somehow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So let me go,” Sirius said, sounding a little weaker now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. If I didn’t think the neighbors would call the cops I would drag you out of the fucking car.” He made another grab for the keys.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Try me,” Sirius snarled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you and I need you here. Teddy and Jordan do too. They’re a waste of space like you said. They’re not worth it.” He unbuckled Sirius’ seatbelt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They tried to shove his hands away again, making a noise of frustration. “They don’t deserve it. How fucking dare they?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck them, yeah.” Remus wrapped his arms around their waist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me go, Remus. I’m so fucking angry! They called Teddy </span>
  <em>
    <span>it</span>
  </em>
  <span>, how the fuck am I meant to let that go? My daughter. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, but she’s also sitting in our living room scared to death because their Pada is so angry. They just want you.” He tried to pull them out of the car. They resisted him for a moment, digging in, but Remus all but dragged them out of the car. When their feet touched the ground, Sirius seemed to stop pulling back, their fingers going to Remus’ shoulders and holding on tight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How fucking dare they?” Sirius asked, softer now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re fucking terrible, but we need to go back and there and figure out how to help Teddy and Jordan.” He rubbed their back and rested his forehead on their shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius sniffed. “I’m so fucking angry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too, baby, I am too. But I need to help Teddy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Sirius whispered, letting out a long breath. “How fucking dare they?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re nothing.” Remus kissed their cheek. “Okay, nothing, and we need to show Teddy and Jordan how much they mean to us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” Sirius buried their face into his shoulder for a minute before pulling back. “I know how bad it feels.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, and now we can stop Jordan and Teddy from feeling that way, but we need to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>here</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They nodded, biting their lip hard. It was all red and swollen already. After a moment, they handed Remus the car keys, their fingers shaky. Remus took the keys before shutting the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, let’s go back in.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sirius shut the front door behind them, letting out a long breath. They had been </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> angry when Teddy told them what happened, and they were still completely furious, but they knew they had to behave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s take care of them then later I’ll take care of you,” Remus whispered as he hugged them in the entryway. “Come on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They nodded, hugging him for a moment before taking another breath and going into the living room. Regulus, Teddy and Jordan were sat on the floor with Connor. Teddy stood up as soon as she saw them walk into the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pada…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey piccolina. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy nodded before wrapping her arms around them. “I’m sorry you’re angry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not your fault. I should be better controlling it, but I was very upset you’re so hurt by these people.” Sirius hugged her back so tightly, feeling fiercely protective.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyone else smell something burning?” Regulus asked from the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shit! Dinner!” Remus bolted into the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius shook their head, smiling softly. “I’ll order takeaway, huh?” They pulled back to look at Teddy. “I’m so sorry they hurt you. You owe them nothing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.” Teddy smiled at them. “Jordan can’t go home tonight. I don’t want you to go home.” She looked over at her boyfriend on the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jordan shook his head. “I don’t want to leave you tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius looked between them, biting their lip. “Then you can stay, Jordan. However long you need.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need my stuff… clothes and stuff for school… we start in like a week, what if...” Jordan looked at Connor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want me to drive you over there to get some things?” Sirius said, gritting their teeth for a moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll drive, Sirius stay here with Teddy, Reggie, and Connor, huh? Maybe order the food?” Remus came out into the living room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius huffed and crossed their arms. They wanted to go over there. They had been so close to fighting Remus off and driving over to the Spinnet house.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pada, please stay home with me.” Teddy hugged them again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius melted, hugging her back tightly. “Okay. I will.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They needed to do something other than sitting there, though. Sirius squeezed Teddy’s waist. “How about we go and tidy your room for when Jordan and Dad get back?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus raised an eyebrow as Jordan stood up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll order dinner. How about pizza?” Regulus asked them all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius didn’t take Remus’ bait for a moment, they just wanted a moment to calm down and check in with Teddy to make sure she was okay. “Pizza sounds good kid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please don’t get double pineapple.” Remus started for the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t do that Moony, I’ll get Teddy and Sirius their own pizza.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep, we’re getting pineapple,” Sirius said, smiling softly at Teddy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah Dad, we’ll get our own.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jordan followed Remus to the door and then the door opened and closed a minute later. Sirius sighed softly. “Shall we go upstairs, piccolina?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Pada.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for getting pizza, kid,” Sirius said, glancing to their brother.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.” Regulus smiled at them with a certain look in his eyes. They knew he was thinking about their bio parents too. Sirius gave him a look back, with a little nod that said </span>
  <em>
    <span>I know.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy was already halfway up to her bedroom by the time Sirius got to the stairs. They followed after her but didn’t speak until they were in her room, pushing the door shut.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay, piccolina?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She scrunched her face up, sitting down on the edge of her bed. “I don’t know. It was -- I’ve never had people be so mean.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Sirius said, sitting next to her and putting their arm around her. “It’s horrible, and I wish you never had to deal with it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know but people are dicks, aren’t they?” She put her head on their shoulder. “I never thought you’d get so angry… and Dad kept his cool.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your Dad has never heard me shout before. So, I know. I’m sorry I got angry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah? Never?” Teddy let out a soft laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Never. I don’t know if I’ve really yelled. But I’m so angry you got hurt. You know when you were born, I made a promise to myself that you wouldn’t have to go through what I did when I was younger, or your Dad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah… well, it’s not your fault. It’s Jordan’s parents… also what happened to Dad? I thought Grandma and Bampi were the best.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They were the best, and still are.” Sirius squeezed her shoulders. “I’ll explain that another time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy frowned. “Okay… either way, you and Dad are the best and… I love you and you don’t do anything but protect me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius nodded, sighing softly. “Thank you. I’m really glad to hear you feel like we’re doing good. I want to protect you and make you feel safe and accepted here. I wish it was like that everywhere.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too. I don’t want Jordan to ever go home.” Teddy pulled her legs up on to the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can see what to do from here, right? I won’t let him go back to a house full of bigots, either.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” Teddy bit her lip. “Can he stay in my room?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius hid a smile, glancing away for a moment. “Your Dad will have a fit. But I don’t see why not. I know you’re mature enough not to be stupid.” They peered at her. “Aren’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, what’s stupid?” She laughed, her cheeks going a little pink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius rolled their eyes. “You really are my kid, aren’t you? Don’t get in over your head, don’t do anything you don’t want to, keep a level head, and for god’s sake, condoms and lube.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her cheeks went an even deeper red. “I hav -- I will. Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhmm.” Sirius smiled, ruffling her hair. “I know, you’re smart, and mature.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was going to say I have kept a level head! Not that… we haven’t… It came out all weird.” She blurted out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I’m very glad you’ve kept a level head. I’m so proud of you piccolina.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean… sex… I’m not ready for that.” She shook her head. “Please tell Dad that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius nodded, going serious for a moment. “I will. I trust you. I’m glad you know how you feel.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too.” She sighed, standing up. “Can we really tidy? I’m worried about what’s going on at Jordan’s and I don’t want to think about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep. We get this tidied and I will vouch for Jordan staying here when I talk to your Dad. Deal?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Deal.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“We’ll get this all sorted, Jordan, okay?” Remus glanced over at the teen in the passenger seat. He had no idea what was going to happen at the house.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jordan nodded, staring out of the window. “Yeah. Thank you, Mr. Lupin-Black.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kid, it’s been months, you know to call me Remus.” He smiled over at him before turning down the street. “When we get there, do you need me to go in with you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… don’t know. I don’t know what they’re going to say. Come to the door with me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, whatever you need.” Remus was nervous because he didn’t want to explode at the jerks, but he didn’t want to make Jordan do anything he didn’t want to do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They pulled up to the house, and parked. As he turned off the car Remus took a deep breath then turned towards Jordan. “Whatever happens, we’re here for you, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded, looking out of the window. “Yeah. Thank you,” he said, taking a deep breath before he got out and strode towards the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus went after him, trying to keep up with how fast he was walking. Before they even got to the door it opened and a blonde, pinched faced woman opened the door. “I didn’t think you were coming back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jordan stopped in his tracks. “I’m not staying. I’m getting my things for school and my clothes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She frowned before looking over her shoulder. “Are you sure, Jordan? We…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s probably best he stays away at least for a night.” Remus watched the woman. She was looking at Jordan with affection and concern. It didn’t seem like she hated her son.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I agree.” A man appeared in the doorway, who must’ve been Jordan’s Dad. Jordan swallowed and walked up to the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” he said, not looking at his father.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Make sure you get enough for awhile. You’re not coming back until you change your mind.” His father watched him as Jordan went inside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus watched the mom the whole time, she didn’t even look at her husband. It was awkward and quiet for a few moments before Remus spoke up, “Well, he’s going to be in a safe place, so you don’t have to worry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked at him for a moment, her hand still on the door. “Your Teddy’s Dad?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep.” He took another deep breath, trying to stay calm. “If you’d like to talk about my child being an </span>
  <em>
    <span>it</span>
  </em>
  <span> with me, I’d probably not start on that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She flinched, her eyes closing for a moment. “That particular word choice was my husband’s, thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You fully agree with me, Bev.” The man put a hand on her shoulder. “Your child--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think it’s best you don’t start.” Remus clenched his fist, thinking about how he needed to get Jordan back and go home to Teddy and Sirius.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who do you--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just on time, Jordan appeared at the door holding two bags. “Dad, don’t. You just don’t get it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you don’t get it Jordan. You’re just being a rebellious teenager. When you see what you’ve done wrong then you can come home.” He sent Remus a glare before going back into the house somewhere.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jordan sighed, stepping past his mother. “Let’s go, Remus.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jordan,” His mother started.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned and looked at her for a moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m… I’m…” She shook her head. “I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You too Ma,” he said softly, before turning around and walking towards Remus’ car.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus frowned, feeling his heart break a little. “Maybe we can meet under better circumstances someday, Bev.” He turned to the car himself, wondering how on earth they could get the father out of both Jordan and Bev’s life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time he got to the car, Jordan had already put his bags in the back and was getting into the passenger seat. His eyes looked a little red, but he didn’t say anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your mom… she seems nice?” Remus said after getting into the car himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She is,” he said. “But my Dad is the one with the problem.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I could tell that.” He started to drive again. “He’s never hurt you or your ma before has he?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jordan shook his head. “No. Just very… strict.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry. I’d like to talk with your ma.” He turned out of the street.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dad wouldn’t like it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus nodded, trying to think of something to say for a moment. He understood shitty parents a bit more after hearing more and more about Sirius’ childhood. Well, he didn’t understand the parents but he got the point of view from the kid. At least Jordan had his mother. Hopefully, one day they could have a good relationship.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “Well, your dad doesn’t run the world, Jordan. He might think he does, but he doesn’t. You know, Sirius’ bio parents were both like your dad. They’re good to talk to about that.” That was probably an understatement, but he didn’t know how strict his dad was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah? They said that to me, the first time we met.” Jordan swallowed and rubbed his eyes. “Teddy says they don’t talk about them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Teddy knows more about my Dad who passed away well before I even met Sirius than they know about Sirius’ bio parents.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jordan nodded. “Right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think your ma has it in her though, to be a good person. I don’t… I want you to know that, okay?” He shot them a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. I think… I think she does too. It’s my Dad who’s the dick.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Agreed.” He let out a sigh. “God, I’m starving now. All those emotions.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too.” Jordan was quiet for a moment. “There’s pizza though, and no pineapple in sight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s really Teddy and Sirius’ biggest fault, I’m telling you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jordan chuckled. “I agree. Teddy is… she’s really great.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She is, isn’t she?” Remus raised his eyebrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jordan flushed and looked away, rubbing his face again. “She is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha, Sirius once told me that if we dated in high school we’d be like you two. I don’t think so because I wouldn’t have ever asked them on a date because they’re out of my league. You two are great together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, she’s definitely out of my league,” Jordan said, laughing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, that’s the right thing to say to me.” Remus snorted a laugh. “She wants to dye her hair teal.” Remus said as they were at a light across from the store they usually got the dye at. “Should we pick up some dye?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jordan grinned, brightening up. “Teal would look great. Can we?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, let’s. You can say it was your idea.” Remus turned to the parking lot.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sirius studied their pizza slice, trying to convince themselves they were hungry. Remus and Jordan weren’t back yet, though, and that was making it a little harder. They were very concerned Punk Remus had made an appearance and gotten arrested for arson after all, despite the fact he had talked both Sirius and Regulus down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thankfully the door opened not long after the pizza arrived, and Remus walked into the room carrying two bags. Jordan trailed behind him with one of their shopping totes. “We’re back, just in time for pizza. We had to make a stop at the store.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius let out a long breath of relief, the knot of tension in their chest loosening. “Hey, how did it go?” They asked, as Teddy shot up to hug Jordan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah? Okay, I guess. I’m not sure how to gauge this sort of thing but there was no shouting or punching or arson.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Arson?” Jordan sounded surprised.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t ask.” Teddy pulled Jordan to sit by the coffee table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus shoulder one of the bags then held out the other. “Sirius, want to help me take these to the sunroom?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Er, yeah.” Sirius set their slice of pizza down and stood up. They were all in favor of Jordan staying in Teddy’s room, but that was a discussion the two of them could have in private.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy made a little displeased noise as Sirius grabbed the bag, Remus didn’t seem to hear though, as Connor let out a loud giggle. Sirius gave her a smile, trying to say silently that they were going to try and get it sorted, before they followed Remus into the sunroom, very glad to have him back in the house.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus set the bag on his shoulder down before flopping onto the bed with a groan. “His mother is… she’s probably </span>
  <em>
    <span>nice</span>
  </em>
  <span>. His dad’s a fucking dick.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius crossed over to him and sat in his lap, their arms around his neck. “I’m sorry you had to deal with them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It wasn’t too bad. Really, the mother wasn’t bad. If the dad fucked off, I think things would be better.” He wrapped his arms around them. “Are you all right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m… dealing,” they said, closing their eyes and leaning into him. “I’m still very angry, and upset, and thinking a lot about how to help them both.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure. I can… I’ll do whatever you need me to do tonight. I think we should just try to decompress. We got Teddy hair dye, and Jordan because he’s always wanted to dye it, as well as a bunch of candy and cookies. We can all, including your brother and nephew, just try to breathe. Tomorrow’s a new day and we’ll manage.” Remus kissed their cheek. “Plus, I’ll be real nice to you later.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius smiled, biting their lip. “Dyeing hair and eating junk food and breathing sounds really nice. Then when everyone’s asleep, we can be real nice.” They kissed his cheek, sighing softly. “Teddy and I were talking earlier.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay… what about Teddy?” Remus raised an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“About her and Jordan. She asked if he could stay in her room.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re sixteen, no.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re sixteen and both smart and mature and Teddy said explicitly that she isn’t ready for sex. She told me to tell you that. She just wants to be around him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus shook his head. “If she was mature enough for it, she’d talk to me about it. Also, it’s like they’re living together as it is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius sighed. “She doesn’t want to upset you. I said I would talk to you about it. It came up in conversation, but I understand this is a discussion.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think it’s a good idea. They’re both so young.” Remus paused then frowned. “Oh god, I’m the mean parent, aren’t I?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha! God, maybe this time, but we take it in turns, I think.” Sirius kissed his cheek. “I disagree with you but let’s talk about it another time? I don’t have the energy tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. Let’s go eat pizza.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please,” Sirius said, smiling. “Just give me a kiss before we do. Pre-pineapple.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank goodness.” Remus laughed before pressing his lips to theirs. Sirius leaned into him, grateful he was back and trying to calm down a little still. They kept thinking about how awful it was for both Jordan and Teddy, and how they knew just how both felt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After pizza, Regulus and Connor went home. Their nephew was getting more than fussy. Regulus assured them he was okay, and Hes and Ben were already home. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once his brother left, they all went up to the bathroom to dye the teens’ hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sirius, you want me to dye your two strands of grey?” Remus teased as he helped Jordan with his purple dye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius gasped, pausing in applying Teddy’s teal dye with her. “How very dare. They obviously make me look distinguished.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Old, Pada,” Teddy retorted, teasing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oi you, don’t be cheeky when I’m dyeing your hair.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus laughed at them. “So touchy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If we’re doing my greys, shall we do yours caro? Get rid of the silver fox?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Silver fox? Ew! Pada!” Teddy shrieked, and Jordan stifled a laugh behind his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus snorted and shook his head. “I’d use all the dye up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well I like it.” Sirius set their brush down, smiling at Remus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think it’s a look, Dad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I agree,” Sirius murmured. “There, you’re done until we wash it off, piccolina.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Should we watch some horrible show or movie while we wait and eat all the candy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good idea. What are you thinking?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine with whatever.” Jordan shrugged as Remus stood up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go see what’s on.” Remus gestured to the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius put their arm around Teddy’s shoulders and headed to the door. They lingered behind a little, turning their head to speak quietly to her. “Your Dad says no to Jordan staying in your room just now. But I’ll bring it up again later. Maybe the three of us can chat, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s just gonna say no.” Teddy frowned as they could hear Remus talking to Jordan about music on the way down the stairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tonight, yeah, but everyone is really emotional tonight. Let’s talk tomorrow.” They squeezed her shoulders. “I know you want to be with him but at least he’s only a few rooms away tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” Teddy nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so proud of you. How are you doing, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know… I’m still upset, but at least Jordan’s safe right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right. And you’re allowed to be upset. They were awful to you. So don’t feel as if you can’t.” Sirius rubbed her arm, watching her carefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know that. Minnie would say that we need to feel our feelings to grow.” She smiled. “Come on, let’s go watch something horrible… maybe Jordan could see Minnie or someone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius’ heart bloomed. “That’s a good idea, let’s talk to him about it later. For now, how about I’m A Celeb?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Perfect!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They watched a few episodes of a show whilst their hair dye got to work, eating cookies and crisps and ice cream, before Sirius helped Teddy and Jordan wash their dye out. Both of them were over the moon with their new colours and couldn’t stop grinning. Sirius was so pleased to be able to help them with something wonderful when they were both feeling awful. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually Teddy went to bed and Jordan went into the sunroom, Teddy a little grumpily, but alas. Sirius closed their eyes, sighing softly as everything went quiet. Today had definitely been an experience.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go upstairs.” Remus stood up from the sofa after turning the TV off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please,” Sirius hummed, standing up themselves and stretching a little. “Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus nodded, running a hand through his curls. “I’ve got all these emotions, but nothing is sticking. Like it’s all just skipping around.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius put their arm around his waist. “I know what you mean. They’re both in bed so we don’t have to worry for the next twelve hours.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmmm, true.” Remus led them upstairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, we only have to worry about one thing,” they amended, following him up the stairs and into their room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“One thing?” Remus laughed softly as he closed the door behind them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You and me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” He kissed their forehead. “Do you want me to take care of you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius nodded, leaning into him. “Yes please Daddy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus got them undressed, leaving kisses all over their skin before putting on their comfiest pjs. Then he got himself changed before turning on the fairy lights and getting them both into bed. “I love you, baby, I love you so much and I know how triggering this all is for you. I wish I could stop it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius nodded, curling up against him. “I love you too. So much.” They kissed his neck, nuzzling in a little. “I just keep thinking about how awful it must be for them both.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do too, but they have us. We got them, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, we do,” Sirius said quickly. “We have to look after them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ve done well with Teddy so far, we got this. I got you too.” Remus rubbed their back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They nodded, wrapping their arms tight around him. “Thank you Daddy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m always here for you princess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius nodded, practically curling up in his lap. “I’m sorry I got so angry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be sorry for how you felt. I understand, I know why you did.” He played with their hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just… I told myself I wouldn’t let Teddy go through what I did, and now she has.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In her sixteen years of life we have done nothing but love and support her. Today… we couldn’t do anything in the moment because we weren’t there but she came right to us and we helped. We’re going to keep helping. She knows how loved she is, and how she can just be herself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius just nodded, thinking about how awful it felt to be called something like that, to be so judged and belittled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He kissed their forehead. “We can’t shield her from everything, no matter how much I wish we could. The world can be shite.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It can. I hate it. I was Jordan’s age when I got… I got kicked out, you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, and that’s shit and I wish your bio parents weren’t how they were… I… we need to be what the Potters were to you, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius nodded, pressing their face into his shoulder. “Exactly. We need to help him and make him feel safe and loved and…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think we did some of that tonight already and in the last few months. I think his mother’s tried to before too. If we could just make his father disappear…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If only.” Sirius sighed. “Just make sure they’re both safe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We will, we are. I love you more than anything.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>To Remus’ surprise he woke up before Sirius, they were probably tired from the day before. All their triggers coming up, and having such an emotional day. Remus did his best that night to take their mind off of things. After some cuddling, they ended up taking a bath because that always made Sirius feel a little better before they went back to bed. Remus went down on them, kissing them all over and trying to show them how much he loved them. It felt like he helped somewhat, which was nice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Checking that they were still sleeping, Remus slipped out of bed. He stretched a little, his back hurting somewhat after the door incident yesterday evening. Remus grimaced, hoping there weren’t any bruises or anything because Sirius would feel terrible. It wasn’t anything Remus wanted to add on to the pile of things to deal with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With one more glance to Sirius, Remus headed downstairs to make coffee. He doubted either Teddy or Jordan would be up, really he was shocked that he was up himself. But he could sit and think over coffee, maybe bring Bucky on a short walk to clear his head a little more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he was getting the coffee together in the kitchen with Bucky watching him, the door to the sunroom creaked open then shut. A minute later Remus heard footsteps padding into the kitchen behind him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Morning Jor--” He broke off what he was about to say because it wasn’t Jordan, but Teddy standing there in shorts and a tank top. Her eyes were wide and cheeks pink. “Teddy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah. Hi, Dad! You’re… awake.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I am!” His voice went all weird.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy grimaced, biting her lip. “I didn’t expect you to be.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I’m sure you didn’t. Hence why you’re sneaking out of Jordan’s room looking as if you just rolled out of bed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just wanted to see how he was!” Teddy flushed even pinker. “We were just hanging out, I swear.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, and I said I didn’t want you to sleep in the same room overnight.” Remus wondered if he was being irrational.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We didn’t. I went down a few hours ago when I couldn’t sleep. It was like four am.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All right, go upstairs.” Remus waved a hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy nodded. “Okay. Sorry Dad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine.” Remus swallowed, feeling bad for reacting like he did. Teddy just trudged her way upstairs, Remus hearing her footsteps up to her bedroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus groaned, turning the coffee maker on. It was the rules of the house, it wasn’t as if they had many. They talked to Sirius about it, he shouldn’t feel bad for thinking this way. Right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After getting the coffee going, Remus took Bucky out for a short walk, trying not to think too much on everything. There wasn’t much he could accomplish by himself, he needed Sirius at the very least. He was also tempted to call his mam because she was always right when it came to situations like this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he got in, he let Bucky off his leash before going back through to the kitchen for the biggest cup of coffee in the world. To his surprise, Sirius was up sitting at the table with a mug in front of them already. They looked tired, their eyes a bit sleepy still. “Hi, you’re up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi caro,” Sirius said softly, smiling when they saw him. “Good walk?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, it was all right.” He went over to the coffee maker. “Teddy came out of Jordan’s room when I was putting the coffee on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did she?” Sirius didn’t look surprised at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus nodded, not sure what to say. Clearly he was in the minority in the house on his position.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius sighed softly. “I don’t think anything untoward is happening, Remus. But I understand why you’re uncomfortable.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t have many rules, just expectations and we trust Teddy because she’s never given us a reason to not trust her. I asked for this one thing…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Sirius said, biting their lip. “I know. I… don’t think I’m capable of being objective here because I keep thinking about how much I hated being alone when I first ran away from home. You should talk to Teddy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus felt even worse now, thinking about how Sirius felt and how Jordan was currently feeling. He took a sip of his coffee. “Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry. I’m just… I don’t know. But you’re right, she’s sixteen, and we don’t have many rules. And I’m not being as supportive of you as I could be. We’re a team.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine, I understand.” Remus rubbed his face. “Don’t feel that way. You’re supportive.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius nodded and held their hand out to him. “Okay. I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love you too.” Remus took their hand, giving it a squeeze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for last night,” Sirius murmured, kissing the back of his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t thank each other for that stuff.” He sat down in the chair next to them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, I know.” They smiled over at him, keeping a hold of his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus took another sip of coffee. He didn’t want to put anything on Sirius, but he knew how important it was for them to talk.  “I feel bad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“About this rule, I’m feeling… I’m feeling overbearing, but logically I know I’m not.” He looked down into his mug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius ducked their head into his field of vision, smiling slightly. They had that same earnest, engaged look on their face that they did whenever they negotiated anything, or otherwise talked about feelings: like they were really listening. “I understand that. You’re not overbearing at all. Like you said, this is one of our only rules.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus sat up a little straighter. “Then why does it feel like I’m being overbearing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because you’re you and you overthink things? Because I’m not being super supportive and sort of disagree with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re allowed to disagree with me. It doesn’t mean you don’t support me.” He shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” Sirius kissed his hand. “I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too.” Remus nodded. “I’ll go talk to her.” He stood up. “You should go back to bed, you look tired.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know if I slept well. Maybe I’ll try…?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should, even just being in bed is good, right?” Remus grabbed his cup of coffee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s true. If you need me, come get me though, okay?” Sirius stood up too, stretching.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will.” He headed up the stairs, not waiting for Sirius only because he would have been tempted to crawl into bed with them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he got to Teddy’s door he knocked softly, not wanting to barge in. “Annwyl, are you awake?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Teddy said from the other side, sounding a little sleepy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I come in?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus pushed the door open, a little surprised to find how clean it was. Teddy was in their bed staring up at the ceiling, where the nightlight they had loved since a toddler was projecting stars. It was faint though with the morning light streaming through the curtains. “Do you want to talk?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy nodded, rolling onto their side. “I’m sorry I snuck downstairs earlier.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed, setting his coffee on the nightstand before sitting on the bed next to them. “I understand why you want to be close to Jordan, but it was a rule. You’re sixteen. I know that you feel all grown up, but you’re still a kid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know.” Teddy sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The reason you don’t have a lot of rules, is because you’ve always done what’s right. This rule, I put it there because I want you to still be a kid, not an adult who lives with their boyfriend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy nodded, biting their lip just like Sirius. “Okay. I just didn’t want him to be by himself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I understand that, but the fact that you went behind my back and did what I told you not to do was… it’s not great. If I walked downstairs to find you two up in the living room talking, that would have been fine. Being behind a closed door when I think you’re up in your own room, it’s different.” Remus put an arm over their shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They leaned into him just a little. “Okay. I’m sorry Dad. I won’t do it again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All right, please don’t because I’d hate to try to deal with that punishment.” He groaned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha, okay.” Teddy smiled. “We’ll just hang out in the living room.” They paused a little longer. “Thank you for letting him stay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can hang out here and in the sunroom, just not with the door closed or behind my back.” Remus shook his head. “And of course I’m letting him stay. He needs somewhere to go that’s safe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” she said, nodding. “Yeah, like… like Uncle James’ family did to Pada, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Exactly.” Remus smiled. “I didn’t mind his mom much, she seemed like she had some potential to be decent.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know. He doesn’t talk about her so much, and I don’t know if that’s good or bad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, his dad’s a dick. I should have let Pada go punch him.” He squeezed her shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They were a little scary, they were so angry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry they scared you, and they are too. It just made them think about their own parents and their own experiences, you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. I get that. Are they okay? We never really talked about… well, they’re not really my grandparents are they?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, they’re not. They’re just people who happened to create your Pada and Uncle Reggie… They’re okay, they’re just sad but they have Poppy to talk to if they need it and us and everyone else. Just like you have.” Remus smiled at Teddy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right. I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you, annwyl?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m upset. I keep wondering why people so crappy exist, and how they can even think like that. I’m… sad for Jordan that his parents think that. Worried.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That type of crappiness is a learned behavior, right? Like they were in some type of environment where they didn’t have an understanding of certain things. They probably hated people for being different, and grew up around that. Unlike your Pada and Uncle Reggie and Jordan, those crappy people didn’t let themselves be open and learn different things.” Remus frowned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy nodded, groaning a little. “They’re so crappy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry you had to deal with that crappiness.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just… keep thinking how they could even say those things. How do you process that, Dad?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He let out a long breath. “God, Teddy, I wish I could give you a straight answer because I really don’t know. You talk about it, how it made you feel and you surround yourself with good people who want you to be you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They nodded slowly. “I can do that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And talk to Minnie about it when you see her this week. That’s why she’s there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will. I already text her to see if she had an earlier slot but she didn’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus smiled, so happy that Teddy seemed to have better coping mechanisms than he did. “If you need to talk to someone, we can see if there’s other options, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d rather speak to Minnie, and it’s only three days.” Teddy leaned into him, smiling softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All right, I know how you feel. I don’t know what I’m going to do when Poppy retires.” Remus snorted a laugh. “I’m so proud of you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are we talking about being proud of our kid?” Sirius’ voice came from the ajar doorway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, how can I not gush about that?” Remus grinned. “I thought you were trying to sleep some more.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I tried, but I drank too much coffee,” they explained, padding over to the bed to sit on the other side of Teddy. “I’m very proud too piccolino.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You both are so embarrassing.” Teddy rolled her eyes. “Piccolina, Pada.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sirius smiled, putting their arm around Teddy. “Piccolina.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were so tired and drained from the last 24 hours, but they couldn’t sleep, too concerned about Teddy, Remus and Jordan. Last night had helped, curled up feeling safe and protected with Remus—and his wonderful mouth taking their mind off of things—but now they were back to being concerned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dad…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Teddy?” Remus asked as she put her head on his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… What did you want to protect me from? Like… Pada said they made a promise I wouldn’t go through things you two did.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus furrowed his brow. “Oh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius grimaced. They had misspoken, not meaning to bring Remus and Fenrir into it, but Teddy being the intelligent, emotional kid she was, she’d picked up on it. Sirius tried to give Remus an apologetic little look over the top of her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I’ve actually been wanting to bring this up, but I never knew how. Especially since you’re dating now.” He sent Sirius a reassuring look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh god, is this a sex talk? I thought just Pada did those,” Teddy said, biting her lip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No -- well, kind of? But not really?” Remus shook his head. “So before your Pada I was seeing this bloke, who wasn’t very understanding about me being wherever on the ace spectrum. There were a lot of times he made me feel bad about myself and forced me to do things I didn’t want. I thought something was wrong with me, so I guess I just went along with it. He was abusive and just not a good person.” He cleared his throat. Sirius leaned over and put their hand on his arm, squeezing a little. They were so proud of him for talking openly about this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eventually, I left the relationship but he kept popping up and harassing me every so often. One time, when you were just little, you were there with Pada, and I sort of knew I had to do something about it. So, I pressed charges and he went to jail. He’s still there.” Remus let out a long breath. “Your Grandma always knew something was wrong but I wouldn’t let her in, same with all my friends. I closed everyone out because I thought it was okay, that I’d be okay. I wasn’t though. I don’t want you to go through anything like that just because you might not totally understand yourself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius smiled reassuringly at Remus, waiting a moment before Teddy spoke. She was quiet for longer than Sirius expected before she did speak up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That sounds horrid Dad. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was horrid, and I don’t want you to think that anyone can treat you that way.” Remus kissed the top of her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy hugged him a little tighter and Sirius’ heart hurt, so proud of them both. “I won’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dad is right. No one can treat you badly or disrespect you or make you disrespect yourself, okay? No one has that right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know that. I won’t let anyone.” Teddy hugged Remus again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Remember, there’s nothing we wouldn’t do for you either. There’s nothing you can do that will make us not love you and not be there for you. Will there be times we’re upset? Probably, like I was this morning with me, but I love you and won’t go anywhere.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius hugged them both, kissing the top of Teddy’s head then Remus’ cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How about I go start breakfast, since we’re all up?” Remus asked them both, still hugging Teddy tight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seeing as Jordan’s here, maybe Dad can do his specialty pancakes?” Sirius smiled after him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’ll get all the toppings out too.” He laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’s that sound, piccolina?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy grinned. “Pancakes are the best.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll go start them, and make some more coffee. We need it.” Remus kissed them both on the top of the head before Teddy finally let go of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy shuffled closer to Sirius as Remus got out of bed, grabbing his coffee. “Thanks Dad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No problem, annwyl.” He smiled at them one more time before slipping out the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius smiled back, so proud of him, and of Teddy. They looked back to her, smoothing her hair a little. “How are you doing, sweetheart?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm, tired but okay I guess. I’m just angry and sad about everything.” She leaned into them. “I want to go snuggle Jordan but I promised Dad I wouldn’t go behind his back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That is true,” Sirius agreed, kissing the top of her head. “But if you went down, said hello to Dad on your way through, and left the sunroom door open, I don’t think that’s going behind his back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“True… and he did say I can go in if we kept the door open.” She bit her lip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Exactly. Why don’t you go and ask him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, will you come?” She pouted a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius rolled their eyes, squeezing her shoulders. “Of course. You have to do the talking though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks Pada.” She scooted out of bed, grabbing her well worn Recovering Brewing Co. sweatshirt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius stood up, stretching onto their toes a little as they lingered before heading downstairs with their daughter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the kitchen, Remus was already getting to work on the pancakes. He had a jazz record playing as he hummed along to it. Teddy looked to Sirius for a moment before going to stand next to Remus, biting her lip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dad, can I go talk to Jordan in the sunroom? I’ll keep the door open, I promise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus looked surprised. “Of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks Dad!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius smiled, giving Teddy a look of </span>
  <em>
    <span>see!</span>
  </em>
  <span> before looking back to Remus. “Do you need help with breakfast caro?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I’m fine.” He nodded as Teddy went off towards the sunroom. “Just sit there and look pretty.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius couldn’t help but smile, padding over to the counter and hopping up to sit on it. “That I can do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re very practiced at it.” He chuckled, leaning over to give them a kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are such a charmer,” Sirius murmured, smiling into the kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus laughed before kissing them once more. “Okay, breakfast.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What else would you rather? We have two ravenous teens that are probably about to starve if they don’t eat soon.” Remus snickered as he poured the batter into the pan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“God, that’s so true. Teddy is going to eat us out of house and home I swear. Takes after her Dad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I imagine it has to do with growing and the fact she dances and climbs and cares so much about school. Lots of energy expelled, hmm?” He raised an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius rolled their eyes, leaning over to snag up Remus’ coffee cup and take a drink. “That sounds about right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What I said upstairs about Fenrir, was okay, right?” He glanced at them. “I didn’t want to be too heavy, but I wanted to tell the truth.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think you did it just right. You were truthful and honest and made it sound as important as it is, without scaring her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been wanting to bring it up since she started dating Jordan. Not that I think he’s a bad kid, but you know.” Remus grabbed the spatula.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know. It makes sense. It’s a whole other part of growing up, that inherent self-respect that I think Fenrir stripped away from you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, and I don’t want that to happen to Teddy. Even with my support system, I let it happen.” Remus frowned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t let it happen. It was never your fault. It happened, and now you’re past it and he’s rotting in jail, okay?” Sirius scooted closer on the counter and put a hand on Remus’ arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.” He sighed as he flipped the pancakes. “I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too, caro. So much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus smiled. “Why don't you get them out of bed? They can help get the toppings out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good idea.” Sirius hopped down from the counter and leaned in to kiss his cheek, before heading through towards the sunroom. They purposefully tried to walk a little heavier just in case the teens were doing something a little more than snuggling. The door was open, thankfully Teddy had listened, and they knocked on the other closed one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” Teddy called out, sounding like she was shuffling around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your Dad’s making pancakes,” Sirius said, peering through the open door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy was sitting on the edge of the bed, her cheeks a little pink as Jordan was sitting cross legged behind her against the pillows. “Right, are they done?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nearly. You two can come pick out toppings, huh?” Sirius tried not to smile too much. They couldn’t be mad for their teenage child wanting to make out with her boyfriend, could they?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” Teddy stood up. “Come on Jor, Dad makes the best pancakes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius chuckled, stepping aside a little. They looked past to Jordan, who looked equally flushed. “You sleep alright, kiddo?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Er, not really. Not that the bed was uncomfortable or anything. I was just tossing and turning.” He itched his ear as Teddy walked out of the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know how that is,” Sirius said, biting their lip. They glanced back into the living room then to Jordan again. “I know you’re a good kid, and I know you and Teddy are upset right now. You need to treat her good. Right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jordan’s eyes widened, and he flushed more. “Yes, yeah… of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re teenagers, so I understand, but just… be good to each other. Be kind and respectful and understanding, okay?” They crossed their arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded vigorously. “Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good, because if you hurt my little girl I’m going to be really disappointed, kiddo.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright. Let’s go eat pancakes.” Sirius smiled, stepping out into the living room and holding the door for Jordan to follow them.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Remus wondered what Sirius had caught them doing because Teddy looked all flustered when she got to the kitchen, and Jordan and Sirius didn’t appear for a few minutes. Jordan looked like he wanted to crawl under a rock. Remus decided not to ask. It could have just been Sirius being embarrassing anyhow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once the toppings were out, they ate their pancakes and bacon. The conversation was kept light, but Remus could feel everything pressing against them. They needed to talk about what to do next. So, as they finished breakfast Remus cleared his throat to get everyone’s attention. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We need to decide how to take the next steps -- or what steps to take that is.” He picked up his coffee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius smiled, shifting a little. “Right. I already talked to Lily.” They glanced to Jordan and Teddy. “Auntie Lily does a lot of charity work with LGBT kids.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So…” Jordan looked to Sirius.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She sent me some stuff, but really I think it’s down to you, Jordan. What do you want to happen?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What can happen? What are the options?” Jordan leaned against the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, what did Lily say?” Remus asked, knowing that it was better to hear everything first before jumping on in. This was Jordan’s future, so it was important to make a good, logical choice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She said there are places and people who help kids who have been kicked out. With places to stay in group homes, or money to help pay rent, or help relocating with other families. There are also places that would be able to help you and your mum too, if she was willing to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jordan nodded. “So I would have to stay in a group home?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus didn’t miss the way Teddy shifted a little uncomfortably. Sirius took a drink of their coffee and set the mug down. “That’s not the only option. I think the main thing you need to think on is whether you want to go back home. Do you think you can help your Mum, or not? It’s either…” Sirius sighed, looking briefly to Remus. “The way I see it, at least, it’s either cut ties and try to move on… or go back and try to help your Mum, if she’s suffering too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s a lot to put on him,” Remus spoke up. “If she’s suffering, Jordan can’t be responsible for her, surely.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius bit their lip, nodding slightly. Remus could tell they wanted to say something, but decided against it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t…” Jordan cleared his throat. “I don’t think she’s a bad person.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think she is either Jordan, but you also can’t put yourself back in a bad situation.” He patted his shoulder. “You also don’t need to rush to make a choice, especially right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Teddy agreed, scooting her chair a little closer to Jordan’s.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know… I feel like I want to do </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span>, though. I want to help my Mum but I don’t know if I can… if she wants help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus nodded, squeezing his shoulder. “Believe me, you can’t get help until you really want it. I think your mum loves you so much, but she’s stuck in a bad place.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jordan nodded, turning his water glass in his hands. “Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius stood up, going to refill their coffee. Bucky perked up from under the table to follow them across the kitchen. He could tell they were uncomfortable, but he wasn’t sure what to do about them right now. There was just so much going on, Remus couldn’t keep his head on straight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She can get out, but it’s hard. Sometimes you’re in a relationship that’s so bad, that you think there’s no way out and you’re just -- that’s how it’s going to be forever.” Remus rubbed a hand over his face. God, Fenrir was really popping up today, as if he needed another thing to be stressed about.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s what Uncle James told me about smoking, too. You can’t quit until you want to. It’s hard, but you can’t force anyone until they’re ready?” Teddy looked at Jordan, then back to Remus, like she was looking for reassurance that she’d said the right thing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus nodded, “Exactly. Auntie Lily can tell you all about that.” He smiled at her, so proud at how smart she was. “I was in a bad relationship before, and it took me everything to get out of it. Honestly, it took years for me to realize how bad things actually were. Maybe this all happening will help her see that she’s not in a good place, but we have to worry about you too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy frowned, biting her lip. “Your mum’s okay, though. She’ll… she’ll be okay. You have to be okay too, though, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Jordan rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t ever want to go back home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then you don’t have to.” Sirius piped up from near the sink where they were stood. Their voice was a little broken too, Remus thought. He looked over at them, trying to sooth them with a smile, but he doubted it would help.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, and right now we don’t have to make any choices. You’re welcome to stay here and we can work things out. I think your mum is happy to know you’re safe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Jordan looked to Teddy, smiling slightly. “I think so too. I don’t want to… be in the way for you guys until I figure things out?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not in the way, Jordan. You’re welcomed here as long as you need. We’ll talk over all your choices, and take it one step at a time. Just don’t go sneaking around behind closed doors?” Remus tried to sound light.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jordan flushed red, looking down. “Yessir.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus heard the clink of cutlery on the counter, then felt Sirius’ hand on his shoulder. “I just got a text from Reggie. Mind if I head along the road?” Their voice was all quiet, their face a little pale. “I can get Lily to forward you some information.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked over at them, concerned. Remus wasn’t sure what to do because he felt like he needed to stay with Jordan and Teddy, but Sirius needed him as well. As long as they were actually going to Regulus’ then that was good. “I’ll walk you out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius smiled. “You don’t have to.” They skirted around to Teddy, hugging her tightly and kissing the top of her head, before going to Jordan and hugging him briefly too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Without saying anything, Remus stood up and followed them towards the door. “You two, why don’t you start the washing up? I’ll help in a minute.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Dad.” Teddy nodded then bumped her shoulder with Jordan’s.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius was at the front door, slipping their feet into trainers. They gave him the smallest smile when they looked up to see him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you really going over to see Reggie?” Remus asked quietly, leaning against the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius bit their lip, nodding. “Yeah. I text him though, not the other way… I just… can’t, right now. Can’t listen to this. I’m sorry I can’t help more.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No it’s all right.” His heart broke, understanding how this was all just tearing them apart. It was making them relive some of the shitties moments of their life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m just going to sit with Reggie, and just… I don’t know. I can’t. Will you be okay?” Sirius rubbed a hand over their arm and side, shifting a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus nodded, knowing he needed to put his own issues aside right now. Sirius, Jordan, and Teddy were suffering the most right now.  “Of course. I might take them out and do something. Get them out instead of sitting and thinking.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius nodded, looking at him for a moment. “I know you’re not okay too right now, but I can’t… Look after yourself, please?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be fine, the kids and I will do something fun. I don’t know what yet, but I’ll text you, okay?” Remus kissed them on the forehead. “I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius leaned into him, sighing softly. “I love you too. Be good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love you. You too.” Remus stepped out of the way, opening the door for them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius smiled softly before ducking out of the door and starting down the street. Closing the door behind him, Remus closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He just wanted to help everyone, but that seemed like an impossible task right now. So, he had to let Sirius go see their brother, and hope that he could manage Jordan and Teddy today.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Back in the kitchen, he found the teens cleaning up. Teddy turned around to him as soon as he walked through the door. “Is Pada okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Uncle Reggie needs some help with Connor. Don’t worry.” Remus shook his head. “I was thinking, maybe we could do something fun today. Take our minds off of things for a little while.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy and Jordan shared a look. “Yeah, that sounds good,” Teddy said after a moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about mini golf and go-karts?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, I love go-karts! I went as a kid for a birthday party once!” Jordan seemed to brighten up, smiling wider.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Perfect, let’s finish cleaning then we can get ready and head out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy grabbed a towel and began drying some of the dishes. “Right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pada’s probably not going to be joining us, but we can send them pictures to make them jealous.” Remus started to put the toppings away, reaching for the lid of the nutella. He knew he really needed to reassure Teddy, he didn’t want her to worry all day about them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes! That’s okay. Uncle Reg needs help with Connor, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus hated lying to Teddy, but she had enough to worry about right now. “Yeah, poor teething, crying, kiddo. Uncle Ben and Auntie Hes are doing that workshop today, so he’s all alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right right.” Teddy handed Jordan a stack of plates to put away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He was cranky last night after pizza,” Jordan commented as he went to put the dishes away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s what happens when a baby has teeth coming in.” He smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was Teddy a grumpy baby, Remus?” Jordan shot Remus a grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, actually. They were really sweet, and only a grump when they didn’t get enough sleep.” He kissed the top of Teddy’s curls.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, nothing’s changed.” He laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oi!” Teddy threw the towel down. “I’m going to change.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jordan laughed, putting the last mug away. “I’ll get dressed too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus nodded. “We’ll leave once Teddy’s ready.” He put an arm around her shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is this make fun of Teddy Day?” She smiled at him as they went for the stairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, we love you.” He squeezed her shoulder. “You doing okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy nodded. “I’m just sad for Jordan, and angry at his parents.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know that you’re angry at his mum, but… I… she’s stuck. She’s not making good choices, but I understand how she feels. Let’s mainly hate his dad. He’s the real bastard. Not that I like that she sat by while that all happened.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Agreed. I hate him so much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus gave her one more squeeze when they got to her room. “Get ready, and we’ll meet downstairs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright. I love you Dad,” Teddy said, mumbling a little as she hugged him tightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too, Teddy.” He rubbed her back before she pulled away. “Let’s show Jordan how strong our mini golf game is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy laughed. “Stop trying to make me out to be this ridiculously competitive person Dad,” she said, going into her room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are! Just like your Pada.” Remus smiled, going into his room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shutting the door behind him, Remus let out another long breath. He slumped against it for a moment, trying to not completely crumble. Getting through the day was what he had to do, and hopefully he’d manage to have some fun with the kids.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sirius let out a big sigh, curled up on their side on Regulus’ sofa. They felt awful. They should’ve been with Remus, supporting him and the kids, but they couldn’t stomach sitting around talking about Jordan’s options. They had text him a short time ago, letting him know they were there, but they didn’t know what else to do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Connor squealed in happiness from his playmat, as Regulus went to answer the door. Sirius was more than a little surprised to hear James’ voice from the hallway, lifting their head from the cushion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“James?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? You’re surprised your other brother is here?” He scoffed, taking a seat on the cushion they had just lifted their head from.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius groaned, putting their head back on his thigh. “Reg, did you grass me up to James?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Reggie said from the doorway, chuckling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Almost as if we want to make sure you’re okay, and James Fleamont Potter knows just how to help.” James stroked their hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re all here for you, you know that.” Regulus picked up their empty glass. “Want something to drink James?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, will you put some tea on?” James kept stroking Sirius’ hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius bit their lip, closing their eyes. “I should be with Remus and the kids, helping them, but if I stayed there any longer I would’ve thrown up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to, I’m sure Remus understands.” James looked down at them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s dealing with his own shit too, he talked to Teddy about Fenrir this morning too.” Sirius rolled onto their back, looking up at James.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And Remus can reach out if he needs to, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius snorted a laugh. “Not likely. I might… text Alice?” They rolled over again, curling up on their side as another wave of nausea hit them. “Ugh. I don’t want to. I keep thinking about it all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, he’s come a long way with dealing with his feelings. Have more faith in your husband.” James went back to stroking their hair. “Do you need me to text Al?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s true…” Sirius sniffed, rubbing a hand over their face. “Yeah, could you? I don’t want to do anything right now. I’m… I dunno.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s all right.” James shifted a little to pull his phone out of his pocket. “All you need to do is sit here with Reggie and me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Connor gave a giggle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, and Connor, sorry buddy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They managed a smile, looking across at their nephew. “He’s cute.” They were quiet a moment longer, rubbing at their arm and trying to stop fidgeting and squirming. “I tried to give Jordan some options, and Remus said that was a lot to put on him and all I could think was how I had to make that decision with you and Effy and Monty.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm, true. You did.” James paused in typing. “Where are Remus and the kids?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They said they were going to the karting place.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alice said she’s going, bringing Neville, Harry, and Hettie along.” James set the phone aside. “I’m sure Remus wasn’t trying to upset you or thinking that Jordan and you couldn’t make those choices.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, I know he doesn’t think that, but it’s just reminding me of it all. They called Teddy an </span>
  <em>
    <span>it</span>
  </em>
  <span>, James.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where do they live?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius shook their head a little. “Remus had to drag me out of the car yesterday. I was going to drive over there. I kept thinking about how… </span>
  <em>
    <span>they</span>
  </em>
  <span> called me that too. How awful Teddy must’ve felt, and Jordan too. Both of them are just kids, James.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, and it’s fucking shitty. I hate them all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then Remus was talking about Jordan’s mum, Bev, and how she’s in a shitty place too. I just… I don’t know how to help them. I can’t deal with this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want me to take Jordan in?” James asked. “Would that help?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We could take him too, we have an extra room.” Regulus came out with a tray of tea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know… I think Teddy would like him to stay with us, but I don’t know if Remus is keen on that. He’s not going back to that house.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why isn’t Remus keen on it?” Reggie asked, sitting on the chair nearby.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius shrugged. “He didn’t want Teddy to be so grown up, practically living with her boyfriend. And then I kept thinking about how much I hated sleeping alone when I left too, but it’s different because we weren’t romantically involved, you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, you were my sibling -- are my sibling. I see where Moony is coming from. If Harry or Hettie were in the same position, I wouldn’t want their boyfriend or girlfriend staying in their room. At the same time, I’m sure Jordan is feeling really lonely right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Sirius said, sniffing again. They had all these feelings and didn’t know what to do with them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry that this is all coming up.” James held his hand out as Regulus handed over a mug of tea. “I wish I could fix it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius stayed curled up, letting both of them just continue around them. “Me too. We can help Jordan though, right? I don’t want him back in that house, James…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He won’t. Lils said she’s doing more research right now. We’ll figure things out. Mum and Dad asked if there was anything they could do too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” they said, nodding and sniffling. “How do the Black family runaways just keep causing the Potters trouble?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a tradition.” Regulus snickered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius chuckled. “Yeah. I… don’t know. Poor kid. Both of them, they were so upset yesterday. I shouted, you know? And Remus has never heard me shout before.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were dealing with a lot of emotions. If someone ever hurt Harry or Hettie, I’d lose it too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, anyone ever disrespected Connor, there’d be no going back. Though, Remus is kind of scary when he’s all stern.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah… He had to basically wrestle me out of the car. I kept telling him to fuck off because I was so angry.” Sirius closed their eyes, sighing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You closed the door on him a few times too, from what I saw.” Regulus groaned. “I was so mad yesterday. I still am. How can there be people out there like our -- bio parents, you know? Still.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius looked up. “From what you saw?” They frowned, rubbing a hand through their hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was watching from the window to make sure you were both okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Sirius groaned, flopping back down. “I feel like there will always be horrible bigots in the world… I’d done so well protecting Teddy from them but now they’re upset.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know we want to, but we can’t protect them from everything.” James put his hand on their shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re a great parent, Sirius. I’m trying to be like you, you know?” Reggie asked softly. “This one thing is… it’s not anyone’s fault but Jordan’s parents.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius looked at their brother, biting their lip as they felt tears in their eyes. Having Reggie say that felt so wonderful but still sort of terrifying. “Yeah… Thank you, kid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Teddy’s such a great kid, you and Remus did that. You’re still doing that.” James smiled between them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Sirius nodded, burying their face into James’ thigh, sniffing sharply.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Teddy’s gonna be just fine, so are you. You just need to… I don’t know… feel all these feelings.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. That’s why I left them to it, because I couldn’t really feel my feelings, you know?” Sirius knew their voice was breaking and they were definitely obviously crying, but they tried not to think about it too much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You could have, but you can do it here too.” James’ voice was quiet. “We’ll just hunker down here and feel all the feels.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius nodded. “Have you heard from Al or Remus?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, they’re fine.” He patted their shoulder. “Al’s there with him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. She can help him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course she will. I’m sure he’s all right anyhow.” Regulus moved to pick up Connor, who had toddled over to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius nodded, curling up smaller and just trying to let themselves feel their feelings without getting lost in all their childhood memories.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Uncle Moony!” Remus turned around to see Harry coming at him. “Hey!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing here?” He laughed, seeing Hettie, Neville, and Alice walking behind him. They were all toting clubs, looking eager to join in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thought we’d come play mini golf with you guys!” Alice smiled, watching Neville and Hettie run over to Jordan and Teddy. “You alright Moony?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He rolled his eyes. “I’m doing okay. I feel as if you’ve been sent.” Of course she had been sent by Sirius to check in on him. Hopefully they weren’t worrying too much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have no idea what you mean.” Alice grinned, tapping her golf club on her shoe. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t believe you one bit.” He looked over at the teens, who were all chatting happily as the newcomers arrived. “Oi! Someone take a shot, so we don’t hold up anyone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy stuck her tongue out at Remus but went up to take her go. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alice shrugged, leaning against a piece of scenery. “It’s almost as if we have this big support network of found family who all look out for each other.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, almost. I was doing fine, Al.” He watched Teddy take her shot, which missed and hit the little windmill.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She raised an eyebrow. “Moony-Fine, or actual real person fine?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not an actual real person?” He looked at his golf club.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know that’s not what I’m saying,” Alice said, tapping him on the calf with her club. “I’m saying you say you’re fine when you’re probably not.” She stepped back and gestured to the course. “Your turn.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.” He didn’t want to talk about everything, especially with the kids right there. So, he stepped up to take his shot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on Uncle Moony!” Hettie cheered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughed before taking the shot. The ball rolled through the little green towards the hole, falling right into the hole with a clunk. “Ha!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dad!” Teddy complained as Jordan wrote down his score on the little card.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry laughed. “Teddy, you’re so competitive.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jordan, we said you’d see the demon in Teddy come out. This might be it.” Remus went to retrieve his ball.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy crossed her arms and started off to the next hole. “Dad!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alice laughed. “Don’t worry, you won’t be last, Teddy. Aunt Al is shit at mini golf.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus snickered. “She’s the worst.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Worse than Uncle James?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oi!” Hettie laughed. “Dad’s not so bad!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hettie, he’s terrible!” Harry pushed his glasses up his nose in a very James way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think Mum’s the worst.” Neville chuckled as Alice missed the ball completely when she took her shot. He had gone through a bit of an awkward phase, much like Frank had apparently, but was coming out of it looking like a young man. Remus was baffled at how old all his nieces and nephews were at times. “No offense, mum.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alice just laughed, rolling her eyes as she started for the next hole. “I’m just here for comic relief.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus snickered and rolled his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the end he won the round, Teddy coming in just behind him. She had begged him quietly to miss a shot, but he said no. She was so determined to show off in front of Jordan, and she was also so competitive like Sirius. He couldn’t count the times the two of them got pouty over losing something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once the kids took off to the kart track, Alice pulled Remus to the food stall to get something to drink. He knew that she wanted to talk, but he wasn’t up for it. Though, he was thirsty from being out in the sun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The cheese they put on these nachos doesn’t look real,” Remus said under his breath as they waited for their sodas.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s 70% plastic Moony, obviously.” Alice grinned, already picking at the jalapenos on the top of her nachos.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And yet you’re consuming it.” He snickered as he took their drinks from the cashier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alice grinned. “It’s very tasty plastic.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus grimaced as he strode over to one of the small tables with an umbrella. “Disgusting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alice laughed as she sat down, starting on the mainly-plastic nachos. “So,” she said after a moment, looking up at Remus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm?” He took a sip of his drink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s going on? I heard through the found family grapevine that things went down with Jordan’s family last night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well </span>
  <em>
    <span>James</span>
  </em>
  <span> is right, yeah. His dad found Jordan and Teddy snogging because they came home early before Teddy left. Jordan basically got kicked out and he’s staying at ours.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alice grimaced, pausing in eating. “Are you all okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Teddy’s upset about the whole situation, on top of the fact he called her an </span>
  <em>
    <span>it.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Remus had to take a deep breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He…” Alice’s eyes went wide as she looked away. “Fucking hell sweetie. So she’s not okay. What about </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s been having a tough time, but she’s so mature and working through it. She’s seeing Minnie in a couple days, so that’ll be good. Sirius is a mess because it’s dragging everything up with the Blacks, you know? And poor Jordan… his mum seems all right. His dad’s the one who’s making it all so bad.” Remus took another drink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alice peered at him over the top of her soda. “Right. And you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just trying to hold them all together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s what you’re doing, not how you are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sound like Poppy,” he complained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His best friend rolled her eyes. “I’m taking that as a compliment, she’s wonderful. But you’re avoiding the question.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m okay. Overwhelmed, but I’ll be fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you’re not fine now. What are you thinking about? What are you feeling?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus picked at his nails, shaking his head. “Overwhelmed.” This wasn’t about him though, he had Teddy, Jordan, and Sirius to worry about.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that’s understandable. This is a huge emotional thing. Can you pinpoint anything?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shook his head, taking another sip. “No.” The emotions were just everywhere right now, he couldn’t keep track of them at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alice nodded. “Okay. Well, if you want to talk about them, then I’m here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you are.” He laughed before checking his phone. He wasn’t really surprised when he saw a message from James.</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <b>Hey Moony. How is karting? x</b>
    <b>
      <br/>
    </b>
    <b>I’m at Reg’s, with Sirius x</b>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Karting’s good. Al is here as you sent 🙄</b>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <b>Good x</b>
    <b>
      <br/>
    </b>
    <b>Sorry not sorry x</b>
    <b>
      <br/>
    </b>
    <b>Harry and Hettie are with you huh?</b>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Yeah, they’re having a good time</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <b>As they always do together.</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <b>Give Sirius a hug for me.</b>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <b>I’m giving them lots of hugs, don’t worry x</b>
    <b>
      <br/>
    </b>
    <b>They’re doing alright x</b>
    <b>
      <br/>
    </b>
    <b>Will you drop by after karting? Al can have the kids for a minute x</b>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <b>I’d rather keep Teddy and Jordan home</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <b>Does Sirius need them not home?</b>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <b>No, they are worrying about the kids too</b>
    <b>
      <br/>
    </b>
    <b>I just wanted to give you both an opportunity not to worry about them for a moment</b>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Okay, I’ll worry more with them elsewhere.</b>
</p><p>
  <span class="u"></span>
  <b>Makes sense</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <b>I’m a little worried about Sirius. They’re not doing so great. I might see if they want to stay here or at ours tonight, just for space</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <b>Not to worry you, but I just want to keep you updated xx</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus frowned, rubbing the back of his neck. He didn’t want Sirius not around, but if that was what they needed, then maybe that was what needed to happen.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>If that’s what’s best, keep them with you.</b>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s happening Moony?” Alice leaned across the table and tapped him on the arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“James wants to keep Sirius at the Potter’s tonight. He’s worried about them.” Remus set his phone aside, feeling a knot that had been growing in his chest since yesterday tighten more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alice sighed. “And you don’t want that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, but I want Sirius to feel okay. They’re overwhelmed in the house right now, and that’s understandable.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, but your needs are important too, Remus.” Alice ate another nacho. “What if we all went round to Reg’s after this. Reg and I can take the kids out into the garden to have a kick around or something, and you can stay in and talk with Sirius and James about what’s going on?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I don’t want to overwhelm Sirius nor do I want to worry Teddy. I’ll call them when we get back home.” Remus shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, that makes sense. I’ll come back with you, and you can call, or maybe even go down the road. That’s the good thing about Reg being so close, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus ran a hand over his face. “I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alice made a little noise and stood up, skirting around to his side of the table to sit next to him and hug him tightly. “We’ll figure it out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Remus cleared his throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“DAD! I WON!” Teddy practically screamed as the teens came up towards where they were sitting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He brightened at the sight of his kid happy. “Of course you did annwyl!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry groaned. “You definitely cut that last corner, Teddy!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha, no way, Harry, you just got distracted!” Neville laughed, shaking his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Potter, are you calling me a cheater?” Teddy shoved him playfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry, you’re an idiot.” Hettie gave her brother a little shove.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Teddy was just that good, Potter.” Jordan patted Harry on the back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy flushed red. “Thanks Jor.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, anything else you lot want to do?” Remus took another sip of soda. “I think Auntie Al is going to explode from fake cheese soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s good cheese dammit,” Alice said, rolling her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy flopped down on the other side of the table. “I wanna go out on a high.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sound like Pada.” Remus shook his head. “We can head home if you want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The teens all exchanged a glance, before Teddy spoke up. “Can everyone come home? We wanted to watch a movie and hang out… please, Dad, please?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s fine.” Remus nodded. “We still have all that leftover candy and cookies.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes!” Teddy jumped up, smiling, and in unison the teens all started towards the park exit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus stood up, taking his soda with him. “No plastic cheese is allowed in my house.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alice laughed, finishing the last of her nachos and dropping the container into the bin. “There, I ate it all. Cheese snob.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry I like real food.” He scoffed, following after the teens.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jordan’s mum is the blonde one who likes tennis, right? I see her at the gates a lot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah? What do you think of her?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alice shrugged, thinking a moment before she spoke. “She seems nice. Always a little… pinched. Worried. Have you met her properly?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, not really. I stood there awkwardly yesterday as she told Jordan she loved him after his father disappeared back inside.” Remus dug out his keys.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh Jesus… Do you think she… she feels the same way? As his Dad, I mean.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think so. She looked upset when I mentioned what the bastard called Teddy. She said that it was his choice of words and he was like </span>
  <em>
    <span>you agree with me, Bev</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” He shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alice winced. “Oh that makes me uncomfortable… I hope she’s okay, as much as I don’t know if I can forgive her not standing up for her baby, you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm, yeah.” Remus looked towards his car, where Jordan was giving Teddy a hug. “Reminded me of Fenrir.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, right… You feel sorry for her?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know. I just think she’s not in the best position.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded, putting her arm through Remus’. “I agree. But I also want to make sure </span>
  <em>
    <span>you’re</span>
  </em>
  <span> okay. If this reminds you of Fenrir, I know that’s not easy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughed then scoffed. “I’m all right, Alice. I’ll see you at ours.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh you stubborn bastard,” She said, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “See you there. Come on, kids! Nev, Harry, Hettie, let’s go. You can continue your Illuminati meeting at Uncle Moony’s.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sirius was pretty sure they hadn’t drank this much tea in years, but James kept plying them with sugary cups of the stuff, insisting it would help them feel better. He’d brought it with him, and it was the same stuff they drank at Effy and Monty’s house. Sirius couldn’t deny it was helping them, but they still felt pretty crappy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had lots of feelings swimming around, and were worried about Remus, Teddy and Jordan too. Not only did they feel like they had to be an adult and look after their child and husband, they were trying to drag themselves back from their childhood memories and not think about how awful it all felt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James, bless him, was still petting Sirius’ hair, with their head in his lap, as Regulus sat on the floor in front of them, Connor finally upstairs for a nap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ben and Hes are going to be home soon. Can you stomach any food?” Reggie asked, peering at them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius idly rubbed their fingers through his hair, their eyes closing again. “Mm, I’m not really hungry. Was the workshop good? It go well?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, they said it was a hit. Though, they didn’t go into detail because they know I’m shit with dance stuff even after all these years.” Reggie leaned into the touch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to head to my house? Lils is there, but Harry and Hettie are back at yours with Neville and Alice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm… not sure. We can leave you to it, Reg, if Ben and Hes are coming home?” Sirius bit their lip, not wanting to move at all. “Remus will worry if I don’t go home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They won’t care if you’re here, you know that. It’s fine whatever you do,” Reggie said softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I already told Remus, and he said whatever makes you feel good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius swallowed, their eyes opening again. “That means he wants me home but doesn’t want to deal with his own needs,” they said, voice croaky.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He wants you to feel all right. Doesn’t want you overwhelmed by the madness of the teens.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah… I should be there to help my kid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Remus said Teddy’s in high spirits after winning at the karting.” James laughed. “She’s also happy to be around everyone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They couldn’t help smiling at that, knowing how competitive their child was. “Of course she won, she’s my baby. I’m… I’m glad she has all these people and all this support. Everyone looks after her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We all look after one another.” Regulus stood up with a groan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Sirius said weakly, pressing their face back into James’ leg. “Why can’t I shake this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s shit, they’re shit, and our bio parents were shit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re all shit. The world is full of shitty people who treat my kid like shit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not everyone is shit, we know plenty of good people not in our family. The shitheads are the minority.” James nudged them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. I just keep thinking about it all, remembering everything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to talk it out?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I keep thinking about how I had to make those decisions, and how you and Effy and Monty supported me so much but I still felt very alone. I keep… I’m trying to remember that I can’t save Teddy from everything, as much as I want to.” Sirius didn’t lift their head from James’ leg or open their eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s an isolating feeling, I’m sure. It’s not something people understand, but you understand it and I think maybe that will help Jordan feel less alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah… I feel as if I should be there supporting him, and Teddy and Remus, but I was sat listening to them talk this morning and I just thought… if I don’t walk out now I’m going to just break down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And that’s understandable. You need some time before you are there. There’s no rules for this stuff. Right now, Remus and Alice have it.” James tried his best to assure Sirius.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius sniffed. “You’re the best, bro.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Obviously.” James scoffed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha!” Sirius laughed, rolling their eyes. “I think… I wanna see Remus. If I go back home, will you come with me, James?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, if that’s what you want.” James nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I probably want to go upstairs or outside and not deal with the kids yet, but I want… I don’t know. I think that’s what I want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure. You can come back to mine if you need to after.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius nodded, taking a deep breath before they pushed themselves to sit upright. “Yeah, that sounds good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon enough--in the blink of an eye, it felt like--they were back at Sirius and Remus’ house. Sirius stared at the front door for a moment or two before they pushed it open and stepped through, immediately assaulted with the sound of the teens, something on the television and Bucky’s happy little barks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“PADA?!” Teddy called out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi piccolina,” Sirius replied, trying to inject some vigour into their voice as Bucky came running up to them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’s Connor? Is he still fussy?” Teddy appeared right after Bucky.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, the little thing is teething.” James laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi Uncle James!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius smiled, grateful for James as they stepped forward and gave Teddy a tight hug, glad to see that she was feeling a little better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dad! Mum said we didn’t have to go home yet!” Hettie complained from the living room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James laughed, stepping past into the living room. “We don’t! I’m here to hang out with Pads, because, get this, dad’s have lives too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey piccolina. How are you doing?” Sirius said quietly, still hugging her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m all right. I had fun and won at the karts! Dad beat us all at mini golf though.” She groaned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your Dad is a demon at mini golf, but I knew you’d win.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re crushing me.” She patted their back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius rolled their eyes and stepped back. “Where’s your Dad and Aunt Al?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Out in the garden. Auntie Al wants some of our herbs for her kitchen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, I’m gonna go out and let you kids watch your movie, so we don’t cramp your style.” Sirius kissed Teddy’s forehead, following her through to the living room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All the teens greeted them, but they were also talking about the movie. Sirius pulled James along with them towards the garden. They greeted the group back but quickly went outside with James, seeing Remus and Alice sitting on the deck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi you two,” Sirius said, trying still to sound enthusiastic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.” Alice smiled at them. “James, let’s go get something to drink.” She stood up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oi oi troops. Yeah, let’s Al.” James held his hand out to her, grinning. Sirius smiled slightly, stepping past her to draw a little closer to Remus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi my pearl, are you all right?” Remus furrowed his brow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius shook their head, going up to him and perching on his knee. “Did you have a good time at mini golf? I heard you won.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmmhmm, it was a good time. Alice ate that plastic cheese.” He put his arms around them. “What do you need? James said you can stay with him tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius bit their lip. “I’m not sure. My brain is just going a million miles an hour. I want to stay with you, but being with James is sort of… comforting too. But you make me feel the most safe… so long as I don’t overwhelm you, because Teddy is the most important.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I was going to have the kids stay the night, Teddy seems to be happy with everyone around. If you go with James you’ll be able to breathe a bit more probably.” Remus rubbed their back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Sirius said, sniffing. “But I want you too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.” He kissed their temple.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius leaned into him, hugging him tightly. They had definitely missed him, but they knew he couldn’t deal with everyone all at once. “I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too, princess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ah, there was the nickname. Even now, nearly twenty years later, it still made them feel that same kind of safe and relaxed, like they knew Remus had them and would look after them. They pressed a kiss to his cheek and closed their eyes, breathing out. “Hi Daddy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi baby.” He continued to rub their back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What should I do? I don’t know what to do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think staying with James would be best.” Remus kissed their cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. Can we video call when the kids go to bed though?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If that will make you feel good, of course.” He ran his fingers through their hair. “I’d like you to be sleeping though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius nodded, squeezing him a little tighter and leaning in towards his touch. “Okay, I can sleep if you want that. I want to be good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You look so tired.” Remus kissed their temple.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m tired,” they murmured, not opening their eyes and just wanting to feel safe and comfortable with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, but you also should try to eat something. Lils text saying she made some soup, you should have that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. And a sandwich?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d like that if your stomach is okay with it.” Remus nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll try Daddy.” Sirius nuzzled into his neck, not wanting to leave now they were here, but they knew it would be pandemonium with the kids staying over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, why don’t you get going?” He held them tight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius curled up smaller, sighing softly. “I love you Daddy. Will you text me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too. Of course I’ll text.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” Sirius loosened their grip on him. “I’ll go with James.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus nodded, letting them go. He heard the door to the sunroom creak, and James cleared his throat. “Shall we head off, sib?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go ahead, love you. Grab some clothes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Sirius agreed, standing up and heading towards James at the door. “I’ll say goodbye on the way out?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus nodded as Alice came back out with two beers in her hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius gave her a smile too as they stepped past and headed upstairs. Thankfully the kids were engrossed with their film so they didn’t really talk to them. Upstairs, they grabbed their clothes, comforting ones mainly, because they planned on just curling up on James’ sofa. They were quick to pack then head back downstairs into the garden, where Remus, James and Alice were sitting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All set?” James stood up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, ready,” Sirius said, biting their lip. “See you tomorrow, Remus?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Remus stood up to give them a hug and a kiss. “Get a good night's sleep.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius hugged him back tightly, closing their eyes. “I’ll try. You too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, go on.” Remus dropped his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love you,” Sirius said, stepping back. “Bye Al.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love you too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See ya, Padfoot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius and James got into James’ ridiculous mini-van a few moments later. Thankfully James knew they didn’t have much energy for anything, so he put the radio on and let them both be quiet for the drive.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Remus finally fell into bed. The kids were all sleeping, Hettie and Teddy up in Teddy’s room. Jordan in the sunroom with Harry and Neville in the living room. Everyone was silent, well at least not loud enough for Remus to hear from his bed. He was staring up at the ceiling, not really tired. It had been a decent day with all the teens. The kids always had a knack at making Remus feel better. He would have felt even better with Sirius around, but it felt like they needed to not be there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dad?” Teddy’s voice came from the doorway, with the quietest knock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus sat up, turning on the fairy lights. “What is it, annwyl?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy shrugged. “I can’t sleep.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come in, come on.” He rubbed his eyes. “What’s going on?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dunno,” Teddy said, coming closer and sitting on the edge of the bed. “My brain is going a million miles an hour. Pada is staying at Uncle James’?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” He frowned, he could see the confusion on her face earlier when she asked after them. “They’re not feeling well right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She pulled her legs up onto the bed, then underneath the hem of her oversized Recovery Brewing Co hoodie. “What’s wrong with them?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know how we talked about their bio parents not being good people?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy nodded, biting her lip. “I remember. They weren’t good to Pada or Uncle Reggie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, they were worse to their children than Jordan’s dad is to him.” He moved to put a hand on her shoulder. “Because of what happened with Jordan’s parents, it’s really triggered things with them. Uncle Reggie too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh… it’s like… brought it back up for them?” Teddy looked at him, her eyes wide.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it happens sometimes.” Remus frowned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay… and they’ll be okay after?” Teddy bit her lip, shifting up the bed a little so she could be closer to Remus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, they will be because they have all of us. They’ll talk to Poppy too. They were going to stay here, but I thought you’d worry about them more.” He put an arm over their shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, everyone is here, right?” Teddy stifled a yawn. “Uncle James helps though. Didn’t Pada live with his parents when they were younger?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, they did. They were there, they’re the best.” Remus reached for his phone. “We could send a picture to Pada. They’re probably sleeping, but they’ll get it in the morning.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy paused for a moment. “On my phone at least. You don’t have Snapchat Dad, and I like the filters.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, okay.” Remus snickered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t get Snapchat, though. You wouldn’t get it.” Teddy pulled her phone from her pocket and pulled open Snapchat, choosing some filter with eyelashes and glitter and flower crowns.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, you look very pretty.” Remus laughed, scooting down a little. “And don’t worry, I will not download it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good.” Teddy grinned, snapping a few pictures of them both with the stupid filters.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, send one or two along, and tell Pada we love them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy flicked through their seemingly endless camera roll, picking two to send to Sirius. “I like these ones best,” she said, following them up with a message before she locked her phone. “Pada will be okay, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, they will be. I wish I could take away your worries and their worries and Jordan’s to make you all feel better right now.” He smiled at them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do though. If you weren’t as… nice as you are, if you weren’t this good a Dad, then Jordan and me wouldn’t even get any help. You know? You and Aunt Al and Auntie Lily and Pada too even though they’re sad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus felt like he was going to start crying but he rubbed his eyes. “Right, we’re here for you and I’m glad I make you worry less.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy nodded emphatically. “Jordan says you helped a lot… and you talked about that bad relationship and I think that made me and Jordan understand better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>God, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Teddy was just so smart and mature. “I’m glad we could help him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Teddy said, sounding a little tired now. “I’m glad you didn’t stay with that person. I hope Jor’s mum does the same…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Glad I didn’t stay with them either. I wouldn’t have you or Pada…” He rubbed their back, wanting to curl up and just sob. Christ, why was this all so hard? “I hope she gets out but it’s hard.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy just nodded, leaning into him. “Me too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you go to sleep, Teddy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m tired now.” Teddy stifled another yawn and sat up, blinking sleepily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think we should go out to breakfast tomorrow, what do you say?” Remus didn’t feel like cooking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Waffles?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, that sounds amazing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Can Pada come too?” Teddy stood up, stretching a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll see if they’re up to it.” He smiled at Teddy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Night Dad,” Teddy said, rubbing her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Night annwyl, sleep tight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled, pulling the door shut on her way out. Remus listened to her footsteps down the hall back to her room, then the sound of Bucky’s claws as he followed her. He hit the lights off before curling up under the duvet, sniffing back some tears. All he wanted to do was fix it all, and to stop thinking about his own past. It wasn’t helpful to think that way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He reached for his phone and texted Sirius. There were a few that he had sent earlier, but they hadn’t answered, hopefully fast asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>I love you. Hope you’re doing okay.</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Somehow, Remus fell asleep after a good cry. Well, not a </span>
  <em>
    <span>good cry</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but it felt like he needed to do it before he burst out with all these shitty emotions. The first thing he did when waking I’m up in the morning was grab his phone to check if Sirius had text him back. He was so worried about them, but he wasn’t sure how to fix it for them.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hi. I love you.</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I slept some. Did you have a good night?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>That good, I’m glad you slept.</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <b>The kids were crazy, but good as always.</b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Good</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I love you a lot. Did you sleep?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>Yeah I did.</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <b>Did you get Teddy’s picture?</b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I did. I text her back.</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>It’s a wonderful pic. My phone background now. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>Oh, send me the pic, I’ll do the same</b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Image.jpg</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I’m glad you slept too. </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Lily has made breakfast but I’m not hungry. Why is she awake so early when the kids are with you?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>Ha! I’m not sure.</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <b>You should try to eat.</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <b>Though, I am taking the kids to breakfast, the place within walking distance from here, you know? Teddy wants you to come if you’re up to it.</b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That sounds nice</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>When are you going?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>I’m not sure, I can hear them up</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <b>Maybe an hour or so</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <b>How are you?</b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tired</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Still sort of all over the place</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Missing you lots and lots</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>Miss you too</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <b>But if you’re all over the place, maybe just stay at the Potter’s?</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <b>James can drop you home when he gets the kids.</b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Will you get me pancakes?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>Of course.</b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Okay. I’ll ask James to drop me off when he gets the kids</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>All right, I’m going to get to the kids, round them up</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <b>Love you, talk to you later</b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I love you so much. Can we have a moment with you and me soon?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>Yeah, of course</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus set his phone aside, feeling bad that he almost didn’t want Sirius home. He didn’t want to make Sirius feel worse with anything he was thinking about, or trigger them more with conversations with and about Jordan. But he loved them and wanted them there at the same time.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sirius let out a sigh as they sat heavily on the sofa. They and James had come back to the house whilst Remus was apparently still out with the kids, getting pancakes. They felt awful that they hadn’t felt up to pancakes, but they were so tired, and really didn’t want to bring the rest of the group down with how they were feeling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll go wait outside for the kids and Moony, make sure they’re not bombarding you.” James hugged them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Thanks bro,” Sirius said, hugging him back tightly. “You’re the best.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course I am. Text if you need anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will.” Sirius bit their lip, hoping Remus had been doing okay. They felt bad having to take a step back, but they knew they were no good to anyone when they felt like this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With one more hug, James headed outside. It was only a few minutes later that the door opened again and Teddy came through into the living room, basically running. “Pada!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius had to smile at the way Teddy was so happy to see them. “Hi piccolina,” they said, holding their arms out for her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She jumped onto the sofa then snuggled against them. “Dad’s got your pancakes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You two are the dream team,” they said, wrapping their arms around her. “You have a good sleepover with your friends?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Hettie let me do that cool braid on her. She looks awesome.” She rested her head on their shoulder as Jordan and Remus came in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh nice one.” They kissed the top of her head. “Hi Jordan, hi caro.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi.” Remus smiled, setting the box down on the side table next to them. “Your pancakes, love.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi Sirius.” Jordan waved.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for pancakes.” Sirius didn’t quite want to let Teddy go, though they were quite hungry all of a sudden.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We played clue last night and I won that too. I don’t think I told you that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course you did, piccolina.” Sirius grinned, squeezing her tightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She didn’t win mini golf yesterday though,” Jordan reminded her, smiling wryly. “You were mad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She tried to bribe me to win on top of it.” Remus snickered. “I’m going to get water, anyone need anything?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“DAD!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You never told me that!” Jordan gasped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius bit their lip, smiling up at Remus. “Water please caro?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing for me, thank you. I’m ah… I’m gonna go read my book.” Jordan pointed in the direction of the sunroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure kid, you don’t have to tell us a play-by-play. You do whatever -- for the most part.” Remus laughed as he walked towards the kitchen with Jordan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You wanna go hang out with your boyfriend?” Sirius murmured to Teddy, smiling. “Or are you thinking of trying to steal some of my pancakes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m stuffed, but I missed you.” Teddy hugged them tighter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius melted entirely, hugging her back. “I missed you too sweetie. I just needed some time with Uncle James to have a rest, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded. “I understand, Dad explained it to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah? About my bio parents. They weren’t very good, and sometimes it makes it hard to remember.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but we’re all here, right? So it’s better?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes piccolina. It’s much better with you here because you make me very happy. I want to make sure you’re safe and you won’t feel like I did.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You and Dad always make me safe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius sniffed, determined not to cry. They had never felt that when they were a kid, and they had been almost reliving it for the past two days, so to know they hadn’t failed Teddy was a relief. “I’m glad to hear it, Teddy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll go hang out with Jordan now. Maybe later we can watch something terrible?” Teddy grinned, pulling back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That sounds great. Let’s do that. Your Dad and I will hang out a bit too.” Sirius kissed her forehead. “I love you Teddy Lyall. I’m so proud of you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too Pada.” She stood up then bit her lip. “You and Dad are hanging out?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius raised an eyebrow. “Do we have different definitions of hanging out, piccolina?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what you mean?” Her cheeks pinked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You and Jordan go read your books and catch up on school work, and your Dad and I will watch TV.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded, heading for the kitchen as Remus came out with two waters. “I’m hanging out with Jordan, Dad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, annwyl.” Remus laughed, watching her go off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Leave the door open!” Sirius called, biting their lip as they looked back to Remus. “Hi caro.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi.” Remus set the glasses down then handed them a fork and knife. “Eat your pancakes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius smiled, sitting forward and grabbing the container. They almost said </span>
  <em>
    <span>yes Daddy,</span>
  </em>
  <span> but the sound would probably carry too much. “Thank you for getting them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Remus nodded as he sat on the other side of the sofa, grabbing the remote.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay?” Sirius watched him for a moment, tucking their toes under his thigh as they started on their pancakes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, happy you’re back.” He wrapped his free hand around their ankle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius nodded, letting out a breath and trying to just relax. “I’m happy to be back too. Teddy broke my heart. She said you and I always make her feel safe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, she said that to me too. It’s good to hear, isn’t it.” He rubbed his thumb over their ankle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Really good. I’m glad she feels that way.” Sirius smiled softly. They wanted to be done eating already so they could cuddle up with Remus, but they knew he would want them to eat all of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded, thumb still rubbing a circle over their ankle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You look like you’re thinking,” Sirius said, biting their lip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah? Just thinking about everything, Jordan especially and you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. I’m glad to be back with you. I missed you a lot. We can help Jordan. I just… don’t think I can be objective.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t need to even do anything, you don’t have to involve yourself in any conversation if it’s going to be too difficult.” Remus shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius bit their lip. “Yeah. I want to be able to help, though. But I don’t know that I can right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s okay, don’t feel bad about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. I love you. I can’t support Jordan directly, but I can support you, supporting him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s fine, love. I love you too.” Remus squeezed their ankle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we cuddle?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You done eating?” He looked at the container.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Half? I’m full right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, come here then.” Remus held out an arm to them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Immediately, Sirius tucked up against his side, curling up. They tossed their half-eaten pancake box back on the coffee table to eat the rest later, just wanting to cuddle Remus right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll put that in the fridge in a bit.” Remus put his arm around them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhmm. Not right now.” Sirius nuzzled into the crook of his neck, closing their eyes. He played with their hair, not saying anything at all. “I love you,” Sirius murmured, feeling as if they just wanted to stay here forever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too,” He whispered then kissed their temple.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry you had to deal with them by yourself last night. Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus chuckled softly. “Don’t be sorry, they’re all good kids. Just loud teenagers, but it was fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Teddy said you talked a bit about my bio parents.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just the basics, that they didn’t treat you well and Jordan’s experience is sort of dragging it all up. I didn’t get into the details.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius nodded. “Teddy doesn’t need to know the depths of it. I don’t think she has any idea of how bad some people can be, and I don’t want her to know that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t have to tell her anything at all.” Remus kissed their temple again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Sirius pressed a kiss to his neck. “You feel all tense.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus shrugged. “It’s been a long few days, hasn’t it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It has. What are you thinking?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just all of Jordan’s options. Lily sent me a bunch of things. I think I’ll go over them with him tomorrow if he’s up to it,” He explained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius nodded. “Maybe Lily can come over?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, she offered so she I’ll probably do that. Or we can go over there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhmm. Are </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> okay? You’re dealing with Jordan, and Teddy, and me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m all right, love, don’t you worry about me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I always worry about you Daddy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you do.” He shook his head before pressing his lips to their forehead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay with Daddy? I can not, if you want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus nodded. “I’m feeling a bit repulsed today.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius bit their lip, nodding. “I don’t mean it sexually. I just… want to give us both that safe place. But that’s okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay princess, it’s okay then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m too bloody tired to do anything. I just want to curl up with you. Feel… safe and looked after and reminded that I’m loved.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, baby, I got you.” He held them a little tighter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius buried their face in his neck. They could tell he was having a hard time with something, but they were finding it hard to give him space right now too.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Remus watched the show that he had put on about the universe in the background. Jordan had told him he might like it, so Remus figured he’d give it a chance. Sirius was curled up against him, and Teddy was probably distracting Jordan from his book in the sunroom. Remus wanted to have some space, but he didn’t want to take this away from Sirius because they needed it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is a cool show,” Sirius mumbled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Isn’t it? Jordan was gushing about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius chuckled. “He’s a really good kid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He is, he wants to be a scientist of some sort, you know? Doesn’t know exactly what field.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It would suit him. He’s great at science huh? I feel so… oddly protective of him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too.” Remus sighed. “Can I get up to put the pancake in the fridge? Try to save it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhmm.” Sirius nuzzled his shoulder before sitting up, stifling a yawn.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can go up to bed. I think you should nap.” He untangled himself from Sirius to stand up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They watched him for a moment, biting their lip. “I want to stay here. Can I just nap here? I won’t disturb you…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not disturbing me from anything.” Remus frowned as he picked up the container. “If you want to sleep on the sofa, that’s okay. I just thought you’d like the bed better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like the bed more but I like you the most.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus kissed them on the cheek. “I like you the most too. I like it the most when you’re comfortable, wherever that is, you can decide.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius nodded, smiling slightly. “I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too.” He kissed the other cheek before stepping back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus went into the kitchen, pausing for a moment as he opened the door to the fridge. He could hear Teddy and Jordan giggling in the sunroom. They sounded all right, so that made Remus breathe a little easier. Sirius was giving him the most worry at the moment because he knew that there wasn’t much to do to make them feel better but just be there. He didn’t feel like he was equipped enough to do that though.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he went back into the living room, Sirius was curled up into the corner of the sofa with the softest blanket over them and Bucky curled up on the floor close by. Remus sat down on the sofa on the other end, putting a hand on their ankle as he took his phone out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What’s up Moony?</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span class="u">
    <span>I heard there was mini golf yesterday and no one invited me. Afraid of getting your ass kicked?</span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus scoffed at Dorcas’ message. Everyone was checking in on him, and he knew what she was doing.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>It was the only way I could win</b>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>I’m glad you acknowledge my true talent and power</span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <b>You are the greatest, Dorky. I am nothing</b>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me</span>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
    <span>How you holdin up?</span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Well… shitty? I don’t know how to help Sirius</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus hit send then regretted it. Apparently he hit the limit. Dorcas’ reply was almost instant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>I’d wager you’re helping, Moony. You know them better than most, and know what they need.</span>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
    <span>It’s pulling up things with their bio parents, right?</span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Yeah and I’m feeling some shitty Fenrir feelings too</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <b>Jordan’s mum isn’t in a good place and everyone keeps saying she’s terrible</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <b>And I feel bad for not thinking so…</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <b>But I can’t tell Sirius this because they’re so stressed out</b>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>Well, first things first: fuck that mangy bastard, he’s where he belongs.</span>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
    <span>You’re allowed to feel sympathy for this woman in a bad situation. If you’re looking for permission, i give it to you.</span>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
    <span>But I agree that not everyone will feel as sympathetic, because they might not understand how she feels, whereas you do.</span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus looked at his phone, a mixture of surprise and relief coursed through him.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Sirius keeps saying they have a bias in this situation, but I do too, you know?</b>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>Of course you do. That’s alright.</span>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
    <span>You know all of us are banding together, right? We’ll help this kid out, and if his mum wants it too then we’ll help her out as well. If she wants it. If she doesn’t, then we just help Jord.</span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <b>I know. You’re all the best.</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <b>I wish I could just put my feelings on the back burner.</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <b>Sirius wanted some comfort and it’s just… it was hard for me and it was just a cuddle.</b>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>Do you think that’s tied to the Fenrir bullshit?</span>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
    <span>They have other places for comfort too, don’t they. They were with James all day yesterday, right?</span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <b>I know it’s the Fenrir bullshit</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <b>And they do have other places, but they wanted Daddy</b>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>Ah. That’s hard. I’m sorry Moony. I don’t know if I have much advice. That’s not the kind of thing I think you can outsource, right?</span>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
    <span>Do they know you’re having a hard time? In general and also with being Daddy?</span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <b>God, no it can not be outsourced. I told you about that fight</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <b>They know I’m upset, but not the Daddy thing and I don’t want to bring up Fenrir</b>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>Okay</span>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
    <span>I mean, you know I’m gonna say I think it will help. Talking so they understand you’re not in the right headspace now will maybe ease some of it for both of you.</span>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
    <span>You know I’m always harping on about communication.</span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <b>I just worry about their headspace if I tell them how I’m really doing</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <b>They are so stressed over Jordan and Teddy, I don’t want to pile on</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <b>And my fucking back is killing me to top it all off</b>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>What did you do to your back???</span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <b>When Sirius was sort of melting down after Jordan and Teddy came home and told us what happened they tried to leave and I stopped them and they kept trying to close the car door but I wouldn’t let them.</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <b>I didn’t want them to end up getting arrested.</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Jesus Christ.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span class="u">
    <span>It sounds like it’s been stressful as all fuck for everyone.</span>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
    <span>I still think you should tell them how you feel, Moony. You don’t have to shoulder every burden.</span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <b>I know, but it’s hard right now.</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <b>They were so upset, Dorky</b>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>So I heard</span>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
    <span>And I bet they would be upset if they knew you’d been keeping your feelings from them.</span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <b>I know, I know.</b>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>Sooner or later you’ll realise I’m always right, Moony </span>
    <span>😉</span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <b>You are. Hate you.</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <b>Love you, Dorky</b>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>Love you too, Moony</span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus set his phone aside with a groan, sinking down into the cushions as he tried to focus on the show. On the other end of the sofa, Sirius was asleep, breathing evenly. Every so often he could hear Teddy and Jordan talking and laughing in the sunroom. Tomorrow he was meant to be at Recovery, but he was thinking about not going. There wasn’t anything pressing for him to be there. He could see if Reggie or Gid could go in for him. Sirius had some classes, but he didn’t think they should go in either. Teddy and Jordan had school starting back up in a week, so they had one more week of freedom. Maybe they could do something all together after he and Jordan talked about things.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was so much to deal with, and Remus didn’t want to deal with anything at all. He wanted to just tap out for the day, and get himself together, but Jordan needed help. Teddy needed him there to make her feel safe. Sirius needed him around too. Remus couldn’t make Sirius take care of the teens all by themselves when they were feeling so down. It all was weighing down on him, making his chest go tight and heart pound. He stood up from the sofa, trying to be quiet as he went towards the downstairs bathroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Closing the door behind him, Remus sank to the ground and took a big deep breath in through his nose then out through his mouth. It had been a long time since he had an anxiety attack, but here he was. Fucking hell, Dorcas was right, wasn’t she? He needed to tell Sirius, but that thought made his heart pound faster.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus calmed himself down after a few long minutes of it all caving in. Using every trick in the book that he knew from therapy, he stopped the attack. His mind was still swirling with everything as he stood up to splash some water on his face. Thankfully he was seeing Poppy when Teddy was going to see Minnie since they were in the same practice now. He didn’t go often anymore, so he was happy that he had made that appointment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once he was composed enough, he went to make tea. As he filled the kettle, he could hear Teddy talking about the class she was taking this coming term. At least she and Jordan hadn’t seen his meltdown, and Sirius was still asleep on the sofa. No one had to add that on to their list of worries: </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dad’s first anxiety attack in about a decade.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Dorcas was right about needing to talk with Sirius, but at this moment it wasn’t the right time. Sirius was so distraught. It was painful for Remus to even hint at not wanting to be Daddy or disagree with them in any way. Shouldering the burden was just going to have to be the norm until they were in a better headspace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After finishing making his tea, he went back to the sofa to continue to watch the show. Just as he sat down, Sirius stirred from the other end of the sofa, sitting up a little and rubbing a hand over their face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good nap?” Remus asked. Even through all these emotions they were so adorable waking up as always.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius nodded, blinking sleepily at him for a moment. “Yeah… didn’t mean to nap.” They cleared their throat and looked around a little. “Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus smiled before taking a sip of the tea. He nodded. “Yeah. Your body must have needed it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah…” Sirius shifted closer, resting their head on his shoulder. “I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you.” He put his free arm around them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you just watch the show whilst I slept?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah and text with Dorky a bit. She was annoyed she didn’t go mini golfing with us.” He hated lying to Sirius, but the truth was just so much right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha, of course she was.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I made tea. There’s still some water in the kettle if you want me to get you some.” Remus kissed the top of their head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius made a soft noise. “I’ll make it, you can sit down. I’m all stiff from being curled up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever you want.” Remus rubbed their back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want anything from the kitchen?” Sirius sat forward, stretching down to put their hands on the floor. Like always, their back gave a few cracks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It said a lot for how he was feeling because he looked away instead of watching as he normally did. “Nah, I’m good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius didn’t notice though, stretching out before standing up. “Alright,” they said, padding off towards the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pulled his legs up onto the sofa, trying to focus on the show. It felt like this shouldn’t be so fucking hard for him. Helping Jordan was so important but he was so hung up on the past. That didn’t seem right to Remus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A knock at the door surprised Remus from the show, quickly followed by Bucky barking. He stood up, wondering who on earth was dropping by, normally they usually let each other know.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he opened the door, he found Marlene and Dorcas. “Hi you two.” Remus raised an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi Moony!” Marlene stepped through the door, throwing her arms around him and giving him a tight hug, before going right towards the kitchen. “Sirius!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dorcas smiled, following her wife into the house. “Hey Moony.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you two doing here?” He laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Marlene insisted on coming over to talk duet routines with Sirius,” Dorcas said, shucking off her denim jacket. “So I thought I’d come with and hang out. Alright Bucky, how are we?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, okay.” Remus watched her give Bucky a pet. “Do you want anything to drink?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dorcas just gestured with the water bottle she carried everywhere. “I’m good. You drinking enough though?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yea — are you trying to Dom me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha, no Moony. You’d know if I was. You just need to make sure you’re hydrating.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m hydrating.” He sat back down on the sofa. “What’s going on?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not much.” Dorcas followed him and sat on the sofa. “This that new space show? Marly fancies the presenter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Jordan recommended it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s a smart kid, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Very.” Remus heard Marly shrieking about something upstairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s going on, Moony?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh same old, same old, right? Looking after a kid who got kicked out of the house and his parents called my child a terrible thing and it all triggered my spouse. The usual.” Remus rolled his eyes before picking up his tea again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The Lupin sass is strong today,” Dorcas said, shaking her head a little. “I’d wager, just a shot in the dark, call it my inner Mary, that you are not feeling so great right now, and your wonderful sarcasm is but a shield, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha, sure you can say that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy came out into the living room with Jordan and Bucky. “Dad can we walk Bucky? Jordan wants to ride his skateboard too? Oh! Hi Auntie Dorky.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright kid, how are you doing?” Dorcas smiled at Teddy. “Hey Jordan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, I’m okay. I’m sure you know everything.” She laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi Dorcas.” Jordan smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yup.” Dorcas chuckled. “You know all us aunts and uncles have a collective consciousness.” She looked to Remus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dad can we go?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, sure Teddy. Why don’t you two get lunch or something too? Do you need any money?” Remus pulled his legs up on to the sofa.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I got some still from Grandma. We’ll go to that cafe on the edge of the park?” Teddy was looking between Remus and Dorcas. She was so smart she’d probably got her finger on exactly what was wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah that’s a good place. Call me if you need anything. Have fun and be safe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes Dad,” Teddy said, sounding bored before she dragged Jordan into the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure you're good with water and stuff?” Remus asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yup.” Dorcas gave him a look, one eyebrow raised. “And if I wasn’t, I’d go to the kitchen and get something else. You do not need to look after me Remus.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He huffed, eyes going back to the show.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You thinking a lot about Jordan’s mum?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here and there.” Remus bit his lip before the teens and Bucky came back through.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bye Dad! Bye Auntie Dorky!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bye you two.” Remus shot then a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dorcas waved. “Bye you two. Bucky, be good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bucky gave a bark before the front door opened then closed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So…” Dorcas took a drink. “What </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> you thinking about?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dorcas, are we really going to do this right now? I told you what’s wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, we’re going to do it right now, because look, all your responsibilities are elsewhere. Teddy and Jordan are walking the dog, and they will call if anything is wrong. Sirius is upstairs with Marlene, and you, my friend, are here, with nothing to fucking worry about for a half hour. So, talk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus shook his head. “I don’t know what to say.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Words are usually a good start. Maybe those words could even be about your </span>
  <em>
    <span>feelings</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re such an idiot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oi. Come on, you might get away with reflecting with Sirius, or even Alice, but not with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dorcas, I don’t want to talk.” Remus figured he’d try that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tough. I bet Jordan doesn’t want to be kicked out. I bet Teddy doesn’t want to worry about you or Sirius. I bet Sirius doesn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> to feel triggered by all this. I bet you don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> to think about Fenrir or how you’re feeling. </span>
  <em>
    <span>But</span>
  </em>
  <span>, talking helps those things, and seeing as Poppy isn’t here, I’m the next best thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus stayed quiet, not wanting to talk wasn’t the same as all those things.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dorcas sighed, looking back to the television.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure you don’t need anything?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Besides my friend to talk to me, nope.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I’ll talk but I have nothing to say on what you want to hear.” He looked over at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” Dorcas said, something in her eyes Remus couldn’t name. “Talk away.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He opened then closed his mouth. “Never mind. Let’s just watch the show.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sirius watched from the floor as Marlene idly spun around the pole. They were stretching, at least that was what they were telling themselves, but they felt so drained right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You want to talk about it?” Marly asked, holding the pole with one hand and hanging out towards them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dunno. Just finding it hard to stay present… not get lost in my memories, you know?” Sirius sighed, rolling onto their back and putting their legs up against the mirrors. “And Remus is upset too, but won’t talk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah the resurgence of shut them out Moony.” She came next to them before shifting into the same position.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right? Guess this is what happens when old traumas rear their heads… I just… I don’t think I can support him right now, and I need to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t need to, Sirius, there’s so many other people to help you both. I have a suspicion that’s what Dorky is doing right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s true…” Sirius sighed. “Okay. I just… I’m basically falling apart and neither of us can really help each other right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s why we’re here. I wanted to come with Mexican food and margs, but Dorky said no and it was too early.” She pouted as she pointed her toes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, Dorky. I would murder a marg right now.” Sirius watched, pointing their toes too and bringing them back up one at a time to near their head. “Thank you for coming.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you, Sirius, of course I’m here… want to see if there’s stuff to make margs?” She grinned from ear to ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too Marly.” They dropped their feet down. “Yeah. Getting drunk and spewing my feelings is a healthy coping mechanism at forty-four, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, you’re always doing what’s right. Maybe doing what’s wrong is what needs to be done right now.” She dropped her legs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius snickered. “That’s the most Marly thing I’ve ever heard. Let’s go get margs. I’m sure we have tequila somewhere from James’ birthday.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fab! Lead the way!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughing, Sirius sprang up and started for the stairs, Marlene in tow. It felt good to have their friend here, and knowing that Remus was with Dorcas helped a lot too. As they went downstairs, Sirius saw Remus and Dorcas on the sofa in the living room, watching another episode of the space show.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi,” Sirius said, smiling slightly as Dorcas turned to look at them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Sirius,” Dorcas said, waving a hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you up to?” Remus asked, not really looking at Marlene or Sirius.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Making margs!” Marlene answered, already bouncing past Sirius to the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Babe, it’s a bit early, isn’t it?” Dorcas asked, tilting her head as Remus frowned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius shrugged, looking to Marlene, who was already in the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, it’s fine. It’s like mimosas or bloody Mary’s. We’ll make them weaker, anyway,” she said from the kitchen, already getting the pitcher out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus didn’t say anything, or move, but Dorcas followed them in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius went to helping Marlene, chewing their bottom lip as they did. Dorcas came up and put a hand on their shoulder, and the other on Marlene’s.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop a minute and think, hm?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Marlene turned around, pouting. “But Sirius wants margs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dorcas looked between them. Sirius looked to the floor. If Dorcas was trying to Dom them she had another thing coming. They only listened to Remus, and he wasn’t interested right now. “Weak ones, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay!” Marlene kissed her on the cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dorcas put her arm around Sirius’ shoulders. “Oh, I’m watching you make them, darling. I know you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius leaned into her, surprised by how much they wanted her reassurance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Boring.” Marlene chuckled as she went back to gathering what she needed. Sirius chuckled, watching her. Of course Marlene knew where everything was here, they all knew each other’s places off by heart. They just leaned into Dorcas, sighing softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is Remus okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dorcas frowned. “I don’t know, Sirius, he’s not talking right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius sighed, their shoulders slumping. “I should be helping him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don't worry, Sirius, I think he doesn’t want any help right now. We can’t force it on him. Take care of you, okay?” She hugged them tight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” Sirius let out a breath, hugging her back. “Okay, I can do that.” They still wanted Remus, because he gave them a certain kind of comfort and safety, but they knew it would be better for them to try and help themselves, so he could get better too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You both have got through worse, you’re going to be all right. Give it time.” Dorcas didn’t let them go as they heard the door open then close.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius looked up, biting their lip, then looked back to Dorcas. A second later their phone buzzed in their pocket. Sirius pulled it out and unlocked it; there was a message from Remus.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Going for a walk, be back in a while. Love you.</b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I love you. Be safe. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s going for a walk, he says.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dorcas let out a groan. “Stubborn bastard, but he needs to get out there. Maybe it will help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Marlene bounced over and handed Sirius a glass of margarita. She looked to her wife, grinning. “Want one, Dorky?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No thanks, babe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius took a gulp of their drink, just sort of standing in the kitchen. They didn’t know what to do, or what they should be doing. “Do you think I should go to him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure, what do you think?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Er…” They opened and closed their mouth, glancing to their drink. “You’re asking a sub to make a decision about their Dom… I have no idea, Dorky. I don’t know what he needs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I’m asking a spouse to make a decision about their husband, Sirius. You know exactly what he needs. It’s been almost 20 years now you’ve been together, hasn’t it? You know Remus better than anyone.” She stepped away from them and slipped her arm around Marlene’s waist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius blinked, Dorcas’ words taking a moment to sink in. “Yeah… yeah. Fuck, I know. I’m sorry, Dorky. He needs… space. He won’t talk until he’s… until he’s ready.” Sirius glanced at their glass and took a sip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There you go then, let’s all watch some TV or something, hmm?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius nodded, looking up to Marlene, who was grinning broadly. “TV sounds good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All right, come on then you two.” She pulled Marlene towards the living room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dorcas was right. Remus needed space. Sirius was letting their own wants take over Remus’ wellbeing, and that was something they hated. He needed to make sure he was alright, instead of just being made to care for all of them. Sirius had managed before, so they could do it again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was an hour or so later when Teddy, Jordan and Bucky came home through the door to the sunroom, all looking a little exhausted but smiling from ear to ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi you three,” Sirius said, smiling at their child so happy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi Pada!” Teddy bounced over. “Jor did the coolest trick on his board.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was all right.” Jordan laughed as Teddy hugged Sirius.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where’s Dad?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius hugged her back, smiling. “He’s gone out for a walk piccolina. He’ll be back soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay… Ah, Jordan and I were gonna go up to my room.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm, keep the door open, and no loud music.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sound old.” Teddy straightened up, heading for the stairs. “What’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>loud</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Teddy,” Jordan said then let out a groan. “We’ll do just that Sirius.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius laughed, ruffling Teddy’s hair. “Loud is so loud we can hear it down here. Thank you Jordan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jordan smiled then was yanked by Teddy for the stairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, if Teddy isn’t your child then I don’t know who is.” Dorcas laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius snickered, watching them go upstairs. “She’s more of a brat than I am.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doubtful.” Marlene took a sip of her drink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cheeky!” Sirius smiled, sinking into the sofa a little further. They wanted to text Remus, to see how he was, but they also knew he needed space.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve seen you brat, I’d have to agree with Marlene.” Dorcas nudged them with her elbow. “You need us to leave or do you want us to stick around?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm… will you stay for a little longer? Or have you got things to do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can stay a little longer. I have a client in about an hour and a half.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius put their head on Marlene’s shoulder. “Okay. Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I could stay if you needed.” Marlene gave them a hug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See how I feel… see if Remus is back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, whatever you need.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You guys are the best,” Sirius murmured, as Bucky climbed into the sofa with them, laying his head on their chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re just doing what friends do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Marlene kissed their temple. “I am going to be an awful auntie and check on the teens. Ruin their vibe, see if Teddy wants to dance.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are awful, they’re probably making out.” Dorcas snickered as Marlene hopped off the sofa.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh I know,” she said, sounding smug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius laughed, shaking their head. “On your head be it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not even going to be loud going up the stairs. Catch them off guard,” She whispered before tiptoeing to the stairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dorcas rolled her eyes. “She’s awful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, and we love her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few seconds later, Teddy’s voice came from upstairs. “AUNTIE MARLY!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dorcas laughed loudly then covered her mouth. “Oh my god, the poor things.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius did something similar, stifling their laughter in the cushion. “Marly, leave them alone!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Though, she’s probably stopping them getting up to what she got up to as a teen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, guaranteed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was </span>
  <em>
    <span>priceless</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Marlene said, appearing at the bottom of the stairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dorcas rolled her eyes. “What did you do to the poor kids?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just asked Teddy if she wanted to dance is all.” Marlene flopped down onto the sofa.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius rubbed their face, still chuckling. “I should be more upset, but you know what, I trust them even if Remus doesn’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Remus doesn’t trust them?” Dorcas asked, both brows going up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He just doesn’t want them to shut the door when they’re together or for them to sneak around.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re teenagers, they’re gonna do it anyway and Teddy’s smart.” Marlene jumped on the sofa.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Exactly, that’s why I said. She’s mature, and we’ve talked about sex and relationships a lot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure I was worse than her when I was her age.” Marlene shrugged as the front door opened. “There’s nothing wrong with teens being smart and-- hi Moony!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were worse,” Sirius muttered, sitting up a little. “Hi caro.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus smiled at them all, that tight smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Hi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius scooted to the edge of their seat, half relieved to see him and half sad he still felt awful. “Good walk?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m going to shower now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Want some company?” Sirius glanced to Marlene, who was grinning luridly. “Not like that. We just sit and chat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, Marlene and Dorky are here. It’s fine. I’ll be down in a bit.” Remus turned towards the stairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” Sirius said, sitting back again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think we have to leave now anyhow.” Dorcas gave Sirius a look, pulling Marlene up as Remus was about halfway up the stairs. He didn’t say anything though.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius nodded, standing up. “Alright. Thank you both for coming over.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anything you need, we’re here.” Dorcas hugged them.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Remus started the shower, stripping out of his clothes as it warmed up. He hated that he was still feeling the shit, and he didn’t know how to fix anything. It was all just complete shit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few moments later there was a light knock at the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” He sighed, stepping into the shower. All he wanted was alone time, but he couldn’t keep pushing Sirius away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius stepped into the bathroom, pushing the door shut behind them but staying close to it. “I just saw Dorcas and Marly off.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Dorky has a client, right? What are the kids up to?” Remus stepped under the spray.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. The kids are in Teddy’s room. I think they’re doing schoolwork.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm, that’s good.” He closed his eyes, just feeling the hot water wash over him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. They’re doing okay.” Sirius stepped a little closer. “Want me to wash your back?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. I’m fine.” Remus shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright.” Sirius’ voice was quiet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He picked up his shampoo, not saying anything. Wanting space wasn’t a bad thing, he knew that but asking Sirius to leave right now didn’t seem like something he could manage without hurting them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. I’m going to go and think about dinner. See if the kids want some help.” Sirius paused, the sound of the door opening. “Don’t rush out, stay here all you need.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus felt the cold air of the door opening, then it shutting again. He closed his eyes tight before let out a shaky breath. It felt so bloody lonely without Sirius but it was what he wanted at the same time. He couldn’t have both. He wanted their presence, but he couldn’t keep up that nothing was bothering him. Sirius didn’t need his bullshit on top of everything else. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sniffing back some tears, he continued to wash his hair and body. He tried not to think too much, but it wasn’t freaking working. By the time Remus managed to get out of the shower, he was exhausted. He hoped he could squeeze in a nap before it was time to get ready for dinner.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Walking out of the bathroom in his towel, he was surprised that Sirius was there on the bed. “Oh, hey, I thought you were going to start dinner or something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did. It’s bubbling away, but the jar of sauce also exploded over me. So I came up to get changed. Teddy is keeping an eye on the sauce.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, I see.” Remus went to his drawer. “What are you making?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pasta. Nothing too fancy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus nodded as he dropped his towel to pull on some briefs. “Sounds good. I talked to Lily, I’m going over there tomorrow with Jordan. You can take Teddy with you to Ascendance if you want or she can stay home or come with me and Jordan. It’s up to you and her.” He reached for a pair of sweats. “We also should go food shopping, I can do that if you’re going to be busy at work.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Teddy and I can do it on my lunch or something. I’m at the closer studio tomorrow.” Remus felt their hand on his back a moment later.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That sounds good. I’m sure she’ll want to come with Jordan, but I think maybe it’s better that she doesn’t.” Remus pulled out a shirt, not turning to Sirius.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well,” they murmured, “we can let her make that decision herself.” Their hand stayed on his back, not too close but almost reminding him they were there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep.” He moved to pull the shirt on, hoping Sirius wasn’t looking at the bruises on his back. They let him pull the shirt on before tracing their fingers over one of the bruises.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry I did that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay.” Remus bent down to pick up the towel. “Come on, I don’t want Teddy to burn the sauce.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She won’t. She’s a great cook.” Sirius didn’t step back, letting him grab the towel before wrapping their arms around his shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, she is.” He nodded before letting out a sigh. “Come on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nope.” Sirius just hugged him tighter. Unlike the past few days though, it felt less like they were trying to curl up and hide away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sirius, let go please.” He wiggled away as his chest tightened, not wanting to be held right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius just sighed, finally stepping back. “I’m just grabbing a hoodie, then I’ll be down. Don’t worry about dinner, though. I got it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Take your time, I’ll do dinner.” Remus went for the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus rubbed the back of his neck before leaving the bedroom. Sometimes he didn’t want to take care of everyone, but there was this instinct inside of him that made him feel like it was impossible not to do so. As if Remus needed to be there or no one was going to be able to take care of things themselves. That was stupid, because Sirius and Teddy were both fine on their own, but it made him feel better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Down in the kitchen Teddy and Jordan were looking after the sauce, as Sirius said they were. “Hi, making dinner are we?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. It’s dead easy, Dad,” Teddy said, looking every bit the chef, minus the tall hat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, one time your Uncle Reggie managed to ruin pasta and I had to save the day.” Remus bumped Teddy with his hip. “Shall I take over?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy bit her lip, still stirring. “I don’t mind doing it. I think I must be better than Uncle Reggie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bucky is better than Uncle Reggie at making dinner.” He held his hand out. “Wouldn’t you rather be doing something else?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s either this or maths, Dad. I’ll take pasta.” Teddy grinned back at Jordan, who had a textbook open at the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They avoid maths as much as possible.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that makes me think I should make you deal with it.” He leaned against the counter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dad!” Teddy laughed. “I’ll do it later I swear, I like cooking.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, fine.” Remus went to the table. “Jordan, we’re going over to the Potter’s tomorrow, okay? We’ll talk about what we can do there, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jordan nodded, looking up from his book. “Yes, thank you. That’s Lily, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Harry and Hettie’s mum.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah shit, yeah. I still get a bit confused sometimes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus smiled at them. “We’re a big family, I don’t blame you.” Remus looked at the textbook, letting out a low whistle. “Well, I can see why Teddy is avoiding maths.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jordan laughed. “It’s not so hard,” he said, gesturing to the page of his notebook. “Teddy is just much better at like… English, and arts. I like the numbers much better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus agreed. “Mmm, we’re more of an English and arts type of house.” Remus wondered what Sirius was doing. It was taking them a long time to </span>
  <em>
    <span>get a hoodie</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy snorted. “You can say that again. One time Dad tried to help me with my chemistry homework and somehow made it worse.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We both almost cried. I offered to get her a tutor afterwards.” Remus looked over at Teddy. “Our brains don’t work like that apparently.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I agree. I’ve tried to tutor her too,” Jordan said, grinning at Teddy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oi!” Teddy shrieked, sounding just like Sirius.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius themselves appeared in the doorway a moment later. “I heard the Lupin-Black shriek of indignation. What’s happening?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re discussing our uselessness at maths and all the sciences.” Remus chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh. Yeah, no use shrieking there, piccolina. We’re useless.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Auntie Dorky had to help me at uni so much. I’m not sure why she’s still my friend.” He watched Sirius, trying to gauge how they were feeling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius laughed, going to the fridge and grabbing the open bottle of wine they’d probably used in the sauce. “We’ll never know,” they said dryly, gesturing with the bottle to Remus as if to say </span>
  <em>
    <span>want one?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus shook his head. “She can tell you all about it. Or yell about it, I’m sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She told me some a few weeks ago, when we were talking about school.” Teddy smiled, stirring the sauce. “Pada, what do you think of this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure she went to the gym and punched things afterwards.” He yawned, thinking about how he wanted to crawl into bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s Dorcas’ solution for 90% of things, caro,” Sirius said between muttering to Teddy about the sauce.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus nodded. “Should we set the table?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Could you? We’re nearly done here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stood up, going for the cabinets, biting back a sassy comment about being able to help now. It wouldn’t be helpful at all. “Jordan, why don’t you put away your school stuff?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, Remus.” Jordan closed his book then picked up his things. “I’ll be right back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius leaned against the counter, watching Teddy as she drained the pasta. They glanced over to Remus and gave him a little smile. He pulled out the bowls with a little smile before setting them down and getting out some forks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Teddy, you’re so much better than Uncle Reggie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think that’s hard,” she muttered, apparently concentrating.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We bought him cooking classes one Christmas, you know?” Sirius said, chuckling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He told me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus nodded, going back to the table with the forks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>During dinner, Teddy did most of the talking. Remus would say as usual, but Sirius tended to one of her. Tonight was different. Remus insisted on doing the dishes after dinner, letting the others go off to watch some cringey dating show. It was nice to hear them all laughing together after the last few days. Hopefully this was a step in the right direction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus went back to the living room when he was finished, leaning against the door jamb. “I’m going to go upstairs and do some reading. Does anyone need anything?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius looked back over the sofa at him, smiling slightly. “No, I think we’re good, thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Night,” He said before going towards the stairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good night Dad!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight!” Jordan called.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See you later caro.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled before disappearing up the stairs.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sirius shut the lights off downstairs before heading up. The teens had gone to bed--in their separate rooms--an hour or so ago, but Sirius wasn’t sleepy enough to go upstairs, so they stayed down and watched some more terrible television, and answered some work emails. Thankfully, they were starting to feel a little better today, though now they were a bit concerned about Remus. They’d realised they needed to make sure they were okay first, because Remus would only open up to them then. So they’d taken some time downstairs, and now they were headed up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Part of Sirius hoped Remus would already be asleep when they pushed open the bedroom door, but they doubted it. He was sitting up against the bed looking at his Kindle in his sharp looking reading glasses. Sirius’ heart bloomed, like it always did when they saw him, even after twenty years. Not to mention his glasses were so bloody adorable. They rubbed their eyes, thinking about how they should’ve worn </span>
  <em>
    <span>their</span>
  </em>
  <span> glasses for answering emails, but they were awful at remembering.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey… I thought you might be asleep already.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I got to the climax of the book, can’t put it down now,” he muttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah yes, Standard Moony.” Sirius chuckled, going over to the dresser to pull on their pyjamas.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm.” He didn’t look up from his story.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius tried not to take it to heart, remembering that he needed space, and just forcing him wasn’t going to help. He had told them to push him so many times, but they’d tried that earlier and didn’t get anywhere. So space was what he needed. They stifled a sad sigh as they shrugged on an old Ascendence shirt and padded over to the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What time do you have to go to work tomorrow?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m in at eight-thirty.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” Remus nodded, shifting a little to reach for the fairy lights to switch them off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mind if we keep them on for a little while? I’m not quite ready for sleep…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, sure.” He turned them back on before rolling over onto his side, still looking at his Kindle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius watched him for a moment, wondering whether the book was really that interesting or whether he was just wanting not to talk, before picking up their phone. There were still a few more emails they could at least field.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are your glasses?” Remus muttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have no idea,” Sirius said, chuckling softly. “They’re in a bag somewhere or at the office probably.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sirius, you need to wear them or you’re just going to strain your eyes more and make it worse.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sighed, looking up from their phone. “I know,” they said, rubbing their eyes. “I just don’t know where they are right now, and it’s only these few emails.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All right.” Remus shifted back on to his back, letting out a soft groan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry your back hurts. Should I find that stuff we use for bruises?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine.” He moved so he was against the pillows again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, I don’t think you are,” Sirius said without looking up from their phone. “But if you want to be in pain, then that’s fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius bit their lip. “Sorry. You just… always tell me off for doing the self-torture thing. If you’re sore, you should take something for it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll take care of it, it’s okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to take care of it all by yourself,” Sirius said, very quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not, Lily’s going to lay everything out tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius set their phone down, rubbing their eyes again. Okay, they did need to find their glasses. “I meant with how you’re feeling. With your back hurting, with Teddy being upset, with supporting me, with looking after Teddy and Jordan, with all of it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus just let out a noise of agreement then cleared his throat. “I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, and yet… Here you are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what you want me to do or say, Sirius.” Remus set his Kindle aside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want you to talk to me. I’m your spouse. I want to support you, I want you to </span>
  <em>
    <span>let me</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re dealing with your triggers, so I’m trying to make sure that you’re okay. I see Poppy in two days, it’s all right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius groaned, turning towards him a little. “I am dealing with my triggers, and I’m much less overwhelmed right now, now things have calmed a little. I would feel a lot better if I knew my husband wasn’t in the midst of a mental breakdown.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not, Sirius, I’m not having a mental breakdown. I’m stressed, sure, but I’m not having a mental breakdown.” Remus pinched the bridge of his nose just under his glasses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right…” They looked at him for a moment before taking his hand and turning it over to see whether his nails and the skin around them were bitten to pieces.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sirius, I’m not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They just sighed, kissing a particularly sore looking bit of his finger. “If you think I don’t know you well enough to see that that’s not the truth after nineteen years…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just anxiety, nothing we’re not familiar with. I’m not breaking down.” Remus insisted, dropping his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then talk to me. If it’s just anxiety, like we’re familiar with, talk to me. You know as well as I do that it helps.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure what I’m meant to say because it’s just everything. What isn’t there to be anxious about right now?” He shuffled down under the duvet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius gingerly touched a curl of hair on his forehead, pushing it back. “Then just start in one place and see where it takes you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus took off his glasses and put them on the nightstand. “Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m okay. I got very overwhelmed, but I’m okay now. I might not be able to help out with Jordan, but I’m here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to help with Jordan, I got it.” He rolled over again on to his side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius bit their lip, gingerly cuddling up against him to spoon him, but not too close. “I don’t have to help with Jordan, but I can help with you, and Teddy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m okay.” He reached for his phone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” they said, pressing a tiny kiss to the back of his neck before they rolled away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius took a breath and reached up to turn the fairy lights off, determined to try and sleep just a little. On the other side of their large bed, Sirius could hear and feel Remus trying to get comfortable. A few minutes later, Remus got out of bed and Sirius could hear him padding to the bathroom. They closed their eyes tighter, trying not to be terrified at the idea that he just wouldn’t come back to bed, because they knew he needed space.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They could hear him puttering around the bathroom, as if he was looking for something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Practically holding their breath, Sirius slipped out of bed and went to the bathroom, pushing the door open. “Do you need a hand?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just can’t find -- find that lotion. I think we left it in the trunk.” He stood up straight again, looking a little pale. “I’ll go find it. I didn’t mean to wake you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t asleep.” Sirius stepped back. “Get into bed, please. I’ll go get the lotion, I know exactly where it is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus rubbed his eyes. “I was looking for my anxiety medication too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’ll be really out of date…” Sirius bit their lip. “Is it not in the nightstand?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus shook his head. “I’ll just make some tea.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll do it. You’ll wake the kids up with the way you bumble about.” Sirius smiled, hoping their joke didn’t go over badly. “Get into bed, please?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No I need to do something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Sirius said, rubbing their face. “I’ll get the lotion, you make tea, and I’ll put the lotion on your back when you come back?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have to be up early, you should go to sleep.” Remus slipped by them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sleepy, Remus, just let me do this, will you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” He agreed before leaving the bathroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius held their breath for a moment longer before letting out a sigh. God, they just wanted to scream. But that wasn’t what everyone needed right now. They took another breath then went to the pole room, making sure the door was shut behind them before they unlocked the trunk and plucked the bruise lotion from the top little section. Part of them wanted to just stay in here all night, curled up on the fainting couch, and just chug coffee the next morning. They were having a hard time convincing themselves not to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took longer than it should have for Sirius to hear Remus climbing back up the stairs. Sirius took another deep breath before stepping back out of the pole room and into their bedroom. Their husband was sitting on their side of the bed, picking at his nails again. There were two mugs of tea on the nightstand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re going to be tired.” Remus looked up at them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So are you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t have to be up early.” He let out a sigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d wager you’ll still be tired.” Sirius crossed over to the bed and perched on his side. “Sit forward please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus listened, not saying anything. Sirius bit their lip, surprised he hadn’t argued some more, before they gently pushed the hem of his pyjama top up enough to gently dab bruise lotion onto the bruises. They felt awful about it now, not realising how much they had been hurting Remus at the time for how angry they were.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are the kids actually asleep? It’s early for them,” Remus’ voice was soft with an edge of something else to it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think they’re just hanging out… probably texting each other,” Sirius said softly, concentrating on the bruises. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be sleeping right now. They could be watching something on the TV in the living room. They’re on break.” Remus hissed a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius paused, biting their lip harder. “They chose to go to bed, Remus. I didn’t make them do a thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t say you did.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you done?” He looked over their shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks.” Remus reached for his tea then shuffled to his side of the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius just nodded, tucking their feet under the covers. Space, that was what Remus needed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, thanks. You should sleep. Please don’t feel bad about the bruises.” He put his glasses back on before taking a sip of his tea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should sleep too,” they said, shuffling down under the covers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t right now, I’ll read and fall asleep doing that.” He snickered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright.” Sirius leaned up, deciding against just rolling over at the last minute. They pressed a kiss to Remus’ cheek, lingering just a little. “Goodnight, I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too.” He kissed them on the other cheek then sniffled, looking back to his book.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius took a breath, reminding themselves to breathe, before rolling over onto their side.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Remus was glad that he let Sirius help him with the lotion, but now it felt like he wasn’t sure what to do. He couldn’t stop sniffling, and reading was hard. They needed to sleep because they had work, so maybe he could just slip out and let them do that. He got up, trying to be quiet because they seemed to be sleeping.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>True enough, Sirius didn’t stir at all, though Bucky came trotting out of Teddy’s room to investigate what was going on. He gave Bucky a few pets, trying not to drop his tea, phone, or Kindle in the process. When Bucky seemed to be satisfied, he headed down into the living room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The tea that his Mam gave them for anxiety wasn't helping much tonight. Maybe he could ask Poppy if she thought it was a good idea to see someone about getting a new prescription for his meds. He didn’t think it was going to last long, this whole episode. It just felt like things were stuck right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus set his tea and Kindle aside, but held on to his phone as he stared up at the ceiling. He thought about texting someone, but it was later. All he wanted to Sirius anyhow, and he’d sort of ruined that earlier when they tried and tried to get close to him. It was a short while later when his phone vibrated in his hand. He was surprised to see that it was Sirius.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Are you sleeping downstairs? X</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>I just didn’t want to keep you awake</b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m awake anyway. Can I come down or do you want to come back up?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>I’ll come up</b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Okay</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I love you xxxx</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus sniffled again, tears streaming down his cheeks still as he took his phone and Kindle back upstairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon enough he was back in their bedroom, and Sirius was lying on their side. Remus set his things down then climbed into bed with them. “I love you too,” he said, his voice cracking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Immediately, Sirius wrapped their arms around him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “I love you, I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” was all he could manage for a moment. He took his glasses off because they were in the way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius plucked his glasses from his fingers and set them on the side, pressing a kiss to his temple, then his forehead. “You don’t ever need to apologise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do because you’ve been trying all afternoon. It’s like bloody -- bloody old times and not in a good way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sometimes, but it’s always worth it.” Sirius’ voice was soft, their lips still against his forehead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus rested his head on their shoulder. “I’ll let you take some of the burden, if you can.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can take it. I’ve been trying to wrestle it off you all day.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shook his head. “You were so upset yesterday, I didn’t want to pressure you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was yesterday. I took the time to feel my feelings, and I’m still really upset, but I know where it’s triggered and what I need to do. Almost like therapy works.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Crazy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Utterly wild.” Sirius kissed his temple again, still holding him tightly. “I know you feel like you have to fix everything right now, but you don’t. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know that, logically. The anxiety brain has overpowered everything.” He sniffled, feeling better the more they talked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know. It does that, the fucking bitch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hate the bastard, so much. I had an anxiety attack earlier.” Remus lifted his head to look at them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius pressed a kiss between his brows. “I thought you might’ve. You get this look in your eyes. Did anything in particular trigger it? Or just everything…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think it was just everything and… I don’t know… I’m repulsed I think because I’ve been thinking about Fenrir.” He cleared his throat after his voice wavered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That makes a lot of sense. Thinking about Bev… how that might’ve been you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, and everyone keeps lumping Bev and fuckface together and it’s -- I know she’s responsible to a point but I can sympathize with her. It hurts that I can because you’ve been so upset.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius bit their lip. “You’re allowed to sympathise with her. I can’t, because of my own bias, but you can, because of yours.” They kissed his forehead again. “Your sympathy and my trauma aren’t one in the same.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your parents -- both of them are shit. Neither of them were any type of victim at all.” He rubbed his hand over his face again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know that. But that doesn’t mean I can sympathise with a mother who let her child be treated like that. But it does mean you can sympathise with a wife in an awful, abusive, coercive relationship.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus looked down, nodding. “It’s not that she didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just -- I don’t know.” He groaned moving so he could lay on his back. Then regretted it because it hurt. “Fuck.” He shifted onto his side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry I shut the car door on you, Remus.” Sirius shifted down next to him, rubbing a hand over his side. “You don’t need to explain how you feel to me. I don’t know that I would understand even if you did, but I accept that you’re feeling them, and I want to help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, I understand you weren’t thinking and I knew it would hurt, I could have moved. I’ve had worse done to me,” He muttered the last sentence. “And I know that you--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t say that, Remus.” Sirius’ face was dark, their lips pressed together. “He might be in prison but I will kill him. Please don’t compare you and I to what he did to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t.” He closed his eyes, feeling even worse now. “Sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius leaned in and kissed the corner of his mouth, very gently. “Apology accepted. Don’t ever think I don’t care about you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you care, but at that moment you weren’t thinking. I could have stopped you before you hit me with the door.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.” Sirius smiled softly. “You could’ve dragged me out the car, I’m sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did.” Remus couldn’t muster a smile back because he couldn’t find much humor in it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius just carried on rubbing their hand over his side. “Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmmhmm.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to try and sleep some?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think I will right now.” He rolled away from Sirius a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. That’s good because I’m not sleepy either.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You really do need to be up early.” Remus checked his phone to look at the time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius tilted their head to look at him, concern pinching their features. “What did I do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus let out a huff. “The smile when you were talking about the car thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh…” They were quiet for a moment. “I was smiling because </span>
  <em>
    <span>of course</span>
  </em>
  <span>, you could’ve pulled me out of the car whenever. You were trying to talk me down but I was being an idiot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know that. Logically.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What did anxiety brain tell you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You said not to compare…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They bit their lip hard but stayed still. “I reminded you of him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Reminded me of something he did.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Remus…” Sirius’ eyes closed for a moment. “I’m so sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I understand what you meant by it.” Remus shook his head. “Please don’t think that you’d hurt me on purpose or whatever.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would never.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius held their hand out for his. “Thank you for telling me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re welcome.” He felt terrible, but Fenrir used to smile after doing something terrible, as if it were no big deal. Not that what Sirius did was intentional or even that bad. It just still hurt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What can I do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right now, I honestly don’t know.” He sniffled, the tears coming back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” Sirius hugged him again. “How about just this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. That’s fine.” He nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too.” Remus closed his eyes. “I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please don’t apologise. I’d rather you be here with me like this than anywhere else.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus put a hand over his eyes. “I know, but I’ve compared you to him twice within a few minutes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If that’s where your brain goes, then we can’t fight it. You’re thinking a lot about him right now. I just need you to tell me if I do something and I don’t know about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you’re not him and you don’t do things that he did to me.” Remus wrapped his arms around them. “It’s been so fucking long, Sirius.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know it has, but that doesn’t mean it still doesn’t hurt sometimes. It’s been so long since I ran away from home, and it still hurts sometimes. Time doesn’t make that much of a difference sometimes.” Sirius hugged him back tightly, pressing their mouth into his hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus sniffled once more. “Right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know it still hurts. I’m so sorry that it does.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry you still hurt too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They pressed another kiss to his hair. “I won’t ever hurt you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you won’t.” Remus leaned into them. “I’m sorry that you reminded me of him like that. I know you didn’t do anything on purpose.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you didn’t purposefully make the association. It’s okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” He swallowed hard. “When you asked me to be Daddy, I felt bad I was having a hard time doing it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because you’re repulsed?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah and I was thinking about Fenrir. You needed me to be your safe space and I wanted to be, but I was having a hard time making myself feel safe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It isn’t just my space though, it’s yours. You forget it’s for you, too.” Sirius swallowed. “But I understand, I think.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know it’s for me too, and that’s why I think I was struggling because I wanted to feel safe too.” Remus played with their hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wonder if there’s something we can do in the future, when you need it, to remind you that being Daddy is safe for you too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you thinking? It’s been so long that I’ve felt hesitation, it was so strange.” He twirled their hair around his finger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know… usually I just brat and force you to Dom me but that feels too… rough for times like this? But if I try asking or offering, you’d probably shoot me down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I tried to shoot you down and I did it anyway. Or tried.” Remus snickered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to coerce you in times like that… unless we’ve explicitly negotiated it’s a time I </span>
  <em>
    <span>can </span>
  </em>
  <span>push because I know you need it.” Sirius gave the softest little sigh, tilting their head to look at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know that, and you needed it and asked today and tried to be sweet about it and I tried but it didn’t work. I think it’s just my headspace, hmm?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that makes sense. It needs to work for you too.” Sirius sniffed a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you crying now?” Remus frowned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They shook their head. “No, just… I don’t know, relieved that we’re talking. Glad I didn’t push wrong or want too much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He put his hands on their cheeks and kissed them softly. “How many times do I have to tell you you always have to push me. I thought you gave up when I went downstairs and we’d just be sort of stuck in this weird no man’s land.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just needed a minute. It’s… it’s hard with remembering everything about my bio parents. I had to remind myself you wanted me to push and dig in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus rested his forehead on theirs. “I love you so much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius sniffled again. “I love you too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll try to let you carry some of the weight. I’ll try to talk more and remember that you’re here to support me even when you’re not feeling so great.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Sirius murmured, looking more than a little relieved. “I’ll try to remember that you need space sometimes, and that otherwise you need me to push.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need the space, but I don’t know when to stop the space needing and when to give in. It’s better to just keep pushing.” He snickered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius smiled, biting their lip. “Okay. I know that, logically. But with everything right now, it was hard to remember.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” Remus kissed them again, lingering for a moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm, I love you,” Sirius mumbled against his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you and I’m so thankful you’re here.” He moved and nuzzled their neck. “You need to actually get some sleep now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius seemed to relax all at once, one arm winding around his shoulders. “Only if you do too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll try.” Remus held them tight, listening to their breathing gradually even out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was going to be okay, he just had to let Sirius take what they could carry.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sirius woke up slowly, and early, like usual. They rolled onto their side and felt Remus next to them, something unwinding in their chest at that. They had classes this morning, and really didn’t want to go. Their first thought was to text Marlene and arrange cover, but they also knew the Ascendance gang were stretched thin already. Part of them </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted</span>
  </em>
  <span> to go to work, too, for a distraction and some kind of outlet, but a good part of them wanted to stay with Remus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm, is it time to get up?” Remus’ voice was all rough with sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius bit their lip, cuddling up against him. “Unfortunately for me. You sleep some more, though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus wrapped his arms around them. “Mmm no.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should, caro,” Sirius murmured, pressing a kiss to his jaw. They definitely didn’t want to leave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, don’t go.” His eyes were still closed, there was a good chance Remus was still sleeping.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius groaned, pressing their face into the crook of his neck. Remus was sleep-talking, and yet he still hit the nail on the head. They didn’t want to go at all. He buried his face in their shoulder, arms tight around their body. They kissed his neck, sighing softly. “I have to get up, caro.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m already tempted to get Marly to cover my classes,” they said, stroking a hand over his back. They wanted to just stay in bed with Remus all morning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus didn’t answer, just snuggled against Sirius. With a chuckle, they felt around for their phone, intending to text Marlene.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How is schedule looking this morning? </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I am dead on my feet and currently have Remus asleep on me</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I know we are super busy rn…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <b>
      <em>HA! Already got you cover, babe </em>
    </b>
    <b>💕 💕 💕 </b>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You are a superstar</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I owe you and adore you</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <span>💖💖💖</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <b>
      <em>How’s Moony?</em>
    </b>
    <b>
      <em>
        <br/>
      </em>
    </b>
    <b>
      <em>How are you?</em>
    </b>
    <b>
      <em>
        <br/>
      </em>
    </b>
    <b>
      <em>I adore you too… and we’ll talk repayment another day</em>
    </b>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m tired. Remus and I had a big talk last night and I think we both feel better for it</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Will let you know about tomorrow later today. I think Remus wants to take the kids to Lily.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <b>
      <em>Don’t worry about tomorrow, relax and take your time</em>
    </b>
    <b>
      <em>
        <br/>
      </em>
    </b>
    <b>
      <em>I’m thinking we should look for some more teachers, you know?</em>
    </b>
    <b>
      <em>
        <br/>
      </em>
    </b>
    <b>
      <em>We’ll chat but I have ideas</em>
    </b>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Perfect. Next week at our meeting</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Love you Marly. Lifesaver xxxx</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <b>
      <em>Hey if you need someone to take the kids for a while so you and Remus and relieve some tension let me know </em>
    </b>
    <span>😉</span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Believe me, you will be the first I talk to</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I am *dying*</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em></em>
  <span>Maybe you can take the kids to Lily later today. Idk, Remus is protective rn. Will talk to him and let you know xx</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <b>
      <em>Okay! Love you and take care of each other, either way!</em>
    </b>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius tossed their phone down and pressed another kiss to Remus’ cheek. “I’m off today.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm, go back to sleep, caro. You must be tired.” Sirius nuzzled closer, tangling their legs. When Remus didn’t reply after a moment, they just smiled and closed their eyes, wondering if they could get a little more sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Apparently they did manage to fall asleep, because they woke up a short time later--it was definitely brighter, but Bucky hadn’t come to wake them up, nor Teddy had thundered down the stairs yet--and they were still tangled up with Remus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Morning,” Remus said around a yawn, not moving.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius kissed his jaw. “Morning caro.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not going to work I take it?” He hummed before kissing their temple.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. I text Marly earlier and she already arranged cover. So I’m with you today.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course she did. Her and Dorky were up to something yesterday.” He shifted a little, groaning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.” Sirius bit their lip. “How is your back?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sore, I think I need to stretch out a bit.” Remus rolled over, reaching for his phone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Probably. Do you want some help?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” He set the phone down. “It’s nearly nine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good. We needed the rest, huh?” Sirius sat up, stretching their arms up over their head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Apparently so.” Remus shuffled to sit up as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, come on, let’s stretch you out.” Sirius got up, stretching onto their toes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, tell me what to do.” He stood up next to them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Knees shoulder width, arms up above your head then fold forward, stomach against your thighs.” Sirius demonstrated, feeling the slight stretch. “Then, if you hold onto your elbows and turn side to side a little, it should stretch along your back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus listened, legs apart then reaching his arms up above his head. He let out a groan as he folded forward and held on to his elbows. “Oh yeah, that’s good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right? Is it in the right place? Or too low?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm, it feels good but a little low.” He let out a soft noise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius straightened up, padding over to Remus and rubbing a hand over his back. “Here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm, yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you bend your knees just a little and put your hands flat on the floor?” Sirius bit their lip, concentrating on finding the sore muscle without hurting any of the bruising.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus nodded before he did so. “Oh, yeah, fuck that feels good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm, good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Christ, it’s so tight.” He let out a long breath through his nose.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>. This was absolutely not the time to get horny. “Yeah,” Sirius said, determined to stay focused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It feels good. Anything else?” Remus’ eyes were closed as he moved slightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where--where else is sore, caro?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The back of my legs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. Sit down? You see me do it a lot, legs out straight, toes up and try to touch them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus sat on the bed. “Here or the floor?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius rubbed a hand over their face, taking a deep breath. “Whichever.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” He shifted onto the bed and did as Sirius suggested. “Yeah, that’s nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good,” Sirius murmured, climbing onto the bed next to him and rubbing a hand over his back again. “Try to relax down instead of leaning forward more.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm, yeah, like this?” He sighed a little. “Keep rubbing right there, feels good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ye--yeah,” Sirius mumbled, breath hitching a little as they closed their eyes. Their mind was readily supplying a million other ways Remus could say those words. God, this was not the time to be thirsty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few seconds later, Teddy burst into the room. “Can I -- OH, ah…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For once, Sirius was relieved Teddy had burst into their bedroom. They chuckled, rolling their eyes. “I’m just helping your dad with those Old Man aches, piccolino. What’s up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was gonna ask if I could make those scones, you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oi! Old Man aches?” Remus sat back up and pinched their thigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius grinned, shifting away from him. “You heard,” they told him, sticking their tongue out, before looking back to Teddy. “Sure you can. You have everything you need for them?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah! Also I kind of wanted to make cupcakes later.” He grinned then bit his lip. “But we need some stuff at the store for that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well maybe we can go later. We’ll talk about it at breakfast?” Sirius smiled at their child. “Hey, pronouns today, kiddo?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He/him.” He nodded, looking thoughtful. “Pada, weren’t you meant to go to the studio?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was, but Auntie Marly got cover for me, because I’d rather spend some time with the people most important to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so cheesy.” Teddy snorted a laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They really are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius rolled their eyes. “Oi, you both love cheesy, don’t lie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, we’re mean and cold, right annwyl.” Remus chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Pada, we’re mean.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure you are.” Sirius flopped back onto the bed. “Go make scones, piccolino. Shout if you set something on fire, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah! Thanks!” Teddy took off out the door, shutting it behind him before they heard him running down the stairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius snickered, rolling over to look at Remus. “Your back feeling better?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, thanks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you feeling?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Better after we talked last night.” Remus sat up a little straighter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They nodded, feeling a little relieved. “Good, I’m glad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I slept. So that’s good. I feel better too. Less worried about you. Still not… I don’t know, still don’t quite feel settled, but better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s good, I’m glad you’re feeling a bit better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius let out a sigh. “Part of me wants to stay in bed all day, and that never happens.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you and Ted have a day, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I think we will.” Sirius swallowed. “Marly offered to take the kids, either to see Lily or just, for us to have a break, but I said I’d ask you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know.” Remus frowned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know. We don’t have to decide now. Or like, for the next few days I suppose.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, we’ll see.” He got out of bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius bit their lip, hoping they hadn’t said the wrong thing again. “I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too.” Remus headed towards the bathroom, pausing. “What is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t say the wrong thing bringing up Marly wanting to take the kids?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha, no, I really have to use the bathroom.” Remus shook his head. “You haven’t done a thing wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha, okay, okay.” Sirius smiled, shaking their head a little as they flopped back into bed, still so tired.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Remus wanted another scone, but decided against it because Teddy was planning on making cupcakes later. His son was so talented at baking and cooking, even if he complained about chemistry all the time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, so… what are we doing today?” Teddy pulled his legs up onto his chair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, Jordan and I need to go see Auntie Lily.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep. Teddy, do you wanna stay in and bake? I could do with an admin day but we can hang out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Could you two head to the store first because we are desperate to get some stuff for the cabinets.” Remus looked between them. He was hoping Teddy and Sirius would spend the day together, but if Sirius needed to do admin that was okay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure sure, we’ll go on an adventure, huh piccolino?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that’s good.” Teddy agreed with Sirius.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do I need to bring anything to Mrs. Potter’s?” Jordan asked Remus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I don’t think so. I’m sure she’ll make us something good to eat and tell you to call her Lily.” He smiled at the teen. It was hard to comprehend how he was feeling about making these choices.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, she definitely will. You’ll have a great time.” Sirius smiled at him too, before looking to Remus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I say we get ourselves together and get going.” He smiled before standing up and kissing Sirius on the forehead. “Jordan, how long do you need to get ready? I can be ready whenever.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh… give me ten minutes?” Jordan pulled a face and stood up, straightening his shirt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, kid, no rush.” Remus ruffled Teddy’s hair. “You have fun with Pada and make a lot of good food.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dad!” He complained, rubbing his hair back into place. “We will… Will Jordan be okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, he will be. Don’t worry, okay. I’ll make sure that he’s getting what he needs.” He hugged Teddy tight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” he mumbled, hugging Remus back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to go get changed. Teddy, clean up all right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy nodded. “Yes Dad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius pushed their chair back, smiling fondly at them both. “Let’s both muck in and we’ll get it done in record time, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I bet we can do it before Dad comes down.” Teddy stood up after Remus let go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus snickered as he headed for the stairs. They were both so competitive that they could turn doing the washing up into a game of sorts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he got changed, Remus thought about the last few days. He could tell that Sirius was doing better, and he wanted to keep anything about what Jordan needed to choose out of the house. Of course Teddy was curious about what his boyfriend was going to do, but Remus thought maybe when it was figured out he could take the two out for lunch or something to have the discussion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He also hoped that Sirius would discuss things with Teddy, about how he didn’t want to talk about what Jordan was going through. It wasn’t Remus’ place to tell Teddy these things. At the same time, he was concerned about Sirius bringing it up since they were feeling better now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had a good talk the night before, even if Remus had tried to avoid it most of the night. He worried so much about putting things on them, but being closed off probably made things worse. Granted, Remus still didn’t want to spill everything at once on them, but he could give them some of the weight to carry. He felt a little bad for turning down the idea of Marly and Dorky taking the kids for the night, but he didn’t feel ready for that. He wanted everyone close.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Back down in the kitchen, he found it empty and clean. Sirius was sat at the table with their glasses </span>
  <em>
    <span>next</span>
  </em>
  <span> to them as they were working on their laptop. He huffed, taking a seat with Sirius. “Put them </span>
  <em>
    <span>on</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius glanced up, frowning for a moment before they realised. “I don’t need them right now,” they said, sitting back in their seat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re looking at your screen… reading.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They groaned, rubbing their hands over their face before picking up their glasses and putting them on. “Better?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, you look so good in them.” Remus reached out and squeezed their wrist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius looked at him for a moment, apparently surprised by the compliment. They nudged their glasses back up onto their nose--they were cat-eye shaped, mostly translucent, with tortoiseshell accents, and completely Sirius--and smiled, looking almost </span>
  <em>
    <span>shy</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re not like James’ ugly ones that are so outdated.” He chuckled, putting his own on in solidarity with Sirius. They both got glasses on the same day. Remus didn’t mind much but Sirius </span>
  <em>
    <span>hated</span>
  </em>
  <span> them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha, James operates entirely on nostalgia.” Sirius smiled, reaching out and tapping the bridge of his nose. “Yours make you look even more handsome.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah? Goes with the salt and pepper hair, hmm?” He snickered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius chuckled, rolling their eyes. “It does, makes you look very distinguished and knowledgeable, very handsome.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.” He kissed their cheek. “What are you and Teddy going to do while Jordan and I are gone?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll probably take our time at the store, then bake some, most likely. Maybe we’ll go upstairs and dance a little. Basically just want to hang out with my kid all day, you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, well, have a nice day together. Don’t get sucked into admin all day.” Remus nudged their calf with his toes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha. I won’t, I won’t.” Sirius smiled, nudging him back. “I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love you too.” He smiled as Jordan and Teddy came out into the kitchen. “Ready, kid?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jordan nodded. He glanced to Teddy, hugging him briefly before stepping back again. “Yep, ready.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, let’s go.” Remus pointed towards the door before giving Teddy a big squeeze and a kiss on the top of his head. “Have fun with Pada.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy grinned, hugging him back. “We will.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good, and make sure they wear their glasses when reading.” He snickered before going to kiss Sirius goodbye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius grinned into the kiss, nipping just slightly at his bottom lip. “Cheeky.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gross.” Teddy made a noise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus straightened up, rolling his eyes. “I’ll text you later.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright.” Sirius looked to Teddy. “You ready to go to the store?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He headed out with Jordan, hoping the end of the day would be better than the last few.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The drive to the Potter’s was quiet, well minus the fact they were playing Jordan’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>classic punk playlist</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Neither of them spoke though, not until they parked in front of Lily and James’ place. He looked over at Jordan, trying to give him a reassuring smile. “Okay, whatever Lily has, we don’t have to make a choice just yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jordan nodded, fiddling with the cuff of his hoodie. “Right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can talk it all out later and I’ll take notes.” He laughed, trying to be a little lighter than usual.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha, Teddy says you took notes when he was born, too.” Jordan smiled for a moment before it faded a little and they took a deep breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did and then left the notebook at home in the panic of his birth,” Remus explained once they got out of the car. “I won’t forget this one.” He held up his small notebook.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jordan chuckled. “Thank you, for all your help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not a problem, Jordan.” He patted his shoulder as Lily opened the door. “Hey Lils!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi! Come in you guys! There’s tea on already! James has got the patio doors open.” Lily gave Remus a tight hug when he came to the door, and embraced Jordan briefly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great.” He walked in. “He here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep! He’s relocated his office to the garden for the day.” Lily rolled her eyes, chuckling. James had climbed the ladder of the business over the years--Remus was pretty sure it was finance, but he never talked much of it outside work--and was more than a little successful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha, of course he has.” Remus walked towards the garden. “POTTER!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a clatter then James appeared in the doorway with his arms up, grinning ear to ear. “Moony! Oi oi! How are we?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I’m all right.” He went to hug James as Jordan was pulled to the kitchen with Lily. “How’s work?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good, good! Busy as ever. Got a batch of new line managers promoted, so we’re--ah, boring stuff.” James clapped him on the shoulder. “Going good,” he said, before looking at Remus as if he were trying to read his mind. “How are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds boring.” He shook his head. “I’m all right, Sirius and I had a nice conversation last night. I think things are looking up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” James looked relieved, the line between his eyebrows smoothing a little. “Really glad to hear it, Moony.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. I’m glad too. They’re taking a step back from this.” He waved towards the kitchen. “That’s okay. I should get to business and you should work.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that works out well. Keep yourself right, yeah?” James clapped him on the shoulder again before heading back to his laptop, set up on the table, with a parasol and a jug of something fancy looking as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shook his head before going off to find Jordan and Lily in the kitchen. They were at the table, where Lily had cleared a space and had some papers in front of her. She and Jordan were talking quite quietly, but she looked up and gave Remus a warm smile when he walked in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, so, what’s it look like Lily.” Remus took a seat next to Jordan, setting his notebook down.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sirius watched as Teddy cleaned up after making cupcakes. He was such a good kid and Sirius felt so proud it hurt sometimes. They were waiting for the cakes to cool, apparently, before Teddy iced them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to do pride flag icing. The enby flag, fluid, bi, pan. What do you think Pada?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius grinned. “I think that sounds great.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What should we do while we wait?” Teddy asked them. “Maybe Jordan will be back in time to ice them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, we can wait for them, if you like.” Sirius glanced out the window, then to their laptop before shutting it. “It’s nice out, why don’t we go sit in the garden?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure.” Teddy nodded, biting his lip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And my laptop is gonna stay in here.” Sirius grinned, standing up. “How about a drink too? There’s soda in the fridge, I think.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good, Dad said not to be on it all day.” Teddy teased. “And yeah, let’s have soda.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, you are so cheeky. Almost as bad as your Dad.” Sirius ruffled his hair, pausing at the fridge to grab two cans before heading outside and to the loungers. Bucky raced out after them and began tearing around the garden.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dad’s gonna kill Bucky if he digs something up again.” Teddy took one of the sodas.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius laughed, whistling for Bucky. “Oi Bucks, leave it!” They watched as Bucky looked up from the flowerbed, apparently caught red-handed. “He’s a riot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy grinned before taking a sip as Bucky trotted over to him. “I’m not gonna save you, bud.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius grinned, patting Bucky. “I dunno, I wouldn’t put it past you, Ted. You two were in cahoots when you were younger. Nearly as bad as you and Snuffs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aww, Snuffs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He was such a great dog,” Sirius said, thinking of the photos along the hallway of Sirius, Remus and Snuffles from their twenties.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Teddy put his arms around Bucky when he climbed up onto the lounger with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius took a drink of their soda, looking at Teddy. “How are you feeling, piccolino? About everything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Better, I think. Hanging out with everyone the other day helped because, like, I know there are good people who love me.” He looked down at Bucky.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Sirius said, leaning over to pat his knee. “You have so many good people who love you, Teddy.” They couldn’t help thinking how similar they were, Sirius needed reminding of that too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay, Pada?” Teddy frowned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am.” Sirius took a breath. “I’m sure you’ve noticed I’ve not been doing great recently, and Dad said you and he talked about how what Jordan is going through right now is reminding me of my bio parents.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” He furrowed his brow, shifting in his seat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not a nice thing for me to remember, so that’s why your Dad is helping Jordan out the most. It’s not because I don’t care about him, but because your Dad is better equipped to help him than I am.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, I understand, Pada.” He nodded. “Is… is Dad okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He will be. When we were younger, he struggled a bit with anxiety, and he’s been better recently, but this is reminding him of some things too. Remember he talked about that bad relationship? He’s thinking about that a bit.” Sirius squeezed their hand on his knee. “But we’re both okay, and we love you very much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All right, I know you do. I didn’t think this would be so… I don’t know, heavy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius chuckled. “Neither did we, sweetheart.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hope Jordan’s okay.” Teddy buried his face in Bucky for a moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius leaned over and hugged him hard. “He’s okay. He’ll be okay, we’ll make sure of it, all of us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We will.” Teddy hugged them back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shall I call or text Dad, see how they’re doing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, please.” Teddy nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius pulled their phone out, keeping one arm around Teddy as they text Remus.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hey caro</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>How are you getting on?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>We’re good</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <b>Leaving now, actually</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <b>Did you have a nice time with Teddy?</b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ah, my timing is epic, as always</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>We had a great time. Teddy is making pride flag cupcakes, and wants to ice them with Jordan when you are home. Right now we’re out in the sun with Bucky</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>Jordan is excited for that.</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <b>Keep the mutt out of my garden</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius laughed, looking up from their phone. “You’re right, Dad said </span>
  <em>
    <span>keep the mutt out of my garden</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And Jordan is really excited for cupcakes. They’ll be home soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good.” Teddy hugged Bucky. “Can I…”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Roger that caro</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Love you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius looked up at Teddy as he trailed off. “What’s up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Love you too</b>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, I worry about Jordan liking me more one way or the other… like more femme over masc or vice versa?” Teddy tilted his head in thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius bit their lip, remembering all of those feelings too. “I used to worry about that a lot too. Do you think he acts differently towards you when you present one way or the other?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think so?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think so either,” Sirius agreed. “And I’ve been used to looking for that transphobe bullshit for thirty years. I don’t think Jordan feels that way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. I don’t want to ask him because I don’t think he does, I just worry about it.” Teddy bit his lip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s valid to worry about. Maybe you can talk to Jordan about it at some point, and he can assuage some fears.” Sirius kissed his temple. “You deserve love no matter how you present, Teddy. I think Jordan gives you that, and even if he doesn’t, you will find someone who does.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I think he does. I’ll talk to him, maybe when he’s feeling a little better?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think that’s a good idea. If he knows your… insecurities, he can help stop them. I have the same things with your Dad, you know? And if we talk about them, we know and we can help each other, even if talking is scary a lot of the time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Teddy put his head on their shoulder. “I really like Jordan. A lot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius bit their lip, hugging him tightly. “It’s exciting, isn’t it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. I like… I kind of think I love him? But…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But?” Sirius tilted their head a little to look at him, their heart bursting with love, pride and excitement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, is it love? I don’t know what it’s meant to feel like?” Teddy bit his lip again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know either, really. I can’t put words on it. But… Grandma Effy used to say it made people stupid. You went daft, thinking about the person all the time. When I met your Dad, I wanted to spend all my time with him, I would think about him when I saw something I thought he’d like on Instagram, or things like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Dad said you both were really stupid when you met.” He chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius rolled their eyes. “We were very, very stupid. But now we’re here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy smiled. “I want to spend all my time with Jordan… and I think about him all the time and send him stupid stuff that makes me think of him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That sounds wonderful.” Sirius hugged him tighter. God, their </span>
  <em>
    <span>baby</span>
  </em>
  <span> was in love.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“At the same time, I’m like… can you actually be in love at 16?” Teddy furrowed his brow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius was quiet for a moment, biting their lip. They didn’t want to just brush Teddy off, but they weren’t going to belittle his feelings either. “If you feel like you are, if you feel like your insides go all fluttery and you care for him very deeply, then who’s to say you aren’t? If you want to call it love--because why the hell should anyone else decide if it is or not--then you can.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Teddy grinned. “Thanks, Pada… don’t tell Dad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius chuckled. “I won’t. And you’re always welcome. I’m so proud of you for coming to me when you have questions.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A moment later Bucky perked up and Sirius could hear Remus’ voice in the house. Sirius gave Teddy’s shoulders one more squeeze. “Guess who’s home. Shall we go say hi?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah!” Teddy got off the lounger, darting inside with Bucky right on his heels.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius chuckled, following him a little slower. They needed a minute to collect themselves after an unexpectedly deep conversation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they got into the kitchen Teddy was hugging Remus and babbling on about what he and Sirius had done while they were out. Jordan was looking at the unfrosted cupcakes, appearing a little worn out but not too upset. Sirius went to Jordan and patted him on the shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey kiddo. If you want to go lay down for a half hour, I reckon I can keep Teddy away from the cupcakes.” They smiled slightly. “Doing alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m all right, I’m not really tired. Frosting cupcakes sounds better than trying to nap.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure, Jor?” Teddy came over and hugged him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius ruffled Teddy’s hair, giving him a secret smile as they stepped past to greet Remus. They were still feeling sort of drained themselves, and Remus had a unique way of making them feel better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you avoid doing admin all day?” Remus kissed them on the cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did!” Sirius hugged him tightly, kissing his cheek. “I did some, but then helped Teddy with cupcakes, and we sat outside and had a heart to heart.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, a heart to heart, huh?” Remus peered behind them to the boys.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep. A Pada-Teddy heart to heart of which I am sworn to secrecy. It was good, though. Talked about how I’m taking a backseat helping Jordan out, and then a bit about gender and relationships.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s good, you’re so good.” He kissed them once more. “Do you need help or can I go check the garden to make sure Bucky didn’t trample anything?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius snickered. “You can go check the garden.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All right.” He laughed before going towards the sunroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius watched him for a moment before turning back to the teens. “Okay, are we icing cupcakes, then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Pada</span>
  </em>
  <span>, I kind of wanted to just do it with Jordan.” He pouted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius grinned, shaking their head. “Fine, I’m gonna go sit down then. Just don’t burn the kitchen down, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re making icing, Pada.” Teddy rolled his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You never know, piccolino. Not when you’ve been around Uncle Reggie for this long.” Sirius chuckled, heading into the living room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Funny!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m very glad you appreciate my humor, child!” Sirius called back, flopping onto the sofa and smiling to themselves. Everything was starting to feel better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not long after, Remus came into the living room and seemed to be licking frosting off of one of his fingers. Sirius bit their lip, watching him for a moment. Fuck, why were they so horny today? They cleared their throat and sat up a little. “Garden safe?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Bucky is spared.” He sat next to them on the sofa.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm good. He did make a go for the flowerbeds but I called him off.” Sirius leaned in and kissed his cheek. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My hero.” Remus sighed, winding an arm around their middle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The kids haven’t burnt the kitchen down?” Sirius spoke between leaving little kisses on Remus’ jawline. They couldn’t help themselves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughed and shook his head. “No, they’re fine. Teddy’s got this weird look on his face.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Probably just thinking about what he and I talked about. He said he was very happy with Jordan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus raised an eyebrow. “Oh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius looked at him for a moment before laughing. “Yes, he is having a very good time being sixteen and getting his first boyfriend. And for the record, we have talked about sex, and he said he did not feel ready.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was that today? I thought that was the other day. It could have changed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In like three days?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know! I change my interest within a day sometimes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, and you are a forty-four year old man who has been in a relationship for nearly twenty years. Teddy is sixteen. I trust him and his own judgement.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, okay.” Remus settled back down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius kissed his cheek. “It’s fine, caro. Everything is okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did your day go okay?” Sirius rested their head on his shoulder, stroking a hand through his hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah it went fine. I made fun of James working on his laptop in the garden.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“God, he’s such a business exec.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus snickered. “I still don’t get how he finds it interesting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have no idea. I hate doing admin and numbers so much I save it all up every quarter and then want to beat my head on my laptop. James loves it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hired someone to do my admin I hate it so much.” Remus shook his head as Teddy and Jordan came out holding two cupcakes. “Ah, can I finally have one now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you have to beat him away from them?” Sirius chuckled, holding their hand out as Jordan passed them one cupcake, it had the genderfluid flag in icing. “They look amazing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re not done but I knew I had to appease Dad.” Teddy gave Remus a bi frosted cupcake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius grinned, giving Remus a smile. “Good job, kid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks!” Teddy grabbed Jordan’s hand and pulled him back towards the kitchen. “Come on Jordan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus was already biting into his cupcake. Sirius snickered, watching him for a moment before biting into their own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm, s’good Teddy!” Sirius called back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmmm.” Remus agreed with a mouthful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius savoured theirs distinctly more than Remus did, licking the icing off like they used to as a kid before eating the cupcake. When they glanced up next, Remus had already polished off his. He was reaching for the remote as he licked a bit of icing from his finger. Sirius bit their lip. Christ, almost twenty years and Remus still managed to just turn them on with the smallest thing. They shifted in their seat, not wanting to make him uncomfortable because they knew he was still repulsed, but happy enough to drink in the sight of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You all right?” Remus asked after turning on the show he had been attempting to watch the day before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius swallowed. “Yeah, fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All right.” He made a face, snuggling up against Sirius as the show started.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?” Sirius mumbled, closing their eyes and turning to press a kiss to his hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? I can’t snuggle my spouse?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You made a face, I thought.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Chapter 22</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Remus looked up at Sirius, confused. “I made a face because you looked a little… I don’t know, not stressed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius sighed, glancing back to the television for a moment. “Not stressed. More like horny,” they said softly, looking to him, then back at the screen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, I see.” He kissed their cheek. “Do you need to go upstairs?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah,” they murmured, leaning into him. “I’m not bothered unless you’re interested. And I don’t say that to make you feel guilty or urge you into something. Just… it’s you I’m horny for, as usual.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” Remus cuddled a bit closer, not very interested in sex at all. “You’re not making me feel guilty.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good.” Sirius kissed his temple, hugging him tightly. “I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you.” He smiled to himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus was tired from all that had been discussed with Jordan. They had it narrowed down to a few options that Jordan was going to think over. Lily told him to text or call her whenever he had any questions, and Remus assured him not to rush through it all. It was something he wanted to talk about with Sirius, but he understood they just couldn’t. At least he had Lily to talk to about it all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad today went well,” Sirius said quietly, pressing another kiss to his hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too. Jordan is less worried, I think.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you and Teddy get the shopping done?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep. Got everything we needed. We went through the kitchen first to see what we needed, did a big shop, you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So smart.” Remus reached for the fuzzy blanket.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius smiled, making a soft noise into Remus’ hair where they were nuzzled. He put the blanket over them both, wondering if he could fit a nap in. It was doubtful because the boys were in the kitchen being loud. Not that he was going to complain because he was happy the two were so happy. Sirius kept one hand stroking through Remus’ hair, their breathing soft and even, not quite asleep but relaxed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to go into work tomorrow morning to do some receiving stuff and talk with the staff, but maybe in the afternoon the four of us could do something fun?” Remus asked softly, in case they had fallen asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm, that sounds nice,” Sirius mumbled, kissing his temple.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus smiled then yawned. “Not laser tag.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just because you don’t like losing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I don’t want to deal with two demons.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Also fair, I guess.” Sirius kissed his hair again, shifting down the sofa.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus snickered before shifting to rest his head onto their lap. “And to spare Jordan. The poor kid got enough at mini golf.” He smiled, thinking about how the teen took it in stride though.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sooner or later, he’ll have to find out.” Sirius chuckled, their hand still in his hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He already has I think.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And he’s stuck around. He’s a good kid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus smiled and nodded in agreement. “I like him a lot. As long as he’s not trying to have sex with my son.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius snorted. “Of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Though if Teddy is anything like his Pada…” Remus let out a low chuckle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How very dare you,” Sirius said, shifting a little. “We just know what we want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know.” Remus pressed a kiss to their knee over their workout leggings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius made a little noise, their fingers still in his hair. “You know me well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded, closing his eyes. “That feels good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm I’m glad.” Sirius scratched lightly at his scalp, their voice soft.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus slipped into a nap, not meaning to but Sirius’ fingers felt so nice in his hair. When he woke up he found the show had been paused. That was nice because he had been trying to watch the thing for two days now. Rubbing his eyes, he slowly sat up with a groan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius was sat up, their hand only falling from Remus’ hair now he had sat up too. They gave him a very relaxed smile. “Hi sleeping beauty.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha, hello.” He rubbed his eyes. “Did you nap too?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dozed a little. I’m glad you slept though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s good.” He yawned, trying to shake the sleepiness. The kitchen sounded quiet now. “Teddy and Jordan finish up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhmm. Cupcakes are on the side, out of dog reach. They’re taking Bucky on a walk now, Jordan’s on his skateboard.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, good.” He stood up, needing to stretch out a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius stayed on the sofa but stretched their legs out. They had probably been trapped under Remus for a while. “You alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, just stiff from being curled up in one position.” He did the stretch that Sirius had first shown him this morning. After a moment he felt Sirius’ hand on his back again, rubbing at the same place. “God that’s perfect.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius chuckled. “Almost like I’m good at my job.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow, almost, huh?” Remus deepened the stretch before straightening up and sitting back down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhmm. Better?” Sirius put their arm around his shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, much.” He kissed them on the lips softly. Sirius grinned into the kiss, resting their forehead against his. “Have we thought about dinner? It’s early still, but did you have plans?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius shrugged. “I haven’t, but I’m sure Teddy has opinions.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Little chef.” He pressed a kiss to their cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So proud of him.” Sirius sat back, smiling. “Proud of all of us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too.” Remus grinned before pausing. He was so curious about the conversation that Sirius had with Teddy. “So, you’re really not going to tell me what you two had talked about earlier?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nope,” Sirius said, popping the p. “He swore me to secrecy. But it was all positive and nothing for you to worry about.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All right.” He shifted a little, feeling kind of sad that he was being kept out of something, but he could understand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was just gender talk, okay?” Sirius leaned in and kissed the corner of his mouth. “I promise that if it were important I would tell you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” Remus brushed a hand through their hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius leaned into the touch, smiling softly. “Can I ask something? And if the answer is no, it’s okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.” Remus frowned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Could you look after me a little tonight?” Sirius’ eyes were closed, biting their lip. “Nothing sexual, obviously.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He cleared his throat, not really sure if he wanted to. “Why are your eyes closed?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your hand in my hair is nice, and I’m… nervous to ask you, because I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want you to be nervous to ask me this stuff. It’s not something I don’t want you to shy away from.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t really want to, but we can see later.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius nodded, biting their lip. “Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not a no.” Remus continued to stroke their hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, it’s okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All right, and it’s okay that you asked, love.” He kissed them on the forehead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius leaned into him. “Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus felt bad because he wanted to take care of Sirius, but he just didn’t feel comfortable about it. “When did the teens go out?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm, about twenty minutes ago?” Sirius hummed, turning to press a kiss to his wrist before sitting back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All right.” He checked his phone. “Are you all right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m okay. I might go and take a shower, if that’s alright with you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Want me to come up with you?” Remus asked, concerned that they were feeling a little neglected right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius paused, looking thoughtful. “If you like. I don’t mind, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded. “I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too.” They leaned in and pecked a kiss to his lips before standing up. They stretched a little before looking back to him. “I won’t be long.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All right.” Remus watched them head to the stairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he heard their door close he sank into the sofa with a groan. He needed to try to be Daddy tonight because he probably needed it too. The only thing was that if they started and Remus decided to stop, it’d probably make Sirius feel worse. It had been a long time since they had problems with the dynamic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before Sirius came back down, Teddy and Jordan came home with Bucky. Remus smiled when he saw them but then he noticed the hickey on Teddy’s neck. “Ah, hi you two.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi Dad!” Teddy grinned. “Good nap?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, nice… walk?” He huffed as Bucky came up and put his big body on top of Remus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah! We went to the park. Got ice cream.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s fun.” He scratched behind Bucky’s ears. “Have you worked on that maths at all?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy grimaced. “A bit?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think that’s none.” Jordan was blushing as he went towards the sunroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, ha! Your boyfriend ratted you out.” Remus pointed at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jor!” Teddy grumbled, crossing his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maths or we could sit here and talk about that hickey.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy’s eyes went wide as he stared at Remus for a second. “I’ll do maths!” They yelped, running off up the stairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughed to himself, patting Bucky. “I guess that’s one way to get him to do his schoolwork, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bucky answered by licking Remus on the cheek, woofing softly.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Chapter 23</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sirius hummed to themselves as they put away the last few clean dishes after dinner. They were feeling a lot better after their long shower that afternoon, but still had a sort of unseated feeling they couldn’t really shake. It was getting better, though, so they just needed to give it time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t like any of this was </span>
  <em>
    <span>new.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Sirius and Remus had had problems in their dynamic in the past, but they were usually easy to work past and never felt so fundamental. Sirius imagined it was a combination of Remus feeling repulsed, Fenrir rearing his ugly head, and Sirius’ bio parents being brought up in such a big way. Still, it couldn’t be helped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sound of the Billie Holiday record from the living room finished into white noise just as Sirius set the dishwasher running. The way their lives had gone would never cease to surprise Sirius. Trying to tell twenty-four year old Sirius this was where they would end up in twenty years would’ve been laughable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sound of Remus humming came closer after the white noise stopped. “All set?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep.” Sirius turned to see him in the doorway and smiled at him. “The kitchen is no longer a biohazard.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank goodness. Teddy has gone upstairs, claiming he was going to read. I think he’s really calling Ro and getting some witchy thing done.” Remus snorted a laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius snickered, wondering if Teddy was consulting Oracle Ro about their conversation earlier. “Most likely.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jordan is really sleeping. I went to throw those towels in the laundry room and could hear him in there snoring away. I guess he was tired.” Remus leaned against the doorway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was going to say. I bet he’s exhausted.” Sirius hung up the towel and padded over to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, probably from giving your son those hickeys.” Remus scoffed. “Come on, let's go up to our room. We can watch something on my laptop.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius chuckled. “Ah so you did notice them,” they said, hitting the lights. They were trying not to think about their discussion earlier, because Remus had said he didn’t think he would be comfortable. “That sounds wonderful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think they’re in the shape of a </span>
  <em>
    <span>heart</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but I can’t see past the neckline on his shirt, which I’m very happy for.” Remus shook his head as they started for the stairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now </span>
  <em>
    <span>that’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> romance,” Sirius said, flashing him a grin over their shoulder as they climbed the stairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus snorted and shook his head. “Sure it is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aren’t you the authority on romance, my Austen heroine?” Sirius turned on the bedroom lights as they went through.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, and I’m not sure heart shaped hickeys are peak romance.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius sat on the end of the bed, tilting their head a little to look at him. “I beg to differ, but I think that’s just me. You know how I like them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.” He opened up his drawer. Sirius watched him for a moment before beginning to get changed into their pyjamas. “I got him to do his maths mentioning the hickeys.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course you did. You’re smart like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m the mean parent.” He pulled on an old shirt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sometimes. I’d say we share the meanness often enough.” Sirius pulled on their Ascendance shirt before taking their hair up into a bun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you say.” He went for his laptop once he pulled on his bottoms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius shifted up to the top of the bed, tucking their feet under the covers. “What shall we watch?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you feeling like? I’ll probably fall asleep halfway through since I have to be up early.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, yeah of course.” Sirius bit their lip, pulling the covers back so he could get in. “I don’t mind, you pick.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” Remus opened his laptop, setting it between them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius snuggled down and curled up on their side facing Remus. It had been a long day and they felt so much better in so many ways. Everything would be okay, wouldn’t it?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you going to stay awake for this?” He chuckled before picking 500 Days of Summer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They smiled up at him, rolling their eyes. “Yes, I will definitely stay awake longer than you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you will.” He shifted to get under the covers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Always.” Sirius smiled, leaning over. “I’ll say goodnight now before either of us doze off.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All right.” He kissed them quickly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius kissed back, pressing another kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Goodnight caro. I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius shifted back down, setting their head on their arm to watch the movie half-heartedly. They were almost starting to get annoyed with </span>
  <em>
    <span>themselves</span>
  </em>
  <span>, with how they apparently couldn’t get their mind off of the single track it had been on all day. But it wasn’t even just that, was it? Sirius felt like they were asking for a big helping of affection and getting denied. But they couldn’t well force Remus into something, so they would just manage.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a short sigh, Sirius grabbed their phone, still watching the movie too.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m good to come into the studio tomorrow</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Today go well?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <em>
      <b>It went fine. Stay home, Sirius. We’re good. I got it covered.</b>
    </em>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Nah</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m just gonna end up sitting at home. Remus is in Recovery in the am, and the kids will get bored with me flittering around them</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <b>
      <em>Okay, if you say so</em>
    </b>
    <b>
      <em>
        <br/>
      </em>
    </b>
    <b>
      <em>How was your day?</em>
    </b>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Good. Teddy baked cupcakes and we had a big heart to heart. He seems really happy right now, despite the bullshit</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <b>
      <em>That’s good. He’s the best kid.</em>
    </b>
    <b>
      <em>
        <br/>
      </em>
    </b>
    <b>
      <em>Thought you’d drop him off today.</em>
    </b>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who you texting?” Remus asked, looking over at them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius was a little surprised he was still awake, but they smiled warmly at him. “Just Marly. Checking in with her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shit, I never said. Remus didn’t want to. Sorry Marly x</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” He leaned over and pressed a kiss to their forehead. Sirius closed their eyes, savouring it for a moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay. Go to sleep caro. You’re up early,” Sirius said, before glancing back to their phone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <b>
      <em>That’s okay. You all right?</em>
    </b>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>🤷‍♀️ </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fine, I guess?</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Feel strange and can’t shake it, but I’m fine.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“All right.” Remus nodded before laying back down. Sirius glanced over, wondering if they should’ve leaned into that kiss more, if that was Remus reaching out. They bit their lip, trying to will themselves to be tired.</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <b>
      <em>Did you tell Remus you needed to be taken care of?</em>
    </b>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Yep. And he said he didn’t feel comfortable with that…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <b>
      <em>Oh, even being Daddy? I’m sorry.</em>
    </b>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Yeah. I said nothing sexual, just cuddle and pet my hair… I don’t know. I keep thinking he’s trying but then I don’t want to push and coerce him</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <b>
      <em>Understandable</em>
    </b>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius sighed, looking over at Remus again. Maybe they could just cuddle against him. They glanced back to their phone. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Gonna try and cuddle up. Wish me luck x</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>They set their phone down before Marlene replied, shifting over and cuddling up to Remus’ side. Not too close, but close enough to press their face against his arm. His eyes were closed and breathing even, but he seemed to move closer to them on instinct. Sirius kissed the top of his shoulder, slinging an arm around his waist. He might’ve been sleeping but they could still cuddle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus muttered something unintelligible before shifting a little. Sirius glanced at his face, trying to work out if it was a good or bad mutter. They could usually tell, as much as they adored Remus’ sleep-chatter. “Mhmm, I agree,” they whispered, closing their eyes and pressing their forehead against his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay baby.” He rolled away, letting out a snore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius couldn’t help a little snicker of laughter, pressing their face into their pillow. Okay, they had to try and sleep just a little. Remus was fast asleep after all, and they at least hoped he was dreaming something pleasant, hoping it was them he was calling baby.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just as they were settling down Remus sat up straight. “Christ.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh fuck,” Sirius mumbled, sitting up too. “You okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I had one of those dreams that you’re falling. Fucking hell.” He reached for his laptop. “Oh, I thought I’ve been sleeping for </span>
  <em>
    <span>hours</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius smiled, sinking back into the pillows. “Nope, like… ten or fifteen minutes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, god. Are you still watching this or do you want me to shut it off?” He gestured to the screen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, you can shut it off.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus nodded, setting it aside before burrowing back down into the covers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius watched him for a moment. “Can I come cuddle?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.” He frowned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They immediately cuddled close to him, their arm around his waist and face against his arm. One of Remus’ arms went around their waist and the other went into their hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It's always okay to cuddle.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Sirius hummed, their eyes closing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you more than anything.” Remus pressed a kiss to the top of their head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm, I love you too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His fingers combed through their hair, trailing over their scalp. “Are you feeling okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius nodded. “Mhmm. Are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, wide awake now after my stupid fifteen minutes of sleep.” Remus scoffed, pressing another kiss to their temple.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh I’m sorry,” Sirius said, pouting a little. “Did you at least dream anything nice?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t remember.” He laughed. “Just the falling bit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s the worst. You were sleep chattering again, at least you sounded content.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What I say this time?” Remus asked them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius bit their lip, staying tucked against his side with their eyes closed. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Okay baby.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, must have been dreaming about you then.” He pressed another kiss to the top of their head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” Sirius smiled, kissing his shoulder. “I hope it was nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure it was, baby.” Remus held them tight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They paused just for a split second, feeling a little something untwist in their chest. “Mm, good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Want me to braid your hair, princess?” Remus rubbed their back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not too tired?” Sirius bit their lip, Remus’ voice saying </span>
  <em>
    <span>princess</span>
  </em>
  <span> echoing in their head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I’ll sleep afterwards.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Sirius murmured. “Yes please, then…”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Chapter 24</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Remus tied off Sirius’ braid with the hair tie they had used for their bun. It did feel good to take care of them, he just wished he could do more. “Okay, you’re all set.” He pressed a kiss to the back of their neck. “You look very pretty, princess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius made a soft noise, leaning back into him just slightly. “Thank you, Daddy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wrapped his arms around them and held them tight against him. “I’m so proud of you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm, thank you.” Sirius seemed to sink into him even more, one hand going to his arm around their middle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What else do you need?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just this. Cuddles and talk? Just for a minute?” They rubbed their hand over his arm. “What are you proud of me for?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus pressed a kiss to their neck again, rocking them a little. “How you’re taking care of yourself and doing what you can. How you’re talking with me and being open and understanding.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius nodded, relaxing back into him even more. “Thank you. I’m trying to be good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re being so good. Daddy’s so proud.” He rested his chin on their shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Sirius breathed, tipping their head back onto his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lily is thinking of having all the kids over for a big bash before they go back to school.” Remus played with the end of their braid, feeling a bit better himself now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah? That sounds really good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Friday night, she’d keep them over. I’m okay with that, if you are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius tilted their head and looked at him, eyes open now. “Yeah, I’m okay with that. You are too?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am, I think Teddy and Jordan will be excited to get away for a night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I agree,” Sirius murmured, pressing a kiss to his neck. “Do you want to do something?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What kind of something?” Remus kissed their jaw.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We could go out for dinner… or we could stay in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We could do something romantic, celebrate our anniversary.” He suggested.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh god, that’s soon isn’t it.” Sirius chuckled, shaking their head. “That sounds lovely, my romantic Austen heroine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He snorted a laugh. “Yes. 18 years married, 19 years together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius hummed, stroking their hand over his arm around their waist. “Should we do something special for our 20th anniversary?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, we should. We should go back to Italy, for our 20th wedding anniversary. Wouldn’t that be brilliant?” Remus gave them a squeeze around the middle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah! Oh that would be wonderful. Yes! Do you think we can get the same place?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everyone back in the same place, with the kids now. That would be amazing, wouldn’t it princess?” He kissed their temple.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius gave a little sigh. “It would be amazing, Daddy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Teddy would love it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He would. God, I can just imagine it. It’d be perfect.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus nodded with a smile that Sirius probably couldn’t see in their position. Going back to that villa sounded perfect, he wanted to start planning now even though it was two years away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius gave another contented sigh. “I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too, baby.” He kissed down their jaw. “Do you need anything else right now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm, no. I just don’t want to move,” Sirius mumbled, turning a little so they could curl up against him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, you don’t have to. I got you princess.” Remus rubbed their back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we keep talking? Just tell me something. I just want your voice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm, remember when we went to that little place in the hills before our wedding? The night of our one year dating anniversary. It’s probably one of the happiest nights of my life. I loved our wedding, but just being with you the night before was perfect.” He pressed a kiss to their lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius kissed back, smiling softly. “Mmm, it was perfect. You surprised me with it all, and then we got horrifically wine drunk and were hungover for our own wedding.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I gave you that stupidly romantic letter.” Remus smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You made me bawl my eyes out. I still have it in my nightstand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A warmth blossomed in Remus’ chest. “Really?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course I do! You can see if you like. It’s there at the back, with my engagement ring box and the dried flower that was in my hair.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You call me sappy and sentimental princess.” He kissed them again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are,” Sirius murmured into the kiss, lingering close for a moment. “Just I’m sappy too, sometimes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He chuckled, moving with Sirius in his arms to lay down. “Baby, you’re sappy a lot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a secret Daddy, you can’t tell anyone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I won’t. I like keeping that secret all to myself.” He pulled the covers over them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You wouldn’t like me being sappy with anyone else.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you’re not allowed to be sappy with anyone else. I don’t give you permission for that.” Remus shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius chuckled. “Of all the things you’re okay with, being sweet is not on that list.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm, that’s all for me princess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhmmm. I’m only ever sweet to you. Even when I’m awful and fighting you, I’m still extra sweet after.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus laughed, kissed down their jaw. “You’re always the sweetest afterwards.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius squirmed just a little, tipping their chin back. “Mm, only for Daddy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you so much and I love you being awful, but I love you the most after when we’re both being sweet.” Remus pressed his lips to their neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too. I love you so much,” they breathed, wrapping their arms around his shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have the best princess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius shuddered, their breath hitching a little. “We should…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm, we should sleep. If you carry on…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus frowned a little. “Okay, let’s go to sleep princess.” He shifted under them, trying to get comfortable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius kissed his cheek. “I love you so much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too baby.” He wrapped his arms around them, closing his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius gave a little hum then settled against him, their arms around his waist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next day, Remus woke up before Sirius -- not by choice. He had to go in to work early to meet the vendors, even if he wanted to stay home with everyone again. Going to work was good though. It took his mind off of everything going on for a few hours, and he could worry about work. Remus even got to teach a class to some business folks on their lunch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy and Jordan got to Recovery before Sirius. He was going to ask what they did all day, but he didn’t need to seeing as Jordan had a few hickeys. Christ his child was too much like Sirius sometimes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dad, can we climb?” Teddy asked with a big grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Pada’s not here yet anyhow.” He gave Teddy a big hug. “Pronouns, kid?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm, he/him.” Teddy tapped the badge on his hoodie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, yes, of course. I think I might need glasses all the time because I didn’t see that.” He scoffed before looking to Jordan. “Do you want to get on the ropes? Teddy’s going to be bouldering I’m sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um, I think I’ll just watch him.” He smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, kid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy had already ran off towards the bouldering and climbed on, still in his Converse. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should put on some climbing shoes!” Remus shouted before turning to Jordan. “Are you doing okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jordan nodded, putting his hands in his pockets as he watched Teddy for a moment. “Yeah, thinking a lot, but I’m okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to talk about it? Anything I can help with?” He patted Jordan’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dunno… just thinking about options, pros and cons, you know? Makes my head hurt sometimes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I understand. If you need to go over things later then just let me know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, thank you Remus.” Jordan smiled before looking back at Teddy on the wall. “God, that’s high.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha, yeah I guess it is?” Remus chuckled because it wasn’t to him, but he had to remember he wasn’t exactly normal when it came to this stuff.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How did they get up there so bloody quickly?” Jordan shook his head, grinning at Teddy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Practice. He’s been climbing since… god, since he could pull himself up the wall and I could fit him in a harness, I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are we talking about my prodigy child?” Sirius’ voice came from behind Remus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. He’s good at so many things, it’s almost unfair to the rest of us. I know I sort of am blinded by the fact he’s my child but…” He snickered before going to hug Sirius. “Hi love.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi caro,” Sirius murmured, hugging him back and pressing a kiss to his cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How was work?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good, good. Busy, like always, but you know how we thrive on that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that’s good.” He let them go, turning to see Jordan going to Teddy. “I think they spent the day snogging.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius grinned, wrapping their arm around his waist. “Scandalous.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, I hope it was just snogging, but Jordan has a hickey or two.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need to give him lessons on covering them, huh?” Sirius gave him a wry grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You tried that, he likes sporting them. Unless you meant Jordan, I don’t know how he feels about showing them off.” He watched Teddy trying to show Jordan how to climb.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“God, he really is my son, huh? I don’t really feel like I can be on my high horse about showing off hickeys, because I do it too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you can’t be.” He tickled their side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius’ shriek echoed through the climbing arena for a second before they bit their lip to try and stifle it. “Oi!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He snorted a laugh. “Let’s get going.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius pouted at him, elbowing his side before looking back to the kids climbing. “Come on kids!”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Chapter 25</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sirius grinned ear to ear as Teddy and Jordan ran ahead of them into the trampoline park. They were squabbling over whether to go into the trampoline hall first, or whether they should go into the other area.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s good to see them so happy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know I love it. It makes me feel better too.” He took Sirius’ hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius kissed the back of his hand. “Where shall we go first, trampolines or the others?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t really have a preference, up to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm, the others? We can swear at the bouldering wall on the way past, go on the ninja course. Maybe I can do some of the trapeze too? We might have silks at work, but I don’t think we’ll ever get a trapeze.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds good.” Remus snickered as he led them in that direction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius leaned into him as they walked, content. “Dinner after this, huh? What are you thinking?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pulled them a little closer. “Ah, we can ask the boys. I’m really shit at making choices today for some reason.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright. We can make all the choices.” Sirius kissed his cheek and pulled open the door into the back hall. “Ready to get your ass kicked on the obstacle course?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha! I will kick your ass.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius raised an eyebrow. “Oh, it’s on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus grinned at them before breaking out into a run towards the course. Sirius was hot on his heels, running after him and catching up just at the start. Thankfully there was no queue, so they jumped right up onto the monkey bars.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course Remus got ahead of them there, his upper body strength was something else. When it got to the balance beam though, Sirius was much quicker across, their dexterity and balance much better. Remus nearly fell off three times.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius paused to stick their tongue out at him before starting on the swinging platforms. There were three of them that swung back and forth. Sirius concentrated, timing their jumps from one to the other and glad they were still pretty in shape for their mid-forties. Remus was catching up with them again somehow, even though it had to do with balance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh no,” Sirius said, as they jumped from the last one. “You are not beating me, Remus.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha! NO!” Remus jumped at the same time as them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius scrambled back to their feet, running forwards over the small climbing wall. They knew Remus would catch them up there, or overtake them rather, so they had to keep going at full pelt. Of course Remus easily moved past them, no matter how good they were at climbing now, Remus was better. At the top of the wall there was the last obstacle, a cylinder they had to stand on and roll down a decline, then jump to the finish line. Sirius wasted no time hopping onto it, shifting their weight to set it moving. They really hoped their superior balance would win out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus managed to stay in front, only by a small fraction, and they ended up jumping to the finish line at the same exact time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius huffed, putting their hands on their knees. “A draw? No fun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus pulled them up without a word and kissed them, dipping Sirius a little before pulling back. “You can say you won.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius melted into him, a huge grin on their face. “God I love you. That might be the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>That</span>
  </em>
  <span> is the sweetest? Dear god,” He muttered before kissing them again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“REALLY?!” Teddy shouted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius broke off, chuckling. “Piccolino, if you’re going to be like that, you need to stop leaving your hickeys in such obvious places.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both Teddy and Jordan turned a deep red and Remus snorted before straightening them both up. Sirius leaned into him, laughing more now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought so. Go on, go be terrors somewhere else. Unless,” Sirius said, biting their lip. “Do you want me to show you the trapeze, Ted?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you?” Teddy grinned, bouncing on his toes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure. Come on, let’s go see. You have to listen, though. There’s a foam pit so it’s not as bad as the silks at Ascendence, but still, alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Surprised you’re not sticking around and snogging me instead.” Remus laughed softly before making his way over to the teens.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius smiled at him, catching him around the wrist for a moment. “If we tire them out now, think of how much time we’ll have this evening. We can snog all you like, then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll see.” Remus grinned before slipping from their grip. “Come on Jordan, I can show you how to climb the shitty wall. It’s super easy, and a good start.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius chuckled, watching him for a moment before heading to the trapeze with Teddy. He was an amazing dancer, and climber--really, just unfairly good at everything--and they were excited to introduce him to something new.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course, Teddy took to the trapeze so easily. Sirius was constantly surprised at the ease with which Teddy picked up new skills. Surprised, and ridiculously proud. After the trampoline park, the four went back home to get changed, then figured out where to go to dinner. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thankfully, the teens had opinions, so they ended up going to a barbeque place. It was the kind of restaurant where patrons went up to the chefs and requested certain kinds of meats or other sides, and Sirius was laughing watching Teddy and Jordan flit around, apparently trying one of </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know how people say they’re so hungry they could eat a horse? They don’t have that here but I think we could manage a whole pig or cow.” Remus snorted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius laughed, shaking their head. “It’s a shame they don’t have horse, I suppose, if only for the joke.” They sat back. “I reckon we could manage a pig, for sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” Remus picked up a rib.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, I’m pretty sure I could eat these guys out of ribs. How are they so good?” Sirius picked up one of their own, digging into it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know.” Remus had sauce on his lower lip. “Know what would be cool? If Recovery had some like barbeque and beer thing next summer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius made an affirmative noise before swallowing their mouthful. They almost didn’t want to tell him about the sauce… at least not until he was finished. “That would be great! You could throw the big doors of the bar open and have someone cooking barbeque out there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, exactly.” He hummed as Teddy and Jordan sat down with another plateful each. “You two aren’t going to have room for dessert.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy snorted. “Dad, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>always</span>
  </em>
  <span> have room for dessert.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You really are my son.” He put a hand over his heart and Jordan laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius rolled their eyes, starting on another rib. “Your sweet tooths, both of you, will never fail to amaze me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dad you have sauce on your lip.” Teddy made a face. “Pada, why didn’t you tell him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you must know,” Sirius said, smiling at Teddy. “I was going to kiss him for it before you two appeared.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus rolled his eyes as he licked the sauce off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Pada</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You asked!” Sirius laughed, reaching over to put their hand on Remus’ knee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They just love each other, Teddy.” Jordan gave a shy smile looking down at his plate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius gave him a genuine smile just before he looked away. It occurred to them that Jordan might never have seen his own parents act this way to each other, and that made their heart ache.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but they don’t have to be so gross about it,” Teddy said, grimacing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Believe me, we are not as gross as we could be.” Remus pointed out to them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy mimed gagging as Sirius burst into fresh laughter. “That’s very true, piccolino.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re so gross, believe me. Sometimes we gross me out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha! Oi!” Sirius bumped their shoulder into his. “Rude.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“At least Dad knows.” Teddy laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius just shook their head. “I’m ignoring all this ganging up on Pada in favour of eating my ribs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“‘Cuse me. I’m gonna go to the loo.” Jordan got up. “Be right back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” Sirius hummed, watching him for a moment before looking back across the table at their son. “He alright, piccolino?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think so. He was okay all day.” Teddy frowned. “I’m not sure what’s the matter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want me to go check on him? Or do you want to go?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll do it.” Remus stood up. “You two relax.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius smiled at him, reaching out to squeeze his arm before he moved away. “Alright. Love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus kissed the top of their head before going off after Jordan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius looked back to Teddy, giving him a reassuring smile. “Whaddaya say we go tackle that pulled pork?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Teddy smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a short while, Remus and Jordan came back to the table, Jordan looking a little better than before. They finished dessert not long after they reappeared, Teddy and Remus eating a ridiculous amount of sweet things before finally throwing in the towel, with Jordan and Sirius looking on in awe and admiration.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius flopped down on the sofa when they got home, Bucky running around between the four of them as if he couldn’t decide who to bother for pets first. “God, I’m so full.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too.” Remus groaned, putting his hand on his stomach as Teddy went up to his room and Jordan to the sunroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely worth it though, huh?” Sirius smiled over at him, holding their hand out for his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm.” He yawned, taking their hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They pressed a kiss to his knuckles. “Jordan alright after your talk?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s all right. Don’t worry.” Remus sat next to them before kissing them on the cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius looked at him for a moment before leaning in and kissing his cheek. They realised it was probably something Remus was looking out for them about, so they were better not knowing. “I love you. Did you have a good day?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you. I had a wonderful day. It was good to go back to work, even if I was wondering what they were getting up to all morning.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm, me too. But I’m sure they were fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Remus brushed his fingers through their hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“God, we’re getting old. I’m thinking about going to bed. Or at least getting into bed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When don’t I want to be in bed?” Remus stood back up, pulling Sirius with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm, maybe we can watch something. Or just cuddle up.” They wrapped their arm around his waist. “Didn’t you say something about snogging earlier?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did?” Remus asked as he led them upstairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius bit their lip. “I don’t know. Did you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you being shy right now?” He raised an eyebrow as they got to the top of the stairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know. Am I?” Sirius bit back an impish smile, putting their hands on their hips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus laughed, pulling him towards the room. “I don’t know you were biting your lip.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe I am being shy. Maybe you’ll have to convince me.” Sirius smiled, shutting the bedroom door behind them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re cute shy.” Remus kissed their cheek before going over towards the dresser. “Do you work tomorrow?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmhmm, in the afternoon, and one of the evening classes, but the early one. Are you in Recovery?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, all morning again.” He started to change.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, I hate it when we’re on opposite schedules.” Sirius sat on the edge of the bed, getting undressed. “We have Friday though, at least.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I get out at five.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright.” Sirius huffed, climbing into bed and pushing the covers down for him to get under too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want to do that night?” He frowned. “Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m alright. I just miss you a bit at the moment, but today was wonderful.” They rubbed a hand over their face. “We can see how we feel on friday, maybe?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You miss me?” He crawled under the covers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, which is silly because you’re right here, I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not silly.” Remus sat up against the pillows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius immediately cuddled up against him, their arm over his stomach, head on their shoulder. “Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why do you miss me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not sure… I guess I feel like we haven’t had much </span>
  <em>
    <span>us</span>
  </em>
  <span> time recently, with Teddy being off school and Jordan being here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” He ran his fingers through their hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They closed their eyes. “It’s fine though, this is just what being a parent is like, you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d say we have much more time now than when he was younger.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm, that is very true.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll do my best not to be distant from you either.” He kissed their cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not a you thing, or a me thing, it’s just… circumstance.” Sirius leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever you say.” Remus hugged them tight.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Chapter 26</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Remus got home Friday after work, a little earlier than he thought he was going to be. Regulus insisted that he leave early before it got busy with the after work crowd. That was probably a good idea because he tended to get caught up in things. Especially with everything going on at home, it was nice to just sink into work. Poor Jordan was stuck and didn’t know what to do and Sirius kept slipping in and out of being a bit sad. Teddy seemed nervous for everyone in the house. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was glad that the teens were going to be having a good time with everyone else at the Potter’s. Maybe everyone could take their mind off things. At the moment he wanted to melt into the sofa, but also take Sirius out to do something nice and romantic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Bucky.” Remus scratched behind the barking dog’s ears. “How you doing bud, where’s Sirius?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bucky barked as if he knew what Remus was saying then ran off towards the garden.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi caro!” Sirius called through, sounding as if they were outside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus followed Bucky and found Sirius sitting in one of the loungers. “Hi love, how was your day?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They grinned as soon as they saw him, sitting up and pushing their sunglasses up onto their head. “Hi. It was good, bloody glad for a night off though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s good to hear. Reggie pushed me out the door early.” Remus took a seat next to them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm, I’m glad for it, then. It’s a lovely afternoon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is.” He laid back on the lounger, closing his eyes. “So, what should we do?” Trying to choose things was a hassle the last few days. Trying to be the strong one in the House was difficult.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought you might have something planned, Mr. Romance.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shrugged, smiling up at the sun on his face even though he felt a pang in his chest. They always did something nice for their anniversary, but he had planned nothing this year. “What are you feeling like?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius was quiet for a moment. “I want to treat you good, and do something romantic. But I also want to stay in, order food and get high.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Those are two different things.” He chuckled, stretching his arms above his head with a groan, sore from the climbing he had been doing on and off all day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you see the depth of my dilemma.” Sirius laughed, and a moment later Remus felt their hand on his knee. “Want me to rub your shoulders?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm, yeah sure.” Remus didn’t want to move though, the sun was in the perfect place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius nudged onto the lounger behind him, pressing a kiss to the back of his neck before starting to gently rub at all the sore spots. They knew exactly where they all were, too. What a nice plus after being together for nearly two decades.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, good. I did one of those youth climbs today and they were off the wall. I’m sure their parents are ready to get them back in school.” Remus sighed as Sirius kneaded out a very sore spot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm god, I bet you’re exhausted.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not really.” He shook his head. “It was fun even though they were crazy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s good at least.” They pressed another kiss to his neck, lingering there as they worked at another sore spot. “What do you want to do tonight?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Something romantic.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh god, you know that’s your speciality, caro. Dinner? A walk through that nice park?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, sure.” He nodded, eyes still closed as he enjoyed the warmth of Sirius behind him and the sun shining down in them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius just chuckled and wrapped their arms around his middle, resting their chin on his shoulder. He leaned back into Sirius, letting out another sigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s get changed then,” he finally declared after just enjoying the rest for a few moments.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have to move first, caro. You’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>on</span>
  </em>
  <span> me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, okay.” Remus pushed himself up then stood, stretching a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius chuckled, sitting forward themselves. “I expected you to take more convincing than that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughed as he started for the door. “Sorry,” Remus paused for a moment thinking about what he really wanted to do tonight. Just dinner didn’t seem like what Sirius wanted to do. “I saw this pottery class ad earlier. That could be a fun date.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius followed him, their hand on his back. “Oh, that sounds really fun. Like that scene from Ghost?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh god, I didn’t think of that.” Remus shook his head going for the stairs. “Or maybe we should just do the dinner thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no. I wanna do the pottery class, it sounds like a total laugh.” Sirius smiled as if they had a joke Remus hadn’t picked up on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sure? We’ll get all dirty, I like the idea of dressing up nice and going for dinner,” He said when they got to their room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought you usually liked it when we got all dirty.” Sirius grinned, leaning against the door. “You pick, caro. Either Sirius dressed all pretty, going for fancy dinner, or Sirius splattered in clay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like you all sweaty. I think that’s different.” Remus kissed them on the cheek before falling into their bed. “Though it would be fun…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius chuckled. “Yeah, I think that’s a little different,” they said, crawling onto the bed next to him and pressing a kiss to his shoulder. “But now you’ve laid down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m waiting for you to change.” He pushed himself against the pillows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, of course. What shall I wear, then? We’re getting all dressed up, hm?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus groaned, sinking into the mattress. “I’m struggling to make choices.” He rubbed a hand over his face. It wasn’t the usual </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m bi, I can’t choose</span>
  </em>
  <span>, it was something else that felt heavy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” Sirius said softly, going over to the wardrobe and rifling through.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay caro. There’s no need to apologise.” Remus felt the mattress dip as they sat on the edge of the bed. “Do you know why you’re feeling like that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” He shook his head. “I think I’ve just made a lot of choices lately? I don’t know.” Remus reached out and rubbed their back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, that makes sense.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You decide what we do.” Remus nudged them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius took a breath. “Okay. The pottery class. I’ll call them just now to see if they have spaces… and if they don’t, then we’ll go to dinner.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds good.” Remus sat back with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius leaned in and kissed him softly. “Okay, here.” They fished in their pocket for their phone and pulled it out. “What did you say the name of the place was?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm, I think it was Sybill’s Art Studio.” He pulled his legs up to sit cross legged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright. Found it.” Sirius hit call, chattering away to the woman on the other end for a few minutes before they hung up. “They don’t have spaces tonight, so she said. They do have a couples night in a few weeks, though!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus laughed a little because they were so enthused about it. “Okay, well, that choice is made for us. Looks like we’re doing fancy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius smiled. “Yes, it seems like it! Unless…” Sirius bit their lip. “I have an idea. Do you want to do fancy, or go with my idea?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh god, what’s your idea?” It was going to either be something off of the wall or something amazing, knowing Sirius.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, hear me out. We get dressed up all fancy, in our best, then order takeout and sit in a sofa fort to eat it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seems a waste of being fancy, but okay.” Remus nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius seemed to deflate. “That was not the reaction I was going for.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He frowned, hating that he had put a pin in it so fast. Normally he would praise Sirius for an idea like that, but his brain was being a bit of a dick right now.  “I’m sorry, love.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to go out somewhere fancy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can stay in and do your idea.” He squeezed their shoulder, feeling terrible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would you be happy doing that? Or would you rather go out and make the most of getting dressed up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus shrugged then kissed their cheek. “I’m just being a grumpy bastard, I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay.” Sirius ducked their head and kissed his lips. “Can I cheer you up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Putting my mouth to good use?” They bit their lip, kissing him again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah.” He frowned, feeling like nothing was going to help.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius bit their lip. “Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus frowned deeper. “What do you need?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need you to be happy,” Sirius said softly. “I need you to have a nice night, doing what you want to do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry.” He wasn’t sure what he wanted out of this all right now. The last week seemed to be catching up to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t apologise, you don’t need to.” Sirius shifted back on the bed. “Shall we just hang out here? It’s still sunny out, we can go sit back in the loungers.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Perfect.” He got off the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius stood up too. “Wanna get high too?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s good.” Remus kicked his shoes off, deciding that he didn’t need them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, cool.” Sirius dug in their nightstand, emerging with the little box they kept their weed in. “Downstairs?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus led the way, wondering how Lily and James were fairing with all the teens. They were great, but it was a lot. He also hoped that Teddy and Jordan weren’t making out half the night instead of having fun with everyone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Out on the deck, Sirius sat back in their lounger, pulling their sunglasses back into place on their nose. “God, I love the summer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too.” Remus sat down on the other lounger next to them, stretching his legs out with a sigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will you roll?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, if you want.” He held his hand out for the box.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do,” Sirius retorted with a smile, dropping the box into his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus took the box and went to getting to work on rolling the joint. “Did your work day go well?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhmm.” Remus saw Sirius sitting forward a little in the corner of his eye. “It was good. Marly and I had a meeting to talk about hiring some new staff, taught three classes and sat in on Benj teaching some ballet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s good. I’m happy to hear you thinking about adding more staff, you’ll be less stressed.” He concentrated on rolling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right. Quieter schedule too. I thought about just doing management for a while, handing over classes. But then I remembered I’d lose my mind if I couldn’t dance, or teach it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you hate the management part of it.” He licked the seal before grabbing the pen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, and you know how antsy I get when I can’t dance. Marly is the same. Maybe we can outsource the admin…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus handed Sirius the joint, sitting back in the lounger. “That’s what I did, the best thing ever.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius looked thoughtful as they took a long drag on the joint then held it out to Remus. “I’ll talk to Marly about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should.” He took the joint, but didn’t take a hit. “You sure you don’t want to go out tonight?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This was the idea you showed interest in, so we’re doing this. There’s nowhere I’d rather be Remus, honestly.” Sirius shifted to lie back, arms behind their head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, but this is meant to be our anniversary. I -- I’m such an idiot tonight.” He handed the joint back to Sirius.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They rolled onto their side, frowning at him. “No you’re not. It’s our anniversary, so we’re doing just what we want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He let out a long breath. “Yeah.” Remus set the box aside before relaxing in the lounger again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, we can do whatever we want. And what I want is to spend time with you, and talk and exist in your presence because I love you and you’re my husband.” Sirius leaned over and passed him the joint again, their hand lingering on his arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.” Remus laughed. “I love you too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius nudged him. “Are you gonna take this expertly rolled joint or not?”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Chapter 27</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sirius was a little worried. Remus had been off from the moment he had come home, and felt so closed off. He said he was having a hard time making decisions, and Sirius suspected he was a little overworked. That was why they had suggested staying in and getting high, but Remus was refusing to relax.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They nudged him again, biting their lip. “Just relax, caro. We don’t have to do a thing tonight. The kids are with Lily and James, probably having the best time, and we can just </span>
  <em>
    <span>be.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah I know that.” Remus took the joint, but still didn’t take a hit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So what’s going on, huh?” Sirius leaned in and took a drag without taking the joint from his fingers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, I’m feeling just really responsible for everything?” He frowned, watching Sirius.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius bit their lip, thinking for a moment. “You have nothing to be responsible for right now. The kids are out, Bucky went on the biggest walk earlier so he’s passed out. I feel good. I feel more grounded than I have for a while. You need to just… give yourself a minute.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m having a hard time letting myself do that.” He sat up a little, but tilted his head back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I imagine the joint will help,” they said, giving him a wry smile. They lifted their hand and traced the line of his throat, brushing their thumb softly over the skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus snorted a laugh. “I know, but I’m worried that I’ll get high then something will come up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then we do what we did when we were younger and use all those tips your Mam had for sobering up fast. We delegate, we figure it out.” Sirius kissed his jaw. “You deserve to relax for a night, caro.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He put a hand on their hip, but didn’t move otherwise. “Yeah, logically we can do that but I’m trying to be like super dad or something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, you are super dad. You’re a wonderful parent, but to keep that up, you need to relax.” Sirius tilted their head and kissed the corner of his mouth. “I’d like my husband for a few hours, as good as super dad is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I wish I could give you that.” Remus nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can,” Sirius breathed, feeling a little sad all of a sudden. “Kiss me a minute, please?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus leaned forward to press his lips to theirs, complying. Sirius kissed him back, their free hand going to cup his cheek then slide back into his hair. They kept the kiss slow and soft, but deepened it just a little. The hand on Sirius’ hip held them tighter for a second before rubbing it up their side. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They hummed into the kiss, pressing a little closer, glad to be getting </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span> out of him. Remus let them press closer, not doing much in return, but not pulling away. He kept his hand on their back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius pulled back to breathe, smiling softly. “Hi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi.” Remus brushed his hand through their hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you so much.” Sirius turned and kissed his wrist, then the corner of his mouth. They could tell he was feeling so off, and they hoped they would be able to help him through it so they could have a nice night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now come on, have a drag of this with me. I promise, if we’re needed, we’ll make sure we’re sober?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus looked at his Apple Watch. “Yeah, probably.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius smiled, biting their lip as they held the joint up, filter-end first, to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I feel like we’re teenagers and you’re trying to get me high.” He snorted a laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha. You know how we did it as teens? I bet you did this more, to be fair. Pretty sure I did it with oregano.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus rolled his eyes. “Fucking oregano.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Never let James buy weed. He gets overexcited.” Sirius grinned, shaking their head. “But if we’re being teens, we’d do this.” They took a drag then leaned in kissing Remus soft enough that he could pull away if he wanted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus laughed, turned his mouth away to chuckle against their cheek. “The dealer could probably see the rich naive kid coming from a mile away.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Sirius said, making themselves smile. They just wished they could click their fingers and get Remus to stop worrying. With another breath they sat back on their heels and took a real hit of the joint. A little voice in their head said that if </span>
  <em>
    <span>Remus</span>
  </em>
  <span> didn’t want to get high, that didn’t mean they couldn’t.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would have charged him like five times the price and given him oregano.” Remus put his hands behind his head, settling in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s probably what they did.” Sirius sat back, tucking their legs up. “Bless him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What should we have for dinner? I can go grab something for us.” He asked them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s the good Iranian place down the street. Just reopened.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah, we can do that. What do you want?” Remus smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius waved a hand, taking another hit. “If I remember they have like, a two person set menu thing. Let’s just get that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Brilliant idea. I’ll call ahead then pick it up.” Remus reached in his pocket.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He kissed them on the forehead before standing up. “Love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love you too,” Sirius said, flopping back into the lounger and taking another hit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, enjoy that joint.” Remus went to go step inside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius just chuckled in response, half laughing in disbelief. They knew they shouldn’t get frustrated when Remus was having a hard time and wasn’t responding at all, but they just found it so difficult to keep reaching out and getting nothing. They leaned over and stubbed out the joint, intending to save the rest of it for later. Even if they just sat here all night, eating their takeout over some stilted conversation, it would be good.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Only a minute later Remus came back out, “They’re not answering the phone. Should I just go over there and wait? Or should we do something else?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius huffed, just looking up at the sky. “I can cook something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I don’t want you to work.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They tilted their head a little to glance at him. “Okay… I don’t know, just pick the first thing off the Doordash list.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All right.” Remus sat down on the edge of Sirius’ lounger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a sigh, Sirius put their hand on his thigh, looking back up at the sky.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sirius, I feel like I’m doing this all wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They bit back a sarcastic response, biting their lip instead. “I just want a nice relaxing night with you, Rem. I don’t want to get caught up on what to eat or be worrying about if we have to go somewhere. I just want to be me and you for a minute… this is what I meant the other day when I said I missed you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve already accepted your apology, caro.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what else to say because I don’t know how to shake this and I don’t know what to do. I’m getting hung up on everything.” Remus tossed his phone aside. “I don’t feel like I can do anything right right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius rubbed a hand over their face. “You’re doing plenty right. I just want you here, not locked up in your head wherever you are.” They took his hand and kissed his knuckles. “I don’t know how else to pull you out of it. I’m getting to the bottom of my options list.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know how to get out. I feel like it’s not going anywhere. I don’t know why I feel like this either?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know either.  We haven’t switched off in a while, so maybe your brain is struggling to. I know mine is, hence the joint, but you didn’t want that either.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus agreed, closing his eyes. “I just want to sleep and it’s not even five o’clock yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius bit their lip. “If you want to sleep then we can go to bed. Whatever you want to do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m ruining the night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No you’re not. I want a night with you. If that’s cuddled up in bed with you dozing with your head on my chest, then so be it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wanna take care of you though and dress nice and enjoy good food too.” Remus put his face in his hands then groaned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius sighed. They were wondering about whether to push and make him take care of them, but they didn’t want to push wrong tonight. They knelt up and ran their hands through their hair. “Then we can do that. It’s not too late to go to dinner.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, it’s early.” He laughed. “Where?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That place round the corner from the jazz bar. The place we always walked past on the way to the bus stop and said we’d go one day.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, that’s good, let’s go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius dared take a breath, standing up and starting inside before Remus changed his mind. They got dressed up, talking a little about work, then headed out, grabbing an Uber. Sirius was wearing the dress they bought in New York all those years ago, with their hair loose and nice heels. Remus was in a button up shirt, nice slacks, and Sirius’ favourite brogues of his. He looked a little more relaxed now they had a plan, so Sirius hoped the night was up from here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had called ahead for a table, so got seated with no problem, in a little table next to a big bay window, looking out into a herb garden at the back of the restaurant. Sirius shrugged off their jacket and passed it to the server. This place was </span>
  <em>
    <span>nice.</span>
  </em>
  <span> They’d been meaning to come for years, and it was definitely worth it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everything looks really good.” Remus looked over the menu once they were sitting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right?” Sirius puffed out their cheeks, flipping the menu over to see the drinks list. “Shall we get a bottle of wine? Italian, as an ode to Tuscany, maybe?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, we can do that. You pick, you’re better with wine than me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius grinned. “You mean I’m a wine snob.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I misspoke.” He put his glasses on to read the menu after a moment of squinting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius bit their lip; god, he was so adorable in his glasses. Remus would always be the most beautiful thing they’d ever seen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi. Have you decided on drinks at all, or do you want a few more minutes?” Sirius looked up to see their server, a sweet looking girl with a brown bob and striking dark lipstick, hovering nearby.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, we’ve got drinks down. Can we get a bottle of the Italian Sangiovese?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep!” She smiled wider. “Are you celebrating something tonight?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Our 18th anniversary, actually,” Remus answered, looking up at her with a small smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She gasped, putting a hand over her heart. “No way! Congratulations! You are the cutest couple. Did you get married really young, then? Eighteen years is a long time!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha, oh, no we’re well into our forties and have a sixteen year old kid.” He laughed. “Though, I’m sure Sirius is very flattered right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius rolled their eyes, hitting Remus on the arm. “I am, and you should be too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No way! Oh gosh, I’m so sorry! You both look like you’re in your thirties at most! Congratulations, really!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha, thank you… with the greys, I would assume I look like some old man with a young person.” Remus smiled over at Sirius.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How many times, caro. You’re a silver fox and I won’t hear anything otherwise.” They smiled at the server. “Right? Silver fox, not grey old man.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her cheeks turned pink as she laughed. “I have to agree. I think it suits you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks.” Remus rolled his eyes. “You’ve embarrassed the poor girl, Sirius.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no, it’s fine.” She grinned, gesturing with her notepad. “I’ll go get that wine for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All right, thank you.” Remus nodded before looking back to the menu.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius tangled their feet together, looking over their own menu. “It’s true, you know. You don’t look like an old man. You’re bloody gorgeous.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re very sweet.” He reached over and squeezed a hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s my favourite thing, to be sweet to you. But I’m also being truthful. I was just sitting there before she came over thinking about how damn handsome you are, about how you still make my heart race whenever I look at you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re still sweet.” Remus smiled. “Even if you’re kind of stoned right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius rolled their eyes. “That just means I’m extra truthful, caro. Besides, I only had a half.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Chapter 28</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Remus laughed as he took another sip of his wine. He was finally feeling better after his mini responsibility meltdown earlier. After spending the week On, it was hard to turn Off. It was the worst when Sirius said that how things were earlier was what they meant by saying they missed him earlier in the week. Now they were out, celebrating their anniversary, everything seemed to be clicking back into place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few moments later, the server came back, taking their orders for food and making more chatter. She seemed so bubbly, smiling and laughing with them both before bouncing back to the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius smiled behind their wine glass, absently rubbing their foot over Remus’ calf.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s that grin for, baby?” He raised an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius blinked, looking at him for a moment before they answered. “I think she has a crush on you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughed, “No, she’s almost young enough to be my daughter. She’s got to be about eighteen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And some eighteen year olds like a distinguished silver fox.” Sirius grinned wider. “She does, I can feel it, I swear. The vibe or something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, Mary, if you say so.” He refilled both of their glasses. “You were convinced that bloke at the club had a crush on me, but it was you. Remember?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius waved a hand. “I still say it was both of us. He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely</span>
  </em>
  <span> making eyes at you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, whatever it was he was happy to join us,” Remus muttered before taking another sip of the wine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm, I’d say so.” Sirius bit their lip, their cheeks turning a little pink. They were completely stunning in one of his favorite dresses on them. “That was a good one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus nodded, reaching a hand down to squeeze their ankle of the foot on his calf.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius smiled at him, reaching over to take his hand for a moment. “This place is lovely, isn't it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded, looking around the dimly lit dining area. “It’s great, too bad we put it off so much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re creatures of habit, huh? We know three good places, so we just go there again and again.” Sirius sipped their wine. “Well now we can make it four.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha! We have made other attempts at places, but always end up with our regulars.” Remus smiled, still taking in the room. His eyes caught their server’s and she blushed, looking away quickly. “Oh god, she does have a crush on me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius stifled a laugh into their hand. “I told you! That silver fox college professor rock climbing god Daddy look really works for you caro.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I could be her literal father.” Remus put a hand over his face before laughing. “Good thing Teddy’s not here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha. Thank god. He’d be mortally embarrassed his Dad is a hottie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus snorted, shaking his head. “Remember when the guy at the store tried to chat me up and get my number? He wanted to melt into the floor.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I remember! This is just further proof that you, Remus Lupin-Black, are a certified hunk. Remember at Rocky Horror? You came back from the bar pleased as punch because you’d been chatted up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha! Yes. He was kind of hot, that bloke, in a generic way.” He grinned at Sirius. “You are by far the best looking creature on the face of the planet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius smiled, flushing red as they glanced down to their lap then back up. “You’re sweet. My best garbage.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not as sweet as you my pearl.” He sighed as he looked at them. They were just as beautiful as the first time Remus laid eyes on them… no they somehow were more beautiful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“God, twenty years of nicknames and you still make my heart flutter with every one of them.” Sirius bit their lip around a broad smile. “You’re sighing again, my Austen heroine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You make me sigh, baby.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius reached over and took his hand, lacing their fingers together. He rubbed his thumb back and forth over their hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can tell you’ve been climbing less recently, you know.” Sirius squeezed their joined hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, it’s been busy.” Remus chuckled because of course Sirius could tell by how roughed up his hands were.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know your hands better than mine sometimes,” Sirius murmured, turning his hand over in theirs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure you do.” Remus tilted his head watching them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My favourite hands.” They leaned over and kissed his knuckles before setting his hand back on the table. “Just happen to be attached to my favourite person.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, thank goodness.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius rolled their eyes. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>There’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> that Lupin sass.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s always just under the surface, you know? You’ve met my mother and our child.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just like Punk Remus, he's always lingering in the background too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Always.” He laughed as their waitress came over with their food.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here you two go! I hope you enjoy it!” She was grinning from ear to ear, but avoiding looking Remus in the eye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you so much. It looks wonderful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you need anything else at all? Alright for drinks?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius bit their lip, shaking their head slightly at Remus. He had a feeling they were purposefully being quiet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll have another bottle of wine, I think.” He grinned at Sirius before looking back to their server.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay! Coming right up.” She nodded quickly before taking off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus tried not to laugh as he looked down at his food. “The poor thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius grinned, picking up their fork. “She’s living her best life admiring the hottie in her restaurant right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She couldn’t look me in the eye.” He took a sip of his wine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They enjoyed their dinner, and nearly finished their wine as they talked and laughed. The longer they were out, the better Remus was feeling about everything. The server kept popping over to make sure that they were doing okay -- well that or she was just trying to get a better look at Remus according to Sirius.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, that was some good food.” Remus reached for the little dessert menu that was on the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius sat back, holding their nearly empty wine glass. “Yep. That was so good, we are definitely coming here again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For sure.” He slid his glasses back on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, there he is. My handsome silver fox.” Sirius grinned at him, tilting their head a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I should just wear them all the time, huh?” Remus was a little tipsy, and very happy as he looked over the dessert menu.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They suit you, so why not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You want me to keep mine on and you barely wear yours!” He shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I keep putting them down! Teddy keeps threatening to get me one of those chains for around my neck like I’m some eighty year old grandma.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“HA! Oh my god.” Remus stifled a laugh behind his hand. “I’ll help him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No you will not! I’ll garrotte you with it if you get me one of those.” Sirius laughed, shoving his arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, sure you would princess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius opened their mouth to retort, before they were interrupted by their server appearing. She was holding a huge sundae and smiling broadly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“On the house, for your anniversary!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, ha, thank you so much.” Remus looked on with wide eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius laughed, clearing a space between them so she could set it down. “Wow that’s certainly something,” they said, putting their wine to the side. The sundae could probably feed four, with bananas, ice cream, pieces of brownie and cookie, and lots more ice cream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so welcome! I hope you enjoy it! Are you still okay for drinks? Coffee?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Coffees, love?” Remus looked across the table to Sirius.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah yes, I’d love an espresso, please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll have the same.” He agreed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Coming right up!” The server grinned at them again, blushing when she looked at Remus, before walking away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius gave a wistful sigh as she left, setting their chin on their palm. “I’ve lost you to her, haven't I? She gave you free dessert, and a sundae no less.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, 18 years and I’m leaving you for the girl who brings me free ice cream.” Remus picked up his spoon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I knew it.” Sirius did the same, tucking into the sundae.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m sorry, baby.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Chapter 29</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sirius was laughing as they stepped out of the restaurant to look for their Uber. It was a mild August night so they had their coat over one arm and Remus’ hand in the other. They had insisted on leaving the sweet server a large tip, and she had blushed and fumbled all the way through taking their payment. Sirius could barely keep a straight face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so glad we finally went to that restaurant.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too, it was a really good idea.” He kissed their temple.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you. Our Uber shouldn’t be long. Just back home, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think so, unless you wanted to go elsewhere tonight.” He rubbed their back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius shook their head, just so pleased Remus was smiling and looked much happier than a few hours ago. “Home is good for me. There’s still half a joint, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, home it is.” He leaned into them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius put their arm around his waist, peppering kisses from his temple down his cheek to his jaw. “I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too more than anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Even more than sundaes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah even more than sundaes, especially more than the server who brought it.” He chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius grinned. “Mmm I’m glad. I would’ve fought her for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, you have a jealous streak in you princess.” He rested his head on their shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, when I have a Daddy this wonderful, I don’t want anyone else to have him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aww, even when we’re having fun?” He bumped their hip. “Ah, there’s our Uber.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius bumped their hip back into his. “Maybe I’ll share when we’re having fun, but I know he’s mine.” They kissed his cheek before stepping off the curb and getting into the Uber.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Remus said once he slid into the car after them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius put their hand on his knee, squeezing slightly. “So glad we agree.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He moved closer to them, slipping an arm around their waist as he made some idle conversation with the driver. Sirius tipped their head onto his shoulder, watching his profile against the city going by. God, he was so handsome, and they were more than content to just watch and listen to him talk about inane shit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he spoke about Recovery, because the driver knew it, Remus’ hand went to their thigh. Sirius pressed their thighs together for a moment, watching him and marvelling at the way his face gave nothing away. With a wiggle of his fingers, Remus leaned closer to them. Knowing they shouldn’t, Sirius relaxed a little, leaning in to kiss his jaw, not disturbing him still talking to the driver.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hand traveled further up, and his fingers trailed up their inner thigh. Sirius couldn’t help giving a shiver, pressing their nose to the spot just behind his ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daddy,” they murmured, shifting a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus hummed, turning his attention to them. “Yes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius smiled, shaking their head slightly. “You’re awful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled back at them, his fingers against the hem of their underwear. Sirius just leaned their head on his shoulder, relishing him like this. For a split second, his hand pressed against them before slipping back down to their knee. Sirius just managed to stifle a groan, pressing against his side. Jesus, it didn’t help that they had been horny for about a week.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Isn’t that right, love?” Remus asked them with a serene look on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm?” Sirius looked at him, eyes wide. Shit, they hadn’t been paying attention to the conversation at all. “Ah, yes, yep.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thought so.” He nodded as his hand traveled back up their leg.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius squirmed, pressing a little closer to him and nuzzling back against his neck, not in the least to hide the look on their face from the Uber driver.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the ride, Remus teased them endlessly as he carried on his casual conversation with the driver. Sirius put their hand on his knee at one point, squeezing slightly. They didn’t want him to stop at all, even though it was the most glorious torture. They just wanted to get home already.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daddy, be nice,” they breathed in his ear, pressing close.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am nice,” Remus whispered as they got to their street.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius just rolled their eyes, sitting back and going to undo their seatbelt, more than ready to get out of the car. Remus slid out first after thanking the driver, holding the door open for Sirius. They smiled at him, getting out and straightening their dress. They felt warm all over and had a feeling it was only going to get worse… or better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” they murmured, kissing his cheek before taking his hand and pulling him towards the house.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Someone’s in a rush, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius bit their lip, looking back over their shoulder at him. “Says the man who’s hand has been up my skirt the whole ride home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, sorry.” Remus snorted a laugh as he went to unlock their door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius pressed against his side, looping their arms around his shoulders. “Please don’t ever apologise for feeling me up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good, I won’t then.” He opened the door. “So, what should we do the rest of the night?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought we could continue what you started in the Uber,” Sirius hummed, kissing his jaw.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right right. Why don’t you go up to the playroom and kneel on the sofa nicely?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius’ stomach flipped. “In my pretty dress or naked?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In your dress.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes Daddy.” Sirius leaned in and kissed him before starting off to the stairs, swaying their hips just a little as they walked. They went to the playroom, unlocking the trunk and getting out their favourite old leather collar to set next to them. Not bothering to take their heels off, Sirius knelt on the couch and put their hands in their lap, taking a deep breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They really hoped Remus wasn’t just doing this for them. He had a habit of putting his own needs to the side, and Sirius knew that being Daddy helped him in lots of ways too. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Surprisingly, Remus didn’t take too long to make them wait. They really thought with how he had been teasing, he’d wait a long time downstairs, but he came into the playroom maybe five minutes after Sirius, still dressed but not wearing his shoes. God, he was gorgeous, even more handsome than when they’d first met, and Sirius had been head over heels for him then; dumbstruck by his dimples and his curls and those bloody biceps.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi,” they breathed, smiling genuinely at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi princess.” He sat down next to them. “Head in my lap.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius shifted almost instantly, stretching out and obeying. They looked up at him, smiling. “I got my favourite collar out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you didn’t put it on? I’m surprised.” Remus reached over for it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like you doing it sometimes. Especially when you didn’t explicitly tell me to put one on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled, shaking his head as he slipped the collar around their neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Sirius asked softly, tipping their chin up for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m just thinking about how this you worry about being explicitly told.” He fastened the collar. “Yet you are such a brat with other things.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius chuckled. “I like surprising you with my brattiness. Plus I’m not going to pass up having your hands on my neck.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus adjusted the collar then rubbed one hand down their chest and the other combed through their hair. “Mmm, true.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See? There is method to my madness.” Sirius squirmed a little, leaning into his touch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Remus said softly, his fingers petting their hair softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius let their eyes close, content here. They didn’t care if Remus changed his mind, they just liked being curled up here with him, his fingers in their hair, his voice soft like that. “I love you, Daddy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too princess.” The hand that was on their chest went down to their thigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They smiled, turning to kiss his wrist as they let their knees fall apart a little. His long fingers rested on their thigh, just rubbing their skin softly. Painfully aware of the way their breath hitched, Sirius took a breath, forcing themselves to relax. Perhaps Remus didn’t tease them by making them wait so long here by themselves, but it definitely seemed like he was going to tease them now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you need princess?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius squirmed, their eyes flickering open to look up at him. “You, Daddy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” Remus’ fingers went through their hair again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm, I want you to be happy, Daddy. M’yours. Do whatever you want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you are, baby.” He smiled at them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius reached up to trace the corner of his smile with their finger, trailing over his bottom lip. He kissed the tip of their finger before giving their thigh a squeeze. Sirius </span>
  <em>
    <span>tried</span>
  </em>
  <span> not to squirm just with that pressure, but they instinctively lifted their hips up towards his touch, still tracing their finger over his lip. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daddy’s so handsome.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not as beautiful as my princess.” He grinned, his fingers walking down their leg.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius bit their lip, determined not to beg but they so wanted to--especially with the way his praise made their stomach twist--and Remus did always like it when they asked so nicely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can touch yourself princess, if you need to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius groaned, sliding their own hand down his arm, squeezing his wrist for a moment, they did want that, but they wanted to make this last, too, surprised Remus had let them so quickly. Without asking, too.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Chapter 30</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The teasing in the car was fun, but Remus wasn’t much in the mood, so he was happy to let Sirius get themselves off. Brushing his fingers through their hair Remus gave their thigh another squeeze with his other hand. “You’re so good princess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius groaned, biting their lip as they palmed themselves through their underwear. “I like being--being good for you Daddy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, baby.” He smiled, playing with their hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever Daddy wants,” they mumbled, kissing his wrist again as they circled their fingers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus’ hand on their thigh slid up and down. “You’re so sweet tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They smiled up at him. “Only for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.” He leaned forward and kissed their forehead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm. Are you happy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus nodded with a slight frown. “Yeah, I’m very happy. Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius leaned in and kissed him softly, propping themselves onto one elbow. “I just like making sure. When you’re feeling meh. I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, thank you baby. I’m very meh.” He snickered, hand going through their hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm, I can tell. But I want you to still have fun. You like watching me, though, hm?” Sirius arched up, their dress falling down over their hips to expose their underwear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Remus said softly, fingers still in their hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius closed their eyes, sliding their hand underneath their briefs, wrapping their fingers around their cock. Remus didn’t feel very into it, but he could let Sirius get off and help them a little. He could tell on and off all week they were in need of something more than a cuddle and playing with their hair. Remus wished he could give them more than this, but they seemed more than content with what was happening. They arched up, squirming a little so their hair splayed all around them and in Remus’ lap. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so beautiful, princess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They bit their lip around a smile and squirmed as their hand moved just beneath the hem of their dress. “Mmm, yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. I bet you’re all worked up from the car.” He wrapped a finger around a lock of hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, yeah I am. Daddy was being very mean in the car.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus slid a hand to their chest and trailed it up then down. “Aww, my poor baby.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius shivered, lifting their hips a little. “It was very nice, but very mean.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How can I be nice and mean at the same time?” He asked, knowing full well how he could because he’s been the master of it for over a decade now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm, you know. It’s wonderful but not quite wonderful enough. And--ahh--I think Daddy wanted to make me squirm, asking all those questions when I’m trying not to come from your teasing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You poor thing. I thought you’d like it a lot.” Remus leaned down to kiss their forehead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius smiled, leaning up to meet him. “I love it, a lot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you do. You like me touching you when other people are around but don’t know. You like trying not to moan and come when my hand is on your cock.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They let out a soft moan, eyes fluttering shut. “Yeah, ahh, I do. You get this grin on your face.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus’ fingers grazed over their long, pale neck. “Yeah? I like knowing what I’m doing to you but you can’t do anything about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius tipped their chin up to bare their neck to him and Remus could see the flush creeping down their skin. “Ahh, yeah, yeah you do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so good though, you don’t come until I want you to.” He trailed a finger over the flush.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. I--I only come when Daddy lets me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You listen so well.” Remus grinned down at them. “Do you wanna come?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They gave a little moan, twisting their wrist. “Ye--yeah, please Daddy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm…” Remus tilted his head in thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius squirmed. “Ah, please? Please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, princess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why--ah--why not?” Sirius stopped stroking themselves, panting softly with their hand still wrapped around themselves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus shrugged a shoulder, still grinning. Sirius threw their head back, biting their lip. They couldn’t keep their hips still, not stroking but grinding their hips up into their hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I’m so close, please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aww poor princess. Maybe…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘How--how can I convince you? I’ll be good, do whatever you want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure you can baby.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius squirmed, biting their lip hard. “Please, please. I’ll do what you want,” they ushered out before taking a deep, shaky breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aww, you’re really hard aren’t you?” Remus gave a tug to their hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ahh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Yeah--yeah, just for you Daddy, please. I wanna come.” Sirius squirmed again, not able to stay still.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, you can come.” He took some pity on them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius moaned, starting to stroke themselves again, not trying to draw it out anymore. “Fuck, thank you, thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, maybe you can’t come. Who are you thanking?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They made the most adorable little whimper, their back arching. “Ahh, thank you Daddy. Daddy, I love you, you’re so good to me letting me come, thank you Daddy thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so welcome princess. Come for Daddy.” He pulled their hair again. Sirius let out a sharp moan, their body tensing and shuddering as they came, head thrown back into Remus’ lap. “Oh you’re so good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a sigh, Sirius sank back onto the couch, breathing hard. “Fuck.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus let their hair go, but continued to play with it. “Are you good now?” He chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah I am. God, you’re so good.” Sirius closed their eyes, catching their breath. “I know you’re meh right now, but do you want anything?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I’m fine, baby.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” Sirius opened their eyes to smile up at him. “I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too.” He let out a long breath. “Good anniversary?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm, wonderful. Have you had fun too?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus nodded. “Lots of fun. Just what I needed. Sorry for the indecisiveness earlier.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright. We figured out something in the end, didn’t we?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, we did.” He played with their hair. “Things are going to be different for awhile with Jordan living here, aren’t they?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius bit their lip, looking up at him. “Yeah, it is, isn’t it? But it’ll be alright.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I think so.” He nodded, stroking their hair still. “We’re always all right.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Tomorrow we'll start the second part to this arch, which is HIGH ANGST. But the part after (which will be the final part) will be full fluff!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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